Hitchers and Ditchers
It’s been a while – I know!
I don’t know whether to blame my lack of posts on the absence of a laundromat, or just be honest and say I haven’t been doing much of anything I used to do .
I have had a pretty eventful few days however, and thought I would share them with you.
I had tried to call in Tuesday morning due to a flipping sinus infection I’ve had for over a month. My boss didn’t get my message until it was after the cut off time for me getting to work on time, so the martyr I am, I drug my arse in.
Turns out my arse was tuckered out after an hour and I had permission to take it home.
I reached a spot where there is a final gas station before coming to my town, and there, on the corner of said station was a woman holding a blue gas can with her thumb out.
I ALMOST stopped – having recently encountered being stuck on the side of that very same road not so long ago, but – I’ve seen too many movies and just knew she had an accomplice lurking.
I passed her, then felt awful.
I vowed if I saw a car on the side of the road (no matter which side) I would go back and collect her.
Not. One. Car.
Which, in and of itself is strange because there’s almost always at LEAST one car showing off it’s hazard lights or exposed engine.
This made me curious and yes, I shared it on my Facebook page.
I was then informed by those ‘in the know’ that the lady hitcher was in fact a hooker.
Hey, I have nothing against hookers personally, but felt like an idiot. And, what if I HAD pulled over? Then what? Would she have come clean? Or got in? I will never know.
Alright, so yesterday, I DID stay home. I slept harder than I can last remember sleeping. (If you are comparing that sleep to other times I did while only utilizing one quarter of one nostril to breathe through.)
Between almost drowning from my own condition or suffocating, I did manage to get quite a bit of rest actually and I was super thirsty due to a lot of mouth breathing. I got up late afternoon craving ice cold iced tea. I had no iced tea. I was to venture out of my infirmary and GET some dang iced tea.
So I did.
Now, stick with me here.
I’ve explained before how dangerous our local highway is. I am very cautious! I get to the gas station just fine, select some tea and prepare to go home to rest some more.
I pulled out into the median turn lane and to my right, both lanes, lots of cars were coming. So I wait.
The ATV next to me however, decided they didn’t want to wait. Oh, and first of all, not sure why he was NEXT to me. Although, I was pulled over pretty tight to the left to execute my turn.
Regardless, back to the ATV.
The driver gunned it!
And as he arrived (barely) safely on the other side of the highway I realized that the ATV was minus a dog.
Here is the actual road (not during the actual moment obviously) – with very professional exhibit markers for you.
There was still throngs of traffic coming and a very stunned looking dog. Beautiful older collie with a worn bandana.
What to do?
GET THE DOG!
I got out of my car, slowly (as slowly as one can while an animal is in danger of being hit) I approached the pupper and grabbed onto it’s collar.
Across the highway I could hear the passenger, who, evidently was the owner, cursing out the driver in a very big way.
He couldn’t cross to me but he did entertain me as I heard sentences like: “You stupid fucking asshole!” and “What a stupid idiot!”
I just nodded in agreement and asked the dog if it was okay.
It didn’t answer – just panted and sat looking at me a little stunned.
Finally the owner was able to come to the middle and thanked me and that’s when the gravity of the situation sort of kicked in.
I remember getting into my car. I remember shaking uncontrollably and I remember making the turn then realizing I didn’t have my seat belt on.
I made it home safely.
I always like to think I’d react a certain way in different situations – but always suspected I might freeze due to my anxiety.
I was happy I hadn’t frozen. Because I never could have erased the image of that sweet dog being hit by a car on that highway.
Just as I’ll never be able to look at a blue gas can now without thinking of a hooker.
Posted on September 20, 2019, in Gratitude, Humor, Pets, Uncategorized and tagged Dangerous Highways, Hitchhikers, Hookers, humor, Pets. Bookmark the permalink. Leave a comment.
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