It has come to my attention that I can’t stay up late anymore.
My 47th birthday brought with it such gifts as: Inability to sleep through the night without peeing at least once, Feeling like I’ve been hit by a truck if I don’t see the back of my eyelids by 10 p.m. at the latest and even more scary face wrinkles when I look down and my iPad reflects my image.
Thanks a lot.
You REALLY shouldn’t have.
But! It is what it is and I, being who I am, will continue to do what I shouldn’t and last night I tested the powers of 47’s gifts and am regretting it as I sit typing.
Let’s start from the beginning.
As part Deux of my birthday, my mum collected me for a pedicure. It’s been a looooong time.
My feet were starting to resemble something that looked directly at Medusa.
We were greeted by a beautiful Asian lady – and both given a bottle of water.
Considering it was 120 degrees outside, this was like being handed a bar of gold.
Once in the chairs with our feet in the water, I was ready to take a nap.
The chairs massaged … The water bubbled, I reclined and was already in paradise.
Oh! My view from my chair? This guy. He was HUGE and odd and I loved him.
My pedicurist arrived at my feet and opened a sterile packet containing all his necessary pedi instruments, then took one look at my feet and got up to go to the back.
I turned to my mum, “He’s getting the heavy artillery.”
Not only do they do the usual pedi things – BUT! Hot rocks were brought out for a leg and foot massage. He also did something with his thumb on both of my feet that gave me goosebumps and a sudden urge to marry him.
After all was done, we wobbled out to the car like boneless chickens.
Now for lunch.
Buffet with sushi? SO my kind of lunch!
‘Healthy’ dessert. (Ok, listen there were two other plates of food I’m not sharing … I ate like I was about to depart as a contestant to some island for Survivor.)
Sated – we got back into the hot car.
The car was seriously hotter than the 120 degrees outside.
Next was the shops.
We had only made it to our first stop when I had an urgent need to discover if Petsmart had a bathroom.
(Buffet ‘all you can eat’ sushi became an example of ‘if it seems to good to be true …’ You know the rest.)
The two of us realized we had only rented our lunch.
And each shop after had us returning some of our meal. Lol!
Too much info? Sorry. The truth had to be told.
Then – off to the grocery store. Look who was hanging (literally) in the meat section.
Gave my pup a bath … Here she is all coconut scented and sunshine.
Didn’t stop there … Steam cleaned my kitchen floor.
I was exhausted and ready for an early night.
Except, I learned my friend was working at the local ‘Gentleman’s Club’ that night and I haven’t seen her in a long time.
Taxi to the strip club.
I did two amazing interviews with my friend and another lady. And for whatever reason, am having the biggest issue uploading them to YouTube! Grrrrr. When I figure that out, of course I will share. (Especially considering that during the second interview, a rogue man outside walked up to us and was shut DOWN by my interviewee. LOL!)
You know, even the strip club was rocking the spa vibe … They don’t serve alcohol, (good idea) but, they had delicious cucumber water. Classy.
By the time I got home and had walked the dog and readied myself for bed it was two in the morning!!!!
I STILL managed to get everything done this morning though. Laundry, a store return (and a little shopping with the store credit), washed car and have turkey sausages in the oven.
A nap however, is imminent.
And well deserved if I do say so myself.
Happy Sunday Soupers!
I feel like a mini-monster.
I haven’t seen glaucoma man in weeks – due to coming late or doing laundry on different days. He’s here, and he wanted to catch up and I just needed him to stop talking.
I started doing that ‘slowly inch away from the person shuffle’ but my hints were not received.
I adore him. But I’m tired. We still managed to cover everything from Jackpots to Blood Pressure to Talent – before I made it to my table.
I literally woke up after less than 6 hours of sleep – with a raging Orange Is the New Black binge hangover. Blurred vision, theme song repeating in my head – stumbled to the bathroom and brushed my teeth.
If you’re a fan, I won’t put any spoilers here – but I WILL say that after an amazing Season 1, then (for me) a disappointing Season 2 – this latest Season hit it out of the park.
To my honey’s credit – he watched every single second of all 13 episodes with me.
Made sushi this weekend – and yesterday morning.
It’s VERY cheap to make! And easy. I taught Jim how to do it and he became quite the pro – didn’t even use a rolling mat.
SO a plate full of sushi and fresh coffee and then our Netflix marathon ensued!
Our original breakfast was to be sausage and eggs …. I bought 4 garlic/onion pork sausages – but after my last post, didn’t think that chowing down on pork was the best route to take. ALTHOUGH … they are already in the house, and defrosted, and we can’t be wasting money or food.
Ok! Ok, I’m still craving meat.
But I have been good.
And I’m REALLY going to try to stick to the no cow or pig diet.
I’m on the fence about chicken … and definitely still plan to eat fish.
Like shuffling away from a conversation in a laundromat, I’m inching away from the meat.
Comfort eating … I wanted to say I’ve been doing it since Monday – then I remembered the Calamari post. <– click here. Oops.
I am currently completely, totally nauseated.
FIRST TANGENT: It drives me bonkers when people say “I feel nauseous.” It may have been so misused that Websters just gave up and decided to make its original meaning null and void, but back in the day – Nauseous meant you made OTHERS sick – to feel nauseated meant YOU felt sick. Okay. We clear now?
I’ve been indulging in chocolate covered almonds at work – oh, and trail mix. And not in the ‘healthy’ trail mix way.
It’s ridiculous. It all started with a weekend of pampering courtesy of my mom (oh gawd, this has been going on a WEEK!)
We enjoyed a pedicure together and then Sushi.
We eat a LOT of sushi. This time, we were smart though. “Remember, we never eat it all – and it’s too hot to leave in the car to do anything else.” I said.
So we just ate a lot more there. LOL!
I ended up carting the take away box containing a much smaller amount of ‘left overs’ than I thought there would be into Wal-Mart and Bed Bath and Beyond.
SECOND TANGENT: Wandered over to the fan section
to sign some 8 x 10 glossys and pose for a few pics to see if there was one in my budget for my son’s room. Found an awesome one! Then I looked at the price tag and walked away. More about ‘the fan’ later.
So weekend is over. I’ll be honest with you. Brutally truthful. I lost weight on purpose, took me a while – but I was very pleased with the results. I am about 5’9, 5’10 and weigh between 125-130 pounds depending on the day. I get called ‘skinny’ a lot. Which, is a little mean – I wouldn’t announce to someone they were ‘fat’. Besides, I’m not grossly underweight – I’m just not overweight. I’m ‘thin’. I eat – believe me. And NO I don’t ‘return’ it. Ew.
I have my days I’ll eat whatever I want, then I’m sensible the rest of the week … or at least 5 days of the week anyway.
Not this week.
Tuesday is meeting day in the office next door – and I have an all access pass to their kitchen. It’s not what you know people, it’s who you know. LOL!
This was their spread Tuesday:
The rest of the week is sort of a blur. I was in a bit of a food coma. I brought lunch everyday, and then somehow – was provided a meal as well. One day I had just finished the Italian sausage pasta I made over the weekend – when my boss walked in with this:
That same day, (actually, WHILE I was eating my fries – because you can’t let them get cold) I was helping a man at my desk. Wasn’t exactly related to my job, but he was a friend of the loan officer. I had helped him and chatted to him a while back , and the day before and now I was faxing Last Wills and Testaments for him and what-not.
We spoke a lot. He asked me where I lived – I got a little nervous. I don’t like personal questions from strangers … candy I’ll take, and yes, I’ll help them find their puppy, but I’m uncomfortable answering personal questions.
Turns out he was only asking because he wanted to compare electric bills. We agreed they did seem to be a lot higher than last year. This man just had major surgery on his heart and so I went the extra mile. Told him about ‘the fan’. Remember? The one I was looking at in Bed Bath and Beyond whilst holding a to-go container of sushi.
I told him, it’s an ‘air circulator’ and it’s suppose to cut your electric bill down. It disperses the cool air into every corner of your room. I told him what I had found out about it while I researched whether or not I should spend the money on it. Thought it might help him.
This is ‘The fan’.
He left. I finished my box ‘o food. (Followed by a sudden craving for gummy sharks – which was followed by a walk over to the gas station and purchase of said gummy sharks – then I proceeded to consume all but FOUR of the damn gummy sharks.)
I’m feeling NAUSEATED and the door opens.
It is the man I was helping earlier.
Holding ‘the fan’.
Now – if you have read many of my posts, (there are over 200, who knows) you’ll know that I have the HARDEST time accepting help/money/gifts from other people.
So I’m preparing my ‘Oh, thank you you’re so sweet – but I couldn’t possibly‘ speech. When he disarmed me with his own words. In a nutshell, he said that he didn’t have many people to speak to. That I had been very kind to him – and that he could tell what sort of character I had. He bought himself one and he wanted me to have one.
What do you SAY to that??
“You’re welcome – and um, no. Take it back!” I’m trying to learn to be gracious and LET people feel the same way I do when I give someone a gift (or when I could give a gift anyway.)
So I have a new fan. And I’ve gained 4 pounds. Not just from food – but from that simple act of accepting something from someone that’s weighing on me.
Think I need one of these …