First I’d like to thank Butters for only waking me up 4 times in the night.
Then, I would like to thank my weekend alarm (set when Nic was still a young school boy, you know … a few weeks ago) that went off at 2:16 am.
It had been set for something he was going to that I had to wake him up for. What was it?? … I can’t think of it.
Anyway, in trying to turn off said alarm, I:
1) woke the rare sleeping dog
2) knocked my phone off of the nightstand, and
3) sent my glass of kiwi-watermelon drink flying – only to land in between the bed and the wall. A nice tight space for cleaning up.
I don’t know if that is the actual flavor by the way … I’m guessing based on the portion of my carpet that is now a lovely kiwi-watermelon color.
Heard my son up several times in the night too – and when I left the house this morning, he was rocking moves like Jagger.
A sleeping Jagger, but moving like him none the less.
Speaking of moves, yesterday I modeled a dress for a good cause. CASA is a program that benefits abused and neglected children in the area.
It was a lot of fun to meet the other models and attendees.
It was also a little hilarious to be half-naked getting ready in a room closed off from the event, whilst facing a huge, wall sized window facing the river.
I don’t think any of us really cared. The people going by on their jet skis probably were going by too fast to notice. (Not sure about the people on the beach.)
I noticed some things though.
I noticed that I didn’t have the fears I had in my 20’s or 30’s to stand in a slip and a bra in public view.
And I noticed that I thought the other ladies, in all shapes and sizes were beautiful. Just as they were.
They were even more beautiful to me because of why they were there. Women giving their time, wanting to do what they could to help such an amazing non-profit organization.
I refer to my growth again as a lot of things are changing. 44 has been pretty amazing so far.
It’s so wonderful to be comfortable in my skin, comfortable in my head and full of hope and joy and promise.
Life is amazing. And if you’re patient enough, and do the next right thing, it turns out life has gifts you didn’t even know were coming.
I’m still processing this.
But, as someone very special to me said recently, it is nice to sometimes receive after all the time we gave.
Yet, I can never forget that there is nothing worth receiving unless I keep giving.
I am happy. I am off the hedonic treadmill and go to lengths to be sure I don’t visit that apparatus again!
I wondered today, if I asked everyone to take a week to come up with 3 things that make them happy, what would they be?
That in mind, I thought I should do the exercise first and found there was no way in heck there were just going to be three things!
This will be part 1 of ‘Happy and I know it’ because there’s just so much to say!
I brainstormed and these things came flowing out first:
The unexpected, scents, laughter, LOVE, giving, harmony, nature, imagination, innocence, music, animals, simplicity, synergy, absence of ego, rhythm, anticipation. I added: Faith, sparrows, having ‘enough’, beautiful actions, learning, kindness, compassion, gratitude.
In no particular order – a little on a some of the big ones for me.
Laughter. I’m talking the real deal – eyes closed, authentic, almost no sound coming out laugher. Side splitting, tears in my eyes, can barely breathe laughter. And if you’re laughing, I’m laughing. SO contagious. My son makes me laugh at least once every single day.
Imagination. From reading to movies, dreams and writing – expressing myself creatively or losing myself in someone elses creativity – that’s a big one for me.
Love. Love for a child, love for friends – loving complete strangers and ok, that first kiss and having butterflies in the tummy. This has to be my number one. Love is absolutely, I believe, what ‘it’ is all about. I’ll never forget J.K. Rowling telling Oprah how she thought of the passengers on one of the 9/11 flights – how they KNEW they were going to die, and the last thing they wanted to do was reach their loved one and just get to tell them “I love you”. Powerful. Truly powerful. They weren’t thinking about work, or their cars or their jewelry. It all came down to love.
Gratitude. Oh am I ever grateful! For everything I have, for everything I don’t have. I’m grateful to have ‘enough’. I don’t want more than that. I’m grateful for every breath, every moment, everything. I say ‘thank you’ every night. I get down on my knees, squeeze my eyes tight and bow my head and say ‘THANK YOU!!!’.
Compassion and kindness. I love seeing these in others and strive to practice them myself. Being of service to each other is so important. Forgetting ourselves, getting lost in bringing joy to others results in absence of ego.
Scents. Wow. We have the obvious – rain, fresh-cut grass – puppy breath, bacon cooking (or is that just me?). Some of my favorite scents though are attached to memories. I keep a bottle of mint sauce (that reminds me of tea time and a blue checkered table-cloth) in the fridge, just for an occasional sniff.
My Nannie’s green house where she grew tomato plants. I had recurring dreams of that smell … the plants mixed with the warm wooden planked floor and the soil. I could sit in there and just breathe that in all day long.
I love the soap she uses too – and the smell of her bed sheets after they were hand washed and line dried. Dreamy. ^_^
Anticipation. I LOVE being ‘next’ in line. I love Christmas Eve. I love that feeling BEFORE an upcoming event. I think this is because there’s still that delicious excitement buzzing in the air. It hasn’t happened yet – it’s not over. I love, love, love looking forward to something.
Music. Opera, classical symphonies, every decade, every genre, music makes me so very happy. Andrea Bocelli brings me to tears, Freddie Mercury’s voice elicits goosebumps. Music makes my heart and soul leap! And Theres nothing like a live performance, love that throb you can feel in your chest from the speakers!
Being deliciously tired is another thing that makes me happy, and I’m feeling that now. So I’ll wrap this up with a couple of quotes that I didn’t come up with.
“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.”
― Dalai Lama XIV
“By not seeking your own happiness, you find it”.
— Unknown (to me at this moment … I’m seriously tired lol)
Tired, but HAPPY!