I donned a white dress I haven’t worn in a very long time. Since last Summer I believe?
Went to work.
Checked out the chair. Chair was not an unsub. (For those of you that don’t watch Criminal Minds – first of all, “SHAME ON YOU!” Secondly, it means unknown subject.)
I madly rushed about my day and each time I sat, OUCH!
I checked the lace in my dress. Oh, this was the dress. (Looks better on me than flayed out on my bed.)
I was brought up as a lady – so I had these very delicate panties/slip type thingys underneath said dress.
They’re large, I’m slender. They work as a slip.
So then I start inspecting THEM!
Half a day in at work I can’t take it anymore and actually found a private moment to ‘ladylike reach my hand up to my arse.”
(You’ll never read that in any Bronte novel)
And … What do I find?
Last time I washed the dress must have been with Nic’s work shirt – WITH name tag attached.
I peeled it off and announced my discomfort. Because, we all know, I do SO well with editing.
“Nic was seriously a pain in my ass today!!!!”
I have since confronted him – laughed with him and he even allowed these selfies. (This is rare – it’s like Big Foot accepting a photo op!) I even plastered his tag onto his forehead.
I look at it as a ‘thank you’ for doing his laundry.
He wore the tag well … He braved the photo storm. I shall forgive him this dress intrusion.
But, today, yes – he was a PAIN IN MY ASS!!!!!!
Sitting on the couch with an amazing view of a pool – yellow and pink flowers, a dog by the screen door. And ever so missing my own home.
Only two more sleeps until I’m in my bed. Hopefully Butters will adjust quickly to me being home after over a month and sleep beside me.
You’ve got to see this picture. When my son sent it to me, I thought she had been bitten by something! But no, she was merely licking her lips.
The good thing is – while I’ve been here, I’ve come out of my social anxiety shell quite a bit.
After bonding with the sweet couple who doggy sitted Meesha (my moms pup) while I was at work, I truly made two amazing new friends.
I was then invited next door.
Gorgeous home, it’s always reminded me in some way of a Roman colosseum.
I went – and we connected.
The other night they mentioned I can come and see the ducks that visit their pool and their tortoises daily ‘outside’ time.
But first – here’s pics from my inaugural visit.
Yeah, so that’s me with the Rat Pack.
And here’s the inside of a Saleen Mustang – 2007 – one of only 60 made, and the only one supercharged. OH! And a little video.
Here’s me revving her up!
So after a lot of chatting and bonding – I kept visiting.
Back to the ducks.
Weird thing is – I was on the couch yesterday and guess who came to visit?
Bonkers! I’ve never seen a duck in my parents pool before!
And yes, another video.
So, after the duck at my temporary home, I visited the neighbor’s.
And there they were.
Now onto the shelled critters.
So, I went from being a hermit to a woman willing to put herself out there and make new friends.
I went from someone scared of change – and having panic attacks daily, to a woman thinking of others.
I have grown during this distressing time.
And, my parents home is clean, Very clean … Because, when she gets home, I want her to exhale.
And I need to too.
First of all, happy Mother’s Day to all those who mother. Whether it be their own child, another’s child – a fur baby. Happy Mother’s Day also to the truly single dads out there.
I spent today without my mother as she’s still in England.
I’m still house sitting.
My son arrived after noon and I was SO glad to see him.
He made a collage for me of notes I’ve left for him over the years, some over 7 years old.
I also received the traditional ‘hastily made card’.
But what meant so much more was him just showing up.
We went and ate Mexican food locally and then grabbed some chocolate canollis from the restaurant next door.
The canolli place had a very sad ‘grabby’ machine. It was out of order, but beyond that, had a very sad selection of ungrabbed prizes.
We went to the local bar/gambling establishment after that for Nic to experience. He’s never been in there. I, however, since we lived here years ago have. We stayed maybe 10 minutes and, $50 later.
It was kind of cool – but in a dysfunctional odd sort of way.
He’s my baby. Very strange being in an adult environment with him, but very fun seeing him get carded and then ask for a water. LOL!
We came back to my parents home and ate the conollis. We watched Britains got talent on YouTube and we shared things.
How we were feeling – how life was going – where we wanted to be.
And I was so glad he was with me.
Thing is, I’ve been having DAILY panic/anxiety attacks daily now.
Thing is, I didn’t have one with him here.
I want to go home.
But, I also want to be here for my mother in her time of need.
I am physically, mentally, and definitely emotionally losing it.
And not wanting to add to my moms plate.
I need to see my cardiologist too.
Oh! That’s another thing. I found out that if you donate your body to science, your cremation is free – and whatever is left of you is returned to your loved one.
I’m considering this.
So – bittersweet. Today was bittersweet, but I was very glad to have a mother to say ‘Happy Mothers Day’ to, and a son that showed up.
As Alice would say.
It’s almost 3 weeks since I left my home. And I still feel like a dog turning in circles and not able to lay down.
That got me to thinking about the homeless – the people who don’t have shelter to exhale in. Bouncing and bouncing from place to place. I mean, if I feel this way in my parents home – then … Gawd.
It makes me so sad.
The important thing is I have my Teddy. My bear. I think I understand the homeless with their carts. Having things that are familiar to you is so important. THEN I start thinking about people relocated due to fire or flood and all of their possessions gone. Just gone. Then I appreciate Facebook more. I lost a lot of photos in my divorce. But, Facebook is an eternal photo album and also, since they started memories, a diary.
I’ve also taken a lot of photos.
Clearly, it’s a ‘tad’ windy.
Bottom line, it sucks not to be home. But I’m glad to fill in for my mum and dad that also want to be home.
And, am enjoying the pets, even if it means many scratches. ;)
It’s been a while since I’ve written and I’ve felt the tug and ache of not doing so.
We have family matters going on that, let’s just say, have me covering for my mum at her house – and having my son take the reins at our home.
I’ve been here … 10 days? I feel sometimes like I’m on an island and have forgotten to carve notches into a tree to track time.
First and foremost, I miss my son, I miss my dog, I miss ‘my’ routine.
But, what I’m doing is necessary and above ‘me’ and I am glad to do it.
So let’s get to the ‘Pros’ of being here eh? Keeping the chin up and all that!
Wait – no – first, the ‘Adjusting to the routine’ Cons. Which aren’t really ‘cons’ but, just stuff that I wasn’t mentally or physically prepared for.
Stairs. (And trust me, with C.O.P.D and a heart condition, this is either majorly helping, or killing me lol!)
2 Litter boxes
Turning over and picking up dog
Add to that work in the middle and adjusting to new meds.
OH! And two homes worth of food. $$$
Here’s my horrible view from the room I’m now sleeping in:
And here is the awful view from the couch😉
And as for those stairs? While I can’t breathe going up them, coming down them affords me this view:
Have I mentioned the pool?
I actually told my laundry lady I wouldn’t be there for a few weeks – she worries about her ‘regulars’ (gawd, I feel like a ‘John’)
So, I am using laundry thingies that play a tune when the cycle is done.
I do have ONE major issue with the washer …
(Other than it looks like something yawning with its eyes closed) … Steelers magnets!!!!! STEELERS! As a Packers fan, it feels like blasphemy every time I use it.
Other than all of this – today, I accomplished much.
Cleaned – went over the river to visit my son and dog – put in a prescription and shopped for food.
I even got to talk to my mum this morning.
Now, I shall introduce you to the little clan I’m keeping.
Miss you all and I’ll write more when I can.