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The Birth of Debauchery Soup – and how Fate reared its head to remind me

I was wide-eyed today.

Nothing much shocks me.  Nothing much disturbs me (which is really sorta sad) , nothing much surprises me  – and I cut my eyes at anything online with a very ‘going to check Snopes’ eye.

So – I live in the desert.  That much has been offered up.  I will not share where.

But, the one time of the year that the temperature is PERFECT, we have an obscene wind.  A wind that whips through yards, blows patio furniture into pools – roof parts into neighbors yards etc.

My shed has taken this wind – and the wind has taken its toll.


Here’s the thing.

The shed used to be full.

I told my landlady that it was being destroyed bit by bit every strong wind we had.

It got to the point that each rain, my ‘things’ were being destroyed.

Items were ruined.  Suitcases, Books (yeah, real ones, not the ones on nook – I had Lady Bird and Mr. Men books in there – 1st edition)

ANYWAY – taking the high road – and knowing these are FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS, I digress.

My landlady is sending someone out to remove the shed of death.  Because, let’s face it, one more piece flys, and someone can be decapitated or property can be MAJORLY damaged!

She will have someone come out and dismantle the ‘death shed’.

I had my family (son and fiance) put shed items on the patio today – yesterday, bless his heart, my honey emptied the shed, but we were lookin’ like the neighbors with our shite out in the yard.

Going through it, I tossed tapes, yeah, TAPES, of music that I LOVED, salvaged photos of my son that had not been water drenched.

Many cards that mean nothing to me anymore and just ‘stuff’ I can live without.

During this, I found something very meaningful.

Stay with me – I know this is long.

Debauchery Soup.


So, guess what?

Back in the day, in Professor Mooney’s class, we had to make 20 copies of what we wrote for the creative writing class.

It was passed out, anonymously, and our fellow classmates commented on it.

After Jim and I reconnected, I searched for a long time for ‘Purple Haze’ – the piece I wrote in college that began our collaboration on a comic.

We had shared a creative writing class.

(Commented on our writing in ink.)

I still have multiple copies of other writings, with comments, in my ‘memory box’.

But, I could not, for the LIFE of me, find my piece, ‘Purple Haze’.

And, yeah, I know what you’re thinking.   But, I (sorry) had no knowledge at that time of Mr. Hendrix.

My dad went to New York on a business trip, and I asked him in my youthful ignorance, to bring me back something from ‘Bloomingdale’s’.

I got a neon phone.

And, it cast a purple haze on my room at night – it glowed pink during daytime.

It was see through – and amazing.

And inspired … ‘Purple Haze’.

Today, I came home early after collecting my prescriptions and with the need to go through, and clean out the items salvaged from the shed.

Guess what I found?

Too much foreshadowing?


Not only did I find ‘Purple Haze’.

The ONLY existing copy.


The person who commented on it?


Yeah …

I know that handwriting.

The ONLY existing copy of Purple Haze – the predecessor  to the Arnold art ….


was commented on by the one and only …. Jim.  My current fiancée.

We shared that class. And the only copy has HIS handwriting on it.

Much like the picture above survived his Chicago house fire.

SO …. fate?????

And as for the blog name?


This was the actual day that I decided on a name for a book.  After my ‘pill’ paragraph and the comment, ‘soupy’.  How many people HAVE that??  Amazing.

I love that the only copy of Purple Haze has my future husbands handwriting on it – but it has one other persons also.

He did not write ‘Soupy’.

And I’m waiting for confirmation of who did.

And if it’s who I think it is – we have a bigger story.  To be continued ….

Deep thoughts @ ‘too bloody early O’Clock’

SO I was thinking. (Uh-Oh). I’ll begin with why I’m up.  My alarm went off, I blatantly ignored it with a thump to the snooze button, then actually acknowledged the 2nd set of beeps. 

oh crap meme

PANIC!  Oh crap!  It’s 6:33!  I’ve got to wake Nic up!  Get his breakfast!  Get him out of the door in 7 minutes to make the bus!  Okay, if I hurry, I can get ready for work and drive him to school … (yes, he’s 17, get off me, I like our routine, besides, he sleeps like a log and doesn’t hear his alarm).

Oh.  That’s right.  It’s Saturday.  And he’s not even here. 

Ta-da.  I’m up.

I’m not one of those ‘go back to sleep’ types.  Dammit.  So I’m up.

Back to thinking.

I have a book someone loaned me called ‘The Big Book of If’s’.  Thought it would be fun to post one a day on my Facebook page and see what people had to say.

This morning was ‘If you could have God perform one miracle today, what would it be?’

Yesterdays was ‘If you could change one thing about your mother’s life, what would it be?’

Now – I recall every birthday as a girl, blowing out the candles, squeezing my eyes tight and (oh so originally) wishing for a pony. Actually, I wished for a horse.

birthday candles

Never got one – did go on to become quite a good rider in both English and Western.  But I digress.

What if *poof* there was suddenly a horse in the garden? 

When we’re little, we don’t think about the fact that the horse might actually need things.  Like, oh say, food.  Room to roam, medical care, new shoes, accessories, baths, being picked up after, etc. etc.

Had a similar thought when the Power Ball lottery here was up to half a billion dollars.  No, not that I would buy a pony, but about our initial gut response to what we would want, or want to do without considering the side effects. 

If you’re not a greedy, self-centered bastard, which describes no one I know thank goodness – one repeated answer to ‘what would you do if you won the lottery’ is usually ‘I would give a lot of it away, help people’.

Very noble.  Very kind.  Very.  However, (and this is how my mind works) what about the butterfly effect?!

What if you help (with all good intentions) someone out of their tough situation and they were supposed to be going through it? 

I can vouch for the fact that when things were really the darkest, I came out of it stronger, more self-aware, more spiritual and a hell of a lot more grateful. 

I’d have to carefully assess someone’s entire situation before giving them the ‘gift’ of money.  Money doesn’t make everything okay.

Are they working?  Are they trying?  Are they making the best of things? 

Bailing someone out is a lot different from helping someone up.  I’m not saying I wouldn’t be giving money away left and right, because I totally would – I’d just have to take time to know if it was the right thing to do in each situation. 

OK.  Onto the ‘If’. 

Thought long and hard about the mother question.  In some selfish way, I considered a lot of changes I could have wished for her, but then I probably wouldn’t have been born.  We can’t have that!  Good grief.

Even if I wished she knew her value – that could have deleted me right out of the picture.  If she knew her value at a younger age, she may never have slept with my dad!  She might have remained celibate for crying out loud.

Remember the monkeys paw people!! (What is it with the critters?  Butterfly effect, Monkeys paw)


So my answer ended up being ‘that she had her dad longer’.  He passed too soon.  And she has regrets that she didn’t get to say good-bye and they weren’t speaking at the time.   But, then again, who’s to say that didn’t teach her to be sure to tell everyone from that point forward that she loves them while they’re here? 

This is my point.  Everything has a ripple effect.  We may not see it.  We may not understand it.  We may not like it.  But it’s true.

If I hadn’t lived my ‘Debauchery’ bits, well, first, this blog would be called something else.  Secondly, there would be no Nic. 

Reminds me of that song by FUN – the last part:

“My heart is breaking for my sister and the con that she call “love”
When I look into my nephew’s eyes…
Man, you wouldn’t believe the most amazing things that can come from…
Some terrible {lies|nights}…ahhh…”

So we have to be careful what we wish for.  And as for today’s ‘if’.  Could wish the miracle would be ‘no war’.  ‘No sickness’.  But – if there werent’ sickness or disease, how soon until the Earth just spiraled right out of orbit with the intense weight of the mega-population?  We procreate faster than we die these days you know. (I have absolutely no facts to support that, and I’m not going to look it up either).

I shall answer today’s ‘if’ this way. 

‘If you could have God perform one miracle today, what would it be?’

I would ask that he fill everyone with compassion. (That or Serenity, I can NEVER just pick one thing!)

And then I would hope that one of the compassionate people would come by and give me a pony!


Blessings in disguise?


It’s been quite a week.  After my son had an accident last night in my new-to-me car I stayed calm.  He was OK. Thank God.  Car, not so much.

I got to thinking, in a brief moment of pity, why is it that some people who don’t appear to be kind, that don’t appear to be of service and that don’t appear to be grateful, end up with wealth and success etc.

Then I reminded myself to keep my eyes on my own paper.  Money does not bring happiness.  And I have no idea if those people are actually happy.

Who is to say that this added financial burden and temporary worry about transportation (the car is undriveable) is NOT a blessing?

What if … what if he was meant to be hurt in the incident, but was not.  What if this accident was meant to scare him enough to avoid a possible event in the future?


I like that.

I never get upset when I’m ‘stuck’ behind someone on the road.  Perhaps I’m not meant to be 10 seconds ahead of where I am.  If I forget something in the house, and end up leaving later than I meant to, who’s to say that didn’t save my life?

You never know.

When adversity hits – my blessings come crawling out of the woodwork.  I had flowers on my desk this morning, a friend brought me to work and another friend took me home.

I am wealthy.  Because I have an abundance of people who are amazing in my life.

I am successful.  Because I have healthy relationships, a positive attitude and a life I appreciate.

No current problem I have is insurmountable.  There are many, many souls on this Earth right now enduring horrific suffering with seemingly no way out.

So who would I be to sit in pity because I’m making car payments on a vehicle I can’t currently drive – or because the already thinly stretched house budget will probably be stretched transparent when my insurance goes up?  Who would I be to not be grateful for what I DO have.

I don’t want to know.  I am glad to be me.