Category Archives: Uncategorized
“Honey if I get restless
Baby you’re not that kind”
Turns out – I’m a very restless person. I took an ENTIRE day off from work to just BE.
To be a human being instead of a human doing‘ and … survey says …
I got bored.
It didn’t pan out. (Miner joke)
Speaking of … here’s us FINDING gold.
Well, I wasn’t the entire time.
I got up at 5 with my honey and gave him a lunch I had made for him the previous night.
Then, I had the luxury of ‘sleeping in’. I am not one to usually be able to sleep after waking, but after countless nights of nightmares and tossing and turning, I slept. I slept hard. It was scrumptious.
That Saturday had consisted of us panning pay dirt AND me braving Karaoke!
I was awful. And Christopher didn’t know the song – thus the handing over the mic.
But, awful in a way that you were proud you displayed yourself and lived through it.
I DO warn you, I can NOT sing. So, go there with that knowledge.
AND stepped off of the stage and got a full applause because I just DID IT and knew I was awful but kept going and kept dancing and didn’t care. lol! (Thought of you Betty – and how much you’d have given anything to be alive and sing badly)
I can sing in the shower and the car. 😉
Next morning, I was so tired. We stayed up way past our bedtimes after being home and he sang (better than I ever will) and played guitar (better than I’ll ever try to). But, I got up, and got hiking. Feels SO good to be out there. Especially good to share it with someone I love.
Here’s a few pics, and honestly, they’re getting less and less the more we go because I’m focusing on us and not capturing ‘us’.
After yesterday’s hike, we went to a buffet and I gorged myself into having what I call a ‘food baby’ lol.
I’m thin – when I ‘gorge’ I look like a tick. Not THAT thin, ‘healthy’ but, ‘need to quit eating buffets or my existing clothes will not fit and I can’t afford a new wardrobe’ We then went home and napped – because – Walking Dead premiere!!!!!!!
The nap was more delicious than the food! We both slept, full as could be and spent! Woke refreshed and ready to go back to bed if that makes any sense.
Bottom line, I had an amazing weekend and it’s always hard to say ‘bye for now’.
I wished, at some point today, between horror movies, snacks and washing the dog that I was hiking with my guy.
I remembered the moment he put his arm around my waist while we were walking, I remember going off into another direction of our path because something interested me.
AND! Bonus. Here’s the gold we found, plus an amazing sunset that I didn’t get around to posting.
Overall, honestly? One of the best weekends of my life. I not only over-indulged, but completely under-indulged and I have decided, life is amazing. Period. I could be out in a shack and chopping wood and panning for gold and singing AWFULLY forever lol!
“And nobody told us
‘Cause nobody showed us
And now it’s up to us babe
I think we can make it”
My love is currently hiking the Warner section of the Pacific Crest Trail. Me? I had plans with my mum to hike a route previously done with him to show her a mine hole. Yeah, okay, probably a better word for it, but that’s what I’m calling it.
I woke up to his photo of where they slept last night.
Yeah, OK hearty hiker and Naked and Afraid contender. I do NOT want to dig a hole to um, ‘do my business’ and what the heck would be crawling off that rock in the night? I’m just jealous lol. But, also kinda serious. Would love to camp anywhere if there was at least the amenities of a toilet and running water. Whimp right? I don’t need much. But, splashing water on my face, brushing my teeth and hair with a mirror is the last of the vanity things I care about.
SO! Mum and I were going hiking. I wanted to show her an easy hike that culminated in a mine shaft. (AKA: Mine hole. lol)
I forgot that my tiny car was a tiny car and once we got to the turn off I was a little worried about making it to the spot to park. Guess how I knew we were there?
The C+A I left behind when I went last. Can’t believe it was still there! Had to park carefully, a lot of soft sand. (Whole other story, but first time I came out to my guys house, had to have them tow me due to THEIR soft sand.)
Parked and ready to go! I totally knew where to start.
What I didn’t factor in was that when hiking with my gold mining guy, a hike takes 10 times longer due to “See that?” “Do you see this vein?” And constant and adorable samples taken.
As for my mum and I? We just hiked. So … got thrown a little off course.
Oh! And I now have a new rule! If you aren’t seeing Burro shit on your hike, you have no business going that route! (IE: the fucking mountain we went up last hike.)
So, clearly on the right path here. LOL.
We got to a point when we could circle back, but, didn’t seem right. I mean, when my honey and I went, it was hours … so we kept going. (I was not factoring in the geological stops and lessons and samples.)
We kept going to the point we found ourselves in what we labeled a ‘residential area’. Very over grown, and lots of nooks and crannies, we went back.
My mum has now multiple times asked me, “Do you know where you’re going?” Yes, I knew. But, wasn’t entirely sure how lol. I was looking for that ‘mine hole’. We tracked back – we took other routes – because, I was CERTAIN the first time my guy and I went out, we walked FOREVER. We had not.
We eventually found a place I thought was my original grotto, and was certain we were on the right path.
Um, Was NOT original grotto. Spoiler alert – we found that later.
We were having too much fun to care. Just being out there – together.
We tracked back a bit and decided that we should mount a mountain to get to the trail we were looking for.
Found it. BUT! unfortunately, passed the mine hole in doing so.
This happened instead.
First time my guy and I did this route, there was ONLY the boat. My mum said, “There’s a car?”
Sure was – and apparently an old police car.
The closer we got, I dug into my backpack for my knife and pepper spray. The car was tagged with graffiti on the hood and I have NO clue how it got there in such a short time since my last hike there. This became more of a concern when we passed it and it had clothes inside. (My mums words, “Hope there isn’t a body in there” didn’t go unnoticed. I was more concerned with a walking talking one.)
Wanted to take a pic of the inside of the car, but honestly had that ‘gut feeling’ we needed to keep moving on. Someone was obviously living in that car. We had my mum’s steel toed hiking boots and my knife and pepper spray.
Wind was blowing so I would have been like, “Keep kicking mum! Keep kicking! I’ll slice him and when the wind dies down spray him.” Dramarama imagination.
We pass the car and keep going … all the way home.
And, for a joke, here is me finding THE golden nugget!
Sent that to my guy lol! The golden nugget of today was actually getting to spend one on one time with my mum and that exceeded the hike. So great to go out. So great to be with her. So great, ANY day to wake up and get to do anything.
I haven’t mused from the laundromat for a while – and that’s been odd. My weekends have been filled, to my delight.
When I DO go, I do try to be there when my laundry lady is there also. She told me I was missed.
I believe her, because I miss her too. The routine – the ‘regulars’. But I wouldn’t trade another Sunday there for what I have now.
I’ll start with this, I’ve been so happy lately that even my son, (who has moved again across country and who I haven’t seen since January 6th of this year) has commented on it.
Keep in mind, our chats have been minimal and our communications brief. So, it’s a pretty big deal that he sees a change in me.
My heart is more peaceful, my anxiety lessened. I smile more – I treasure moments no matter how fleeting. I’ve been exploring, forcing myself out of my comfort zone. Doing things to make someone else happy and in making the effort, found myself happier too.
Life has taken a turn and whether it’s for a reason, a season or a lifetime – I’m just very glad it happened.
And yet, I still find myself waiting for the ‘other shoe to drop’.
As if I’m not worthy of a happy ending. Or, just so used to not expecting one that the possibility is absurd.
I think the more I let go and the more I trust that I can pinch myself and not wake up, the less I’ll be waiting for things to go wrong.
I’m still also painfully aware at how brief and unpredictable life can be.
I’ll be participating in a 3K walk to benefit my sweet friend with stage 4 cancer on Saturday. There isn’t a day that goes by that I do not think of her.
Every visit is cherished.
I find myself wanting to curl up next to her and just … be. Of course, it hurts her too much to move or be bumped or even to hug. So, her toes are mine. I gently rub her feet in some attempt to offer comfort where I know I can’t.
I think I’ve been living for her lately too.
Pushing myself with the ever-present thought, ‘She would LOVE to be able to do this!’ I’m not just talking about adventures. It’s the little things like, getting out of bed, standing in the shower, dressing myself. Standing in line at a store! (I WILL give you the lecture if I hear you complain you know – “You realize there are some people who would give ANYTHING to be in this line?!”)
I especially thought of her when it was finally cool enough to join the man who has my heart in the desert. She would have given anything to sit where I sat after navigating a climb. She would have been in just as much awe of the view as I was and welcoming the sweet sleepiness that was sure to follow that night.
So there it is.
My life at the moment.
Filled with hope and also with impending sadness.
Certainty and uncertainty.
Immense joy knowing that I am capable of such love now and willing to offer it with no expectations.
To them both.
Knowing that losing either of them is going to break my heart. And yet, knowing them for however long I have makes it most definitely worth it.
It’s been weeks since ‘the flood’ and weeks since I’ve written.
Today I’m rushing laundry as a handyman is to meet me at my disheveled home @ 9 a.m.
Of course, the laundromat did not open early today as Murphy’s law would have it.
‘Handyman’ is going to ‘look’ at the damage and other repairs that I’ve requested so many times.
If one more person looks and does not DO – I’m going to have to put my foot down.
I say that, but I’m not confrontational.
I did however, stand up for Muslims and others while stuck outside listening to Glaucoma man rant and rave.
A rare photo of him – he’s the one in the Hawaiian shirt.
The other gentleman was also a source of anger for Glaucoma man as he was let in before us.
I don’t care, but jeez did HE take it personally. I told him to calm down as Laundry Lady came to unlock the front door. She didn’t need any of his venom.
Other than laundry and handymen and my interactions here – life has been … Different lately.
Work is changing – two of the original owners are leaving to enjoy their lives together and travel. They will be missed.
I turned 48 and decided that I, too, needed to make some changes.
That’s been difficult. Whenever there are others involved it’s a painful process.
But as I think of my friend in the hospital and I hear news of people my age suddenly passing of late – it’s very clear to me that none of us are promised tomorrow and it’s time to start soaking up each day.
I’m seeking peace for myself. And while I feel selfish doing so, no one else is going to find that for me.
Clearly no handyman – they’ll just keep coming around and ‘looking’ at damage and making appointments to return some day.
Happy Mother’s Day to all Mama’s, Single Dads, Grandparents and Fur Baby Moms.
I’m beginning my day at the laundromat (obviously) and guess who is here?
I haven’t seen him in months.
Now let’s get down to the wonderful (there is no sarcasm font) week I have had.
Monday I woke to an extra sound in the house.
A hissing of sorts. I quickly concluded that it probably wasn’t a rattle snake. I mean, they’re not called ‘hissing snakes’ are they?
The more my senses woke up with me, the more I knew what the noise was.
I leaped out of bed and followed the sound.
Sure enough, my main bathroom was under at least an ankle depth of water.
I tried to turn off the water at the toilet, but calcium build up would not allow that.
So, outside I went to the main.
I returned inside and assessed the situation.
FUN FACT: Rugs usually don’t reflect when photographed – unless they’re completely under water.
Completely full garbage can – sitting in the ankle deep water (that a lotion bottle lid floating on top FYI.)
Of course it also reached outside.
My only reprieve (again, REALLY need sarcasm font) is that the majority of the water had found it’s way into my air conditioner vent. *sigh*
Funny thing about suddenly not having indoor plumbing or running water is:
a) I immediately wanted to go to the bathroom and
b) Was suddenly very thirsty for a glass of water. Never mind that I had juice in the fridge.
All of this at 6 a.m. All of this on the morning of a day I REALLY needed to be at work.
BUT! Life had other plans, as it usually does.
I called property management and my boss and spent the next hour fielding calls from various workmen and companies.
Ran to the store to buy bottled water so I could at least brush my teeth and give my freaked out pup fresh hydration.
Eventually the cavalry arrived and I had six – SIX men in my house (none of whom were the plumber.)
A handy man, two restoration men, my maintenance property manager and an A/C guy. Wait, that’s only five. Gawd only knows who the sixth man was.
Machines began appearing, trucks revved outside, Butters was losing her mind.
The crowd started to dwindle and then the plumber showed.
He managed to slither in between the restoration equipment and fix the leak.
The aftermath …
Base boards gone …
Oh, there they are.
Which, I later had some fun with. That’s me doing the ‘human centipede’ poster reenactment. (Yes, I have a shirt on – it was a flesh colored tank.)
And, now here’s a little video for you.
FYI: I did make it into work, after a quick shower. It made for a long day.
The machines are STILL running – which renders my shampoo and conditioner HOT in the bottle – and taking a shower feels like mission impossible on the surface of the sun.
Everytime I enter the zipped area I have visions of toasters falling into bathtubs. That may have something to do with the light headed feeling of the shower/sauna.
Tomorrow may be the day all equipment exits my home – in the mean time, poor Butters probably should have been on Prozac.
We’re almost there Butters, we’re almost there.