Category Archives: Gratitude
Morning Rain
It’s raining in the desert.
It sprinkled last night – and my son wrote this on his Facebook status:
“If tofu absorbs the flavor of what ever its cooked with, than Im going to cook it in the rain and if it tastes as half as good as it smells, Im going to dine on the gods food ;D”
It does smell amazing out there! And I love the thunder …
I sat outside while it was gently sprinkling and sipped my coffee and had such a HUGE wave of gratitude wash over me.
I was pondering recent events and appreciating the scenery and for a sudden second, KNEW all of my needs were, and would be met.
I was aware in one moment of time of how beautiful life is, how blessed I am for my friends and family and that everything is going to be alright.
Little God whisper? Maybe. Seems like a great way to start the day to me!
Good morning world! 
Pity Party Permit approved! (Balloon animal artists need not apply …)
I am always grateful for what I have, I keep my detective hat handy for silver lining searching and usually feel happy and serene. I do! But after a string of bad luck, I find myself putting pressure on myself to keep my chin so far up it’s affecting me physically.
I have had a headache for three flipping days!
I don’t get headaches. But this one is turning my stomach and pinching my neck and perching in my cranium like a huge fat scratching, pecking rooster.
I already have a heart condition – my sinus node decides at time of rest to lie to my heart and tell it I’m actually jogging. (How my heart believes this, as I don’t jog, is beyond me).
Minor exertion results in feeling like I ran a marathon, and stressful situations replace my human heart with that of a captured sparrow.
So I’ve been smiling (yeah, sometimes grimacing) and counting my blessings and keeping the faith versus letting the fear in, but my body is not on the same page.
I know I’m not faking my positive attitude, so why then is my body not following?!
Just a few days ago, I actually felt so unwell I was a little concerned I might not see morning.
Not being dramatic – I was truly scared as my heart raced and my chest squeezed.
The thing about having a chronic condition is you get to know what your ‘normal’ feels like. So when a symptom rears its head that doesn’t fall into that norm, it’s quite frightening. I had already taken my medicine and I do not have insurance, so a trip to the ER was not in the cards.
I prayed, I pet my dog, I did my relaxation breathing – anything for some relief.
And I saw morning.
(Good thing I cleared that up for you eh? No one could have guessed that I made it through the night since I’m POSTING! lol).
I got to thinking though, ‘am I setting too high of a standard for myself’?
Why can’t I vent or have a mini-breakdown without feeling like I’m no longer a positive, grateful person?
I Googled crying. I learned that tears remove toxins. Crying can elevate your mood (apparently we have a manganese level and if it’s too high, crying helps lower it. Low manganese level = good). Crying lowers stress.
I’m giving myself permission to throw my body a mini-pity party from time to time.
Not a huge bash, not a wallow in it all-nighter – but a self time-out, acknowledging that maybe sometimes my body needs to ‘let it all out’.
I don’t cry easily – so maybe I can hire an arm pincher instead of a face painter?
Oh, and let there be cake! 🙂
Blessings in disguise?
It’s been quite a week. After my son had an accident last night in my new-to-me car I stayed calm. He was OK. Thank God. Car, not so much.
I got to thinking, in a brief moment of pity, why is it that some people who don’t appear to be kind, that don’t appear to be of service and that don’t appear to be grateful, end up with wealth and success etc.
Then I reminded myself to keep my eyes on my own paper. Money does not bring happiness. And I have no idea if those people are actually happy.
Who is to say that this added financial burden and temporary worry about transportation (the car is undriveable) is NOT a blessing?
What if … what if he was meant to be hurt in the incident, but was not. What if this accident was meant to scare him enough to avoid a possible event in the future?
Hmmm.
I like that.
I never get upset when I’m ‘stuck’ behind someone on the road. Perhaps I’m not meant to be 10 seconds ahead of where I am. If I forget something in the house, and end up leaving later than I meant to, who’s to say that didn’t save my life?
You never know.
When adversity hits – my blessings come crawling out of the woodwork. I had flowers on my desk this morning, a friend brought me to work and another friend took me home.
I am wealthy. Because I have an abundance of people who are amazing in my life.
I am successful. Because I have healthy relationships, a positive attitude and a life I appreciate.
No current problem I have is insurmountable. There are many, many souls on this Earth right now enduring horrific suffering with seemingly no way out.
So who would I be to sit in pity because I’m making car payments on a vehicle I can’t currently drive – or because the already thinly stretched house budget will probably be stretched transparent when my insurance goes up? Who would I be to not be grateful for what I DO have.
I don’t want to know. I am glad to be me.
“There are no bad days!” (breathe, repeat, breathe, repeat!)
I am a firm believer that if I wake up, it’s already a great day!
A day is what you make of it. However, sometimes, no matter how hard you try, other people and/or events can suck the positive energy right out of you.
As much as happiness is contagious, so is tension and frustration.
My day started out almost comically when my coffee maker decided it was time to head to the giant coffee bean in the sky. I guess even appliances evacuate themselves in an undignified manner in their final moments, as my counter and kitchen floor can attest to.
Twice I mopped up the contents of the gasping machine (the second time after I believed I had ‘fixed’ it).
No worries. I’ll buy instant coffee when I get groceries tomorrow (I told myself) and besides, how blessed am I to even get to go grocery shopping?? (I told myself).
Off to work.
I love what I do. I do it well. I even went in early to put up some fun October decor!
Went downhill from there. At one point, I’m pretty sure even the freshly hung inflatable spider and bat wanted to turn the fishing line they’re suspended from into a noose.
This will be at least the third post I mention my adversity to confrontation. I found myself in a very uncomfortable situation without the words or whereabouts to defend myself today.
The source of this uncomfortable situation repeatedly scurries off and spins a tale devoid of facts in my favor.
Now, while I have a lot of faith, fear does creep in from time to time. I live paycheck to paycheck. I work my arse off at a full-time job and a part-time weekend job and I DO fear losing them.
It was only 2 years ago that I was very near to being homeless and had next to nothing in the pantry.
I have gratitude. For breathing, having shelter, utilities and food.
I’d really like to keep those things.
So I think this particular ‘concern’ (ok, yeah, it’s an outright fear) is sort of healthy. I mean, I don’t spend every waking moment thinking ‘oh my God – what if I lose my job!’, but when things get hairy, I worry.
If a door is going to close, it would be great to have a heads up. Because it’s not me I’m worried about – it’s being able to provide the necessities for my little family. ♥
But we don’t get a ‘heads up’, do we? Life doesn’t work that way. (Cue George Michael, “Gotta have faith…” thanks George, can I borrow your coffee maker while we’re at it?)
So I drive home. I’m driving and trying oh so hard to shake off the fear. Trying to appreciate the scenery, trying to cheer up and I’m remembering that God hasn’t let me down yet.
I pull up to the fence. And the front door opens. Out pokes my son’s head, he smiles and waves. The dog wiggles out the door and stands at the fence wagging her tail.
And I KNOW today is not a bad day. They’re in it.
Life is so very beautiful. I’m so glad I was invited.
Post Script – I’m about to hit ‘publish’ and my son calls – he’s ok, but my car is not. BREATHE, BREATHE, BREATHE. 😦
Happy and I know it (still clapping my little blog hands)
I am happy. I am off the hedonic treadmill and go to lengths to be sure I don’t visit that apparatus again!
I wondered today, if I asked everyone to take a week to come up with 3 things that make them happy, what would they be?
That in mind, I thought I should do the exercise first and found there was no way in heck there were just going to be three things!
This will be part 1 of ‘Happy and I know it’ because there’s just so much to say!
I brainstormed and these things came flowing out first:
The unexpected, scents, laughter, LOVE, giving, harmony, nature, imagination, innocence, music, animals, simplicity, synergy, absence of ego, rhythm, anticipation. I added: Faith, sparrows, having ‘enough’, beautiful actions, learning, kindness, compassion, gratitude.
In no particular order – a little on a some of the big ones for me.
Laughter. I’m talking the real deal – eyes closed, authentic, almost no sound coming out laugher. Side splitting, tears in my eyes, can barely breathe laughter. And if you’re laughing, I’m laughing. SO contagious. My son makes me laugh at least once every single day.
Imagination. From reading to movies, dreams and writing – expressing myself creatively or losing myself in someone elses creativity – that’s a big one for me.
Love. Love for a child, love for friends – loving complete strangers and ok, that first kiss and having butterflies in the tummy. This has to be my number one. Love is absolutely, I believe, what ‘it’ is all about. I’ll never forget J.K. Rowling telling Oprah how she thought of the passengers on one of the 9/11 flights – how they KNEW they were going to die, and the last thing they wanted to do was reach their loved one and just get to tell them “I love you”. Powerful. Truly powerful. They weren’t thinking about work, or their cars or their jewelry. It all came down to love.
Gratitude. Oh am I ever grateful! For everything I have, for everything I don’t have. I’m grateful to have ‘enough’. I don’t want more than that. I’m grateful for every breath, every moment, everything. I say ‘thank you’ every night. I get down on my knees, squeeze my eyes tight and bow my head and say ‘THANK YOU!!!’.
Compassion and kindness. I love seeing these in others and strive to practice them myself. Being of service to each other is so important. Forgetting ourselves, getting lost in bringing joy to others results in absence of ego.
Scents. Wow. We have the obvious – rain, fresh-cut grass – puppy breath, bacon cooking (or is that just me?). Some of my favorite scents though are attached to memories. I keep a bottle of mint sauce (that reminds me of tea time and a blue checkered table-cloth) in the fridge, just for an occasional sniff.
My Nannie’s green house where she grew tomato plants. I had recurring dreams of that smell … the plants mixed with the warm wooden planked floor and the soil. I could sit in there and just breathe that in all day long.
I love the soap she uses too – and the smell of her bed sheets after they were hand washed and line dried. Dreamy. ^_^
Anticipation. I LOVE being ‘next’ in line. I love Christmas Eve. I love that feeling BEFORE an upcoming event. I think this is because there’s still that delicious excitement buzzing in the air. It hasn’t happened yet – it’s not over. I love, love, love looking forward to something.
Music. Opera, classical symphonies, every decade, every genre, music makes me so very happy. Andrea Bocelli brings me to tears, Freddie Mercury’s voice elicits goosebumps. Music makes my heart and soul leap! And Theres nothing like a live performance, love that throb you can feel in your chest from the speakers!
Being deliciously tired is another thing that makes me happy, and I’m feeling that now. So I’ll wrap this up with a couple of quotes that I didn’t come up with.
“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.”
― Dalai Lama XIV
“By not seeking your own happiness, you find it”.
— Unknown (to me at this moment … I’m seriously tired lol)
Tired, but HAPPY!
Debauchery Soup 
