It’s been 3 weeks since I’ve sat at the laundromat. Not for lack of trying. Came 2 weeks ago – but no one showed. But today, I’m here and in a show of solidarity, the WIFI is actually working!
So! Let’s catch you up.
I’ve been ‘peopling’ in an effort to throw myself out of the house and beat this anxiety/agoraphobia stuff.
Last Saturday night I was to attend my bosses house for a small party with dinner and drinks.
Let’s just say, it ended with me bleeding and spending the week applying neosporin to the scrape above my cut and swollen upper lip. May or may not have fractured my nose too – Super tender and I woke up last night to it bleeding again.
But, as they say, if you’re going to have too many beverages, it should be at your bosses house.
Said NO ONE EVER!
I called my boss in the morning and was assured I wasn’t inappropriate and that everyone had a great time. The ‘incident’ occurred when she and I were outside waiting for my taxi.
She left me unattended for a brief moment to flag said taxi down, in which time, I managed to get out of my chair, lose my balance, break a fall with my face and stand up again. See, this is why they hired me! Excellent time management!
Last night was a long anticipated concert that my mum managed to get tickets for.
Now, I don’t know all of their songs, I’m not going to lie. But the ones I know, I enjoy. And KISS is such an iconic band that you really have to say “YES! I would love to see them” when asked.
She had 2 tickets, and with my bird out of the nest I didn’t really have anyone to take.
She decided to give the other ticket to a friend of hers who really wanted to go. Then didn’t.
I met up with her at a casino she was staying at and received my ticket.
She mentioned that the other guy wasn’t going – but that she would walk with me to the venue. (There’s no parking at this particular event center – it’s either take a shuttle or hoof it.)
We began walking and I started to get a tad nervous about how large the event was.
The seat assignment on my ticket soothed me however, front and center, 6 rows back!
We approached my destination and she stood with me in the line for security.
“What are you going to do with the other ticket?”
“Oh, it’s claimed.” She replied.
“Mum, you can go, I’ll be ok. You need to get back and get the ticket to the person so they don’t miss the start.”
She kept walking with me and suddenly we were both at security and she was being scanned.
“You’re coming with me?!?!!!”
Did NOT see that one coming.
“You owe me big time. I’m sacrificing myself for this.”
As it turned out – she had a blast. As did I. Seats were amazing, show was fantastic.
“Which ones are the originals?”
“Which ones are my age?”
Lots of questions – then much standing and dancing and singing along.
A great deal of that confetti landed in my top – in my bra – in my purse and in my eye. LOL!
I’ve heard a lot of negative comments about Paul’s voice, but I’ll tell you that live he sounded amazing. Of course he’s not going to sound like he did decades ago – but they all performed incredibly!
We walked back to her casino (and my car) hand in hand.
“Look at us – like when you were little – only, now I’m the small one.”
A small firecracker! Who went to see a band she had no interest in seeing to spend time with me.
This getting out and about thing may leave me with bruises sometimes – but I’m conquering my fears and making memories.
I hope for many more.
It has come to my attention that I can’t stay up late anymore.
My 47th birthday brought with it such gifts as: Inability to sleep through the night without peeing at least once, Feeling like I’ve been hit by a truck if I don’t see the back of my eyelids by 10 p.m. at the latest and even more scary face wrinkles when I look down and my iPad reflects my image.
Thanks a lot.
You REALLY shouldn’t have.
But! It is what it is and I, being who I am, will continue to do what I shouldn’t and last night I tested the powers of 47’s gifts and am regretting it as I sit typing.
Let’s start from the beginning.
As part Deux of my birthday, my mum collected me for a pedicure. It’s been a looooong time.
My feet were starting to resemble something that looked directly at Medusa.
We were greeted by a beautiful Asian lady – and both given a bottle of water.
Considering it was 120 degrees outside, this was like being handed a bar of gold.
Once in the chairs with our feet in the water, I was ready to take a nap.
The chairs massaged … The water bubbled, I reclined and was already in paradise.
Oh! My view from my chair? This guy. He was HUGE and odd and I loved him.
My pedicurist arrived at my feet and opened a sterile packet containing all his necessary pedi instruments, then took one look at my feet and got up to go to the back.
I turned to my mum, “He’s getting the heavy artillery.”
Not only do they do the usual pedi things – BUT! Hot rocks were brought out for a leg and foot massage. He also did something with his thumb on both of my feet that gave me goosebumps and a sudden urge to marry him.
After all was done, we wobbled out to the car like boneless chickens.
Now for lunch.
Buffet with sushi? SO my kind of lunch!
‘Healthy’ dessert. (Ok, listen there were two other plates of food I’m not sharing … I ate like I was about to depart as a contestant to some island for Survivor.)
Sated – we got back into the hot car.
The car was seriously hotter than the 120 degrees outside.
Next was the shops.
We had only made it to our first stop when I had an urgent need to discover if Petsmart had a bathroom.
(Buffet ‘all you can eat’ sushi became an example of ‘if it seems to good to be true …’ You know the rest.)
The two of us realized we had only rented our lunch.
And each shop after had us returning some of our meal. Lol!
Too much info? Sorry. The truth had to be told.
Then – off to the grocery store. Look who was hanging (literally) in the meat section.
Gave my pup a bath … Here she is all coconut scented and sunshine.
Didn’t stop there … Steam cleaned my kitchen floor.
I was exhausted and ready for an early night.
Except, I learned my friend was working at the local ‘Gentleman’s Club’ that night and I haven’t seen her in a long time.
Taxi to the strip club.
I did two amazing interviews with my friend and another lady. And for whatever reason, am having the biggest issue uploading them to YouTube! Grrrrr. When I figure that out, of course I will share. (Especially considering that during the second interview, a rogue man outside walked up to us and was shut DOWN by my interviewee. LOL!)
You know, even the strip club was rocking the spa vibe … They don’t serve alcohol, (good idea) but, they had delicious cucumber water. Classy.
By the time I got home and had walked the dog and readied myself for bed it was two in the morning!!!!
I STILL managed to get everything done this morning though. Laundry, a store return (and a little shopping with the store credit), washed car and have turkey sausages in the oven.
A nap however, is imminent.
And well deserved if I do say so myself.
Happy Sunday Soupers!
Today was amazing.
(Tangent – I was just sitting outside and you know how beautiful doves ‘coo’ when they’re sitting? When they’re flying not so much. Lol. It’s like this … Um … Squawk asthma croaky thing.)
After laundry, I woke my son and we met my parents at a local casino for brunch.
I’m stickin’ with the no cow or pig diet. (Yes, I cheated … I was CRAVING meat whilst it was ‘that time of the month’ and regretted it VERY soon after. My body HATED having red meat in it. And told me so. Crazy that I was used to it.)
Here’s some more fun pics.
Nic trying his first snail …
He actually ended up liking it.
My desserts …
And yeah, I ate every single bite lol!
My mum and me. I swear, she looks younger than ME in this photo! I guess I have good genes and should be very grateful!!!
Fun with … I dunno. I’m so ‘app’ lost!!!! I don’t have a cell phone. I don’t know if this is face swap or face thingy or whatever. But, I do know I love this pic. 🙂
Me and my crab!!! I HAVE given up red meat and pork – but not seafood yet. I can’t. I love it. And as long as it has LIVED and has a fighting chance in the ocean, I’m ok with the capture. Not like factory farming. 😦
My bird and I.
My beautiful mum and I. Saying ‘bye for now’ on the way to the garage where this awaited …
PLUS! Vegan shampoo and conditioner – and some beautiful heartfelt cards.
And here’s the whole family.
We had a lot of fun today.
Then Nic and I went grocery shopping and I paused in my head and thought ‘this is amazing. We’re going home with groceries and just spent time with people we love’.
So, yeah. I don’t take things for granted. I spent my birthday wearing my grand mother’s ring and loving my mum and loving my son and a thank you hug to my dad …
Life needs to be appreciated EVERY day!
I’m just glad to be alive at 47.
And NEVER going to lie about my age. It’s a miracle. EVERY SINGLE YEAR!
I’m so glad each of you were born and HAPPY HAPPY Birthday to YOU!
Regardless if it’s your birthday or not, you have one, and I’m glad of it!
It’s still too early to sleep – but that’s what I want.
How do I feel? I feel dank.
Dank and dark and hopeless – and hopeful and grateful all at the same time.
Does that make sense? No.
I feel like I have been peeled alive and felt every bit of it, but am still grateful for being alive.
I am missing my mum.
I am hating what is the ‘waiting game’. Knowing everyone gets what the outcome is.
Horrific isn’t it? That I’m waiting day by day (as is she, but MUCH more personally) for the ‘finale’
I won’t put a full stop there on purpose.
It is not a mistake in the sentence.
And there will be no mistaking the grief.
I feel guilty for wanting my mum home, because it will be when her mum, and my Nannie has passed.
I should already have my laundry basket prepared … my detergent packed – my bed stripped. But, I’m too comfortable in it to strip it. Too snuggly in my soft pajamas to do anything but stay in this quiet moment.
It’s inevitable – if I want clean clothes and sheets – and I am fond of such things.
But just this moment – right this second – it is SO deliciously quiet and peaceful and calm.
I have my cup of coffee, of the home made fancy variety.
Butters is outside exploring. Nic is sleeping. And the sun is hitting my curtain in a way that makes me smile.
It’s been a long few days.
Nicholas is experiencing the joy of becoming wise – in a most painful way. Yes, the wisdom teeth.
Well, ‘tooth’ as far as we can tell with all of our dental training.
Unfortunately for my chipmunk – he has an infection (again, educated guess based on the level of pain and size of his cheek.)
Last night, as we sat on our opposing couches, he suddenly jumped up and rushed to the kitchen.
Nic: I think something just happened.
(I pretty much knew ‘something’ must have happened because Nic doesn’t move that quickly off of furniture for ‘nothing’.)
It turns out, that ‘something’ was an abscess rupturing in his mouth.
Me: Rinse with warm salt water!!
(Nic was already holding the salt – note to self: He DOES listen and retain advice from time to time – keep giving it)
I should take a moment to explain why I am not a terrible mother for not having had him seen by a dentist yet.
We were pretty sure a wisdom tooth was coming in – and he was in pain. But, as I said to Nic, “Of course you’re in pain, you are teething.”
It wasn’t until Halloween that he developed the swollen face.
I’m not going to go into details and pity stories – the long and short of it is, we don’t have health or dental insurance and we don’t have ‘in case of emergency’ money.
I spent Friday at work trying to figure out how to get him to a dentist.
So after the great ‘rupture’ he was actually feeling better.
Nic: Mom, look, I think it’s a good thing. I can bite down now. I don’t think I have to go to the dentist!
Me: Um … an abscess popping in your mouth isn’t a check mark in the ‘reasons I DON’T have to go to the dentist’ column.
Then he was sad. Spitting remaining salt water and drool into his little spit cup.
We had engaged in conversation earlier about the reality of the situation. I assured him his health was priority one, but that might mean Christmas would not be the same under the tree.
We spoke again when I visited him in his room.
Nic: I don’t want you spending money or owing money
Me: It is what it is. It’s important! Money can be replaced. It’s silly isn’t it? These pieces of paper that we trade for goods and services. Sure, it would make things easier if we had more of it – but we don’t. We’re blessed though. Everything always works out. So, don’t worry about it.
And we are blessed.
We’re alive – have use of our limbs and our faculties. We have a home and food and snuggly pajamas. We have each other and Butters. We have clothes TO wash and transportation TO get to the place to wash them.
And we have sunlight playing on our curtains. And the kind of eyes and souls that notice such things – and smile.