Like pulling teeth … (Or, ‘don’t go into the light’).


I had never given the term ‘like pulling teeth’ much thought until yesterday.  I think I equated it with having to do something difficult due to the task not being pleasant.

I no longer think that.

Yesterday I got the tooth that was the root (ha!) of my mouth problems pulled!  YAY!  It only took 2 years of putting off, saving up for and bitching about.  But it’s out now.

Let’s talk about that.

I brought a friend, or rather, a friend brought me.  I was playing it pretty cool all day until it was time to leave for my appointment, at which time I started getting silly and nervous. 

I’ve never had a tooth pulled while I was awake.  And the ‘Queen of Googling’ wasn’t touching that with a 100 ft pole.  Fear of the unknown is pretty bad, but fear of online tooth extractions trumped the unknown.  Hell no was I going to subject myself to such images … add my imagination to a little information and there is no way on this green earth my arse would have gone to the oral surgeon.  Nope.

I got in the truck.

Some small talk, some laughs.  We arrive. 

Crap.

Funnily enough, I knew the receptionist.  We both gave each other a ‘I know you from somewhere’ eyebrow and we figured out from where.  A bank we both used to work for. 

Nice.  I had two friends with me now. 

The doctor (do you call dentists that?) was running late.  We ended up waiting almost an hour in the reception area.  Enough time to render me deer like – ready to gallop off at the crunch of a leaf. 

deer

My turn.

Okay.  I can DO this.  Besides, my friend has better things to do and has waited with me – it had better not be for nought!

I’m in the chair and I’ll fast forward to the actual procedure, because there was lots of nervous chit-chat in between sitting in said chair, and procedure.

The shots.  I have to admit – this guy was good.  No matter how you stick a needle into someones mouth, it’s going to smart a little.  But, he was quite gentle.  Had a knack.  Guess if you’re going to have ‘Surgeon’ next to your name, you’d better have earned it.  Thumbs up for his hypodermic skills. 

So I’m numb now – and of course, we have to test this out.  Oh, I should mention, I’m not going to be naming any instruments.  I have no idea what he put in my mouth. (hey now!)

I did not want to psych myself out by having a peek at sharp scary objects or grabby looking gripping things. 

So he’s pushing something into my broken tooth.  Nope don’t feel it.

Hey – this is going alright!  I can do this! 

Then he said: Because it’s an upper side/back tooth, it’s actually positioned by your sinuses.  If there’s a hole afterward, I’ll repair it the best I can.

Wait, WHAT?!?!

startleddeer

I almost threw up.  The idea of a ‘sinus hole’ for Gawd sake! 

Believe me when I say – if my friend wasn’t sitting in that waiting room, I would have left the building.  I would have saved up more money and insisted on being asleep for the procedure.  I did not want to witness the discovery of any ‘sinus hole’.

But I did have a friend sitting in the waiting room.  And I was not going to see her until my mouth was 1 tooth less.

I’m ready.

Back to that term – ‘Like pulling teeth’.  Yeah.  Ummm ….  I was told to expect ‘pressure’.  Pressure.  Press-ure.

To me, that’s like someone poking me in the cheek or arm.  Or pushing down on me. 

Not, in any of the ‘pressure’ examples I was conjuring, was there a version where my entire head was bounced and yanked around by the tooth!

Holy COW!  This pulling teeth deal is a violent thing!  Those puppies are IN there. 

I didn’t realize how hard someone has to pull to remove a tooth!  How do they just come popping out during a fight in the movies?   (I think I would have rather the dentist just used a left hook)

There are noises that accompany the yanking.  Noises that apparently only I can hear.  (He told me this).

Cracking, breaking, crunching sounds. 

And just when I thought  I couldn’t bear anymore, it was over. 

No sinus hole either.

I left with a cheek full of gauze, minus 1 tooth and $200 lighter.  Oh, and also came out with a little bump on my head – from hitting that light thingy above the chair while getting up.  What a nice way to end the session – I wanted to giggle, but couldn’t really open my mouth.  I think that smack on the head was the most painful part of the whole visit.

If you must have a tooth pulled, just go!  Get it over with.  You’ll be okay. Just watch out for the light.

Do NOT go into the light.

intolight

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About debaucherysoup

I've traveled 4 continents, affording me experiences and adventures to last a lifetime. Most important was the exposure to other cultures, beliefs and lifestyles. I'm also mom to one of the most amazing human beings I know.

Posted on March 12, 2013, in Uncategorized and tagged , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 1 Comment.

  1. Ha ha ha ha aha!!! Perfect and clever ending to the story!!! Im gonna go get some more teeth pulled now…you make it so funnn! Glad though, seriously for you that it’s done!!

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