My (too?) gay proud memo moment

Just had a very eye-opening experience.

I get memos all the time from lenders – I’m alerted when rates improve or worsen, when a new program is available and when there is a change in procedures with an existing program.

So I’m sitting and working and ‘ding!’ I have an email from a lender we use a lot.

Ever have a moment when you feel like you’re part of something important?  Historical?  When you know you won’t soon forget the moment you’re in and have a feeling your children might remember it too?

I was a student aid for the attendance office in high school.  On January 28, 1986, I was in that office when I had to deliver a note to each classroom advising the teachers and students that we lost 7 souls on Space Shuttle Challenger.  (It wouldn’t be until a few years later when the gravity of that task hit me.)

I still have the rate sheets from 9/11 – the alerts and market suspensions.

And today – a good moment.

I read the following memo and knew that I was part of a special moment:

“Effective immediately, on a case-by-case basis, VA will provide the home loan guaranty benefit to same-sex married couples in a manner consistent with the benefit currently in place for opposite-sex married couples.  After reviewing the following information, VA will determine whether a same-sex married couple can be qualified for a VA loan using the income of both spouses:

  • Date and State of marriage
  • State of residence at the time of marriage
  • State in which the subject property is located
  • State in which the couple currently resides
  • Estimated closing date of the VA loan”

(Etc.  I won’t type the whole email – I don’t need a plagiarism suit)

same sex benefits

So!  I’m reading this – and the grin on my face is getting bigger and bigger … The fact that it’s the VA loan is even more exciting to me.  From “Don’t ask don’t tell” to VA home loan benefit for same-sex couples?

Very cool.

Now – I ran with the ‘very cool’ sentiment, literally. 

Holding the memo that I printed, like Charlie held that golden ticket, I breathlessly shared the news with whomever would listen.  My eyes glistening with a shiny happy ‘very cool’ glaze.

Did not – for ONE second – occur to me that not everyone would share my excitement or my opinion.


I mean – seriously,  NEVER did the thought that perhaps not everyone would be as shiny eyed as me over it, enter my mind.  At all.  Ever. 


For sure.

I mentioned to the first person I told (after my eye-opening experience) that I needed to look at that.  I needed to look at the fact that I didn’t think anyone would have differing opinions.  He said, “Well … you wouldn’t.” 

That made me feel a little better  (but not less naïve).  I’m not comfortable that the thought wouldn’t occur to me that not everyone was open-minded and for equality.

And I’m still surprised.

Oh well,  years from now, when my great-grandchildren are thinking I’m pulling their leg about same-sexed couples being treated differently at one time – I’ll get to share with them the story of ‘the memo’.


About debaucherysoup

I've traveled 4 continents, affording me experiences and adventures to last a lifetime. Most important was the exposure to other cultures, beliefs and lifestyles. I'm also mom to one of the most amazing human beings I know.

Posted on October 3, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 8 Comments.

  1. I remember that day I was in Mr Loomis’s class when he got the note and told the class.

  2. The Gay Marriage issue has gone so crazy here, I really and truly don’t know where it stands at this moment. I do remember back in 1998 or 99ish, when it was being voted on, two of my friends went from being so happy and hopeful one day, to extremely depressed and defeated the next. Equal rights are equal rights, so simple..shouldn’t be complicated.

  3. I don’t agree with gay marriage (and in fact I wrote a blog about it) but I still found your post entertaining. It wouldn’t have amazed me that many don’t support MY views. Oh well.

    BTW, that last pic made me laugh. My immediate thought was “That looks like a very complicated relationship.” LOL.

    • I love hearing other points of view. Thank you for taking the time to leave a comment. I really was oblivious to the fact that others might have a different opinion – and what I learned from that is this: If I am to have my own beliefts and want people to hear my point of view, I have to respect differing beliefs and hear differing points of view.
      Yes, the picture does sort of lend a complicated view doesn’t it? Can you imagine? 😉 That would be one full house.

      • No kidding. It’s actually refreshing to see someone who actually respects my views. Most of the time I admit that I don’t actually approve of gay marriage, I am immediately called a bigot and a host of other term (that don’t belong here). So, thank you.

      • Aw – I’m sorry. I’m personally for gay marriage, although I myself am not gay. I believe in Love and equality. But, I also believe and respect that people have the right to disagree. Thanks again. Peace and love and light to you and yours.

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