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Musings from the Laundromat: Pedicures & Pole Dancing

It has come to my attention that I can’t stay up late anymore.

My 47th birthday brought with it such gifts as: Inability to sleep through the night without peeing at least once, Feeling like I’ve been hit by a truck if I don’t see the back of my eyelids by 10 p.m. at the latest and even more scary face wrinkles when I look down and my iPad reflects my image.

Thanks 47.

Thanks a lot.

You REALLY shouldn’t have.

But! It is what it is and I, being who I am, will continue to do what I shouldn’t and last night I tested the powers of 47’s gifts and am regretting it as I sit typing.

Let’s start from the beginning.

As part Deux of my birthday, my mum collected me for a pedicure.  It’s been a looooong time.

My feet were starting to resemble something that looked directly at Medusa.

We were greeted by a  beautiful Asian lady – and both given a bottle of water.

Considering it was 120 degrees outside, this was like being handed a bar of gold.

Once in the chairs with our feet in the water, I was ready to take a nap.

The chairs massaged … The water bubbled, I reclined and was already in paradise.


Oh!  My view from my chair?  This guy.  He was HUGE and odd and I loved him.


My pedicurist arrived at my feet and opened a sterile packet containing all his necessary pedi instruments, then took one look at my feet and got up to go to the back.

I turned to my mum, “He’s getting the heavy artillery.”


Not only do they do the usual pedi things – BUT!  Hot rocks were brought out for a leg and foot massage.  He also did something with his thumb on both of my feet that gave me goosebumps and a sudden urge to marry him.


After all was done, we wobbled out to the car like boneless chickens.

Now for lunch.


Buffet with sushi?  SO my kind of lunch!


‘Healthy’ dessert.  (Ok, listen there were two other plates of food I’m not sharing … I ate like I was about to depart as a contestant to some island for Survivor.)

Sated – we got back into the hot car.

The car was seriously hotter than the 120 degrees outside.

Next was the shops.

We had only made it to our first stop when I had an urgent need to discover if Petsmart had a bathroom.

(Buffet ‘all you can eat’ sushi became an example of ‘if it seems to good to be true …’ You know the  rest.)

The two of us realized we had only rented our lunch.

And each shop after had us returning some of our meal. Lol!

Too much info?  Sorry.  The truth had to be told.


Then – off to the grocery store.  Look who was hanging (literally) in the meat section.


Home again.

Gave my pup a bath …  Here she is all coconut scented and sunshine.


Didn’t stop there … Steam cleaned my kitchen floor.

I was exhausted and ready for an early night.

Except, I learned my friend was working at the local ‘Gentleman’s Club’ that night and I haven’t seen her in a long time.

Taxi to the strip club.

I did two amazing interviews with my friend and another lady.   And for whatever reason, am having the biggest issue uploading them to YouTube!   Grrrrr.   When I figure that out, of course I will share.   (Especially considering that during the second interview, a rogue man outside walked up to us and was shut DOWN by my interviewee.  LOL!)


You know, even the strip club was rocking the spa vibe … They don’t serve alcohol, (good idea) but, they had delicious cucumber water.   Classy.

By the time I got home and had walked the dog and readied myself for bed it was two in the morning!!!!

I STILL managed to get everything done this morning though.  Laundry, a store return (and a little shopping with the store credit), washed car and have turkey sausages in the oven.

A nap however, is imminent.

And well deserved if I do say so myself.

Happy Sunday Soupers!

Musings from the Laundromat: The morning after – more thoughts about the strip club

“Close that ipad and let’s go.”  Got here late and that was the sentence I just heard from a mom to her son.

It’s no wonder I’m here late – after a long night at the strip joint and early morning eggplant – I’m ready to crawl back into bed.  But, the quilt is in the washing machine.

I keep thinking about last night.

I keep thinking about the common thread of how the girls were ‘numb’ to their environment.


Basically robots – doing their routines very routinely.

But it works for them.  They get to be home during the day for their children.  They get to pay the bills (after tipping out an insane percentage) and they strut their stuff with their significant others permission.

I’m not quite sure I get that part.  The amount of money tossed on stage dictated the amount of clothing they tossed off onto the stage.  Am I a prude for thinking I wouldn’t want someone I love sharing the intimacy of their body with strangers?

We’ll take ‘prude’ out of the equation, because after all, I was there.

I absolutely didn’t end up leaving there with any sort of judgements.

And I’ll be honest, a part of me would like to cross one stomp across a stage like that off my bucket list – but I’m not brave enough.  Not confident enough either.

I mentioned it to the girls, and they all said “Oh you have to!  They’ll let you!”  Um, no.

I’m 46, flat chested and while I have a routine down in my head that is choreographed to ‘Peek a boo’ by Siouxsie and the Banshees, I’m not ever going to enact that in reality.

I’ve done it in the car plenty of times though.  In my head. lol.

Bottom line is, I’m glad we went.  And I’m glad I met the ladies who shared their ‘behind the scenes’ with me.  They looked after one another and were kind to me.

After the interview, it was sort of sad to watch them dance, because, I felt closer to them.

I was uncomfortable with the leering bachelor party for leering.

But I also knew, the girls were doing their very rehearsed ‘thing’ with every loud click of high heels – and they were living that dance while running their upcoming children’s birthdays through their heads.