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Parades, phalanges and procrastination
Thanksgiving.
It’s freezing in my house. A chilly 70 degrees. Yes, that’s cold. When you’re used to temps in the 120’s.
I can barely feel my toes. I refuse to turn the heater up – I just got the electricity bill down from the Summer. I don’t need the gas bill competing with it.
Since my son was church mousing around the house at 4 in the morning, I’m sure I won’t be seeing his bright-eyed face until it’s almost time to go to my parents house this afternoon.
So, Butters and I have been watching the Thanksgiving Day parades and pacing. Mostly I’m pacing. She’s relocated a few times.
I can never sit still.
I go from room to room – swipe my email update – check Facebook – go to another room – make a mental list of everything that needs to be done in said room, then leave it.
I’m bathed – dressed – and bored.
I’m sure there’s someone out there completely inundated with people and activity that would love to switch places with me.
They would know better what to do with boredom. Not me. I am restless!
Unmotivated and restless.
It’s a really bad combination of things to be. I could have had at least 3 projects crossed off my list right now if I had a teeny tiny bit of motivation in me this morning.
I think by typing I feel like I’m getting something accomplished – besides, it keeps my fingers from freezing.
Speaking of fingers. Yesterday I managed to staple my finger …
I happened to have two people in my office at the time – and much to their amusement I did the ‘Is it bad?? OMG, I don’t want to look … IS it bad?? Look … no, wait – don’t look’ thing. All whilst giggling.
One visitor took photos while the other said “Oh, yeah, that’s in there.” Then proceeded to leave me.
Not before announcing to my boss in the room across from us, “She stapled her finger,” to which there was no response.
I think he’s pretty used to hearing anything when it comes to a) Announcements (muttering, unprovoked fits of laughter, cursing) from my office b) Updates from other people as to what Amanda has managed to do now. He’s desensitized. Can’t blame him really.
Probably he managed an eyeroll – maybe even sighed a little.
I was laughing and wondering if the femoral artery got anywhere near the finger tip – (It could! Well … if you’re scratching your leg) then just bravely strolled to the kitchen, grabbed a bandaid from the friend that left, turned on the faucet and yanked the offending staple from my sore phalange.
It really wasn’t bad at all. Provided a little excitement on a day that was crawling by. (I swear, the clock was taking one tick forward and two ticks back!)
Much like today. Some teeny bopper is singing with Ninja Turtles on the tv. Butters is sleeping in the living room and I’m shivering at the kitchen table.
For the sake of not becoming hypothermic – I shall bid you all a Happy Thanksgiving (And Hanukkah!) and start one of my projects.
Musings from the Laundromat: Cake, foot-in-mouth and Mr. Stare edition
Had to do some serious motivational speeches in my head this morning to get out of bed and to the laundromat. Mostly they consisted of: ‘when you get everything done, you can have cake.’
Some were more along the lines of ‘You get out of life what you put into it’ and ‘you’ll feel better after your chores are done and you can relax’ but, mostly they all ended with cake.
So here I am. Things weren’t looking good when I arrived.
Someone was at my table. (‘My’ table, lol)
Not just anybody – but a male who, I felt looking at me the whole time I was putting my items in the washing machines. I tried not to look up, but eventually had to and when I made eye contact, he didn’t break it!
Creeped me out. I felt his stare and could see his focus on me in my peripheral vision.
I hurried to the rainbow umbrella table and stared ahead. At this lovely sight.
Yes, the laundromat bathrooms are ready for Halloween. Good grief.
Normally this would please me – but sitting under the giant rainbow umbrella juxtaposed with staring at such a dank, yellowed, dismal view left me feeling uncomfortable.
Especially since Mr. Stare was still staring at me from MY table.
The view and the sensation were about as pleasant as finding a Band Aid in the dryer, after drying your clothes and knowing no one at your house injured themselves.
Yeah.
That kind of unpleasant.
Anyway – he’s gone now.
So back to motivation and cake.
My son’s girlfriend turned 19 yesterday and when they returned from a day at her house and dinner – they sat and we chatted and laughed AND … she had brought me a piece of saved cake.
It wasn’t until she left and Nic squirreled his way under my tin foiled treasure, that it was revealed in all it’s cakey glory that it came with candles.
How adorable is that? Who thinks to leave them in?
Well, it certainly had the appropriate number of candles because I behaved as if I were three yesterday.
I have this annoying habit of speaking my mind.
I really try not to! I do!
I sit myself down and explain why it is not a good time to bring something up, or why I should not say what’s on my mind. I nod at myself and agree – then proceed to do it anyway.
I infuriate me sometimes. But I can never stay mad at me long.
So the weekend has pretty much consisted of me behaving like a 3 year-old – being extra emotional – feeling insecure, crying at animal videos and craving cake.
Wonderful.
Even Butters has been in an odd mood. She took herself off to bed last night after giving up waiting on me and she’s doing her really good imitation one of those poor, unloved animals you see on those gut wrenching commercials.
Notice she’s being very ‘unloved’ from her spot on my bed. Which I’m allowing even though she’s shedding like crazy.
I’m hoping to cheer myself and the dog up by cleaning when I get home with the laundry and letting some light and fresh air into the house.
And! By removing the foot from my mouth and inserting cake.
Musings from the Laundromat: Saturday Edition
Yes, Saturday!
Insert dramatic music and shocked face here. Or, a dramatic chipmunk will do:
I am still determined to get two entire days in a row of pure movie-watching, snack-eating, guilt-free nap-if-I-want-to debauchery. But, since I’m the kind of person who can’t sit still – it’s doubtful that will happen even with the opportunity.
I was going to name this post: Random nonsense – until I realized that could be the title of all my other posts (except the interviews.)
First random thing – as I drove here, I did have my reservations about switching up my routine. Would my table be open? What about my washing machines I like to use? Would the place be mobbed? Then I chuckled at the last thought – it IS Saturday after all, and other people have things that they do – outside of the house – for fun.
The place is pretty empty – but my table is taken. I’m at the umbrella table. But, on the upside, the umbrella table is right next to the washing machines I like to use, and they were available. Color me … um … happy, but not as happy as this umbrella:
Actual view when I look up
There’s something I’ve been meaning to share (and this is when the men who read my blog might want to go do something else. Wait – there I go being sexist again! Men could want beautiful hair! Sorry guys.) I have been meaning to share it because us ladies know that when it comes to products that actually work and live up to their claims, they are few and far between.
I found something that exceeded my expectations – and it’s only fair to pass on the good news.
AND … it’s cheap.
Here’s the product:
No, I’m not being paid for this testimonial. (I wish – but I wouldn’t sell out on here) I would never endorse a product I hadn’t tried and loved. But try and love this pair I did. 🙂
The shampoo has little beads in it – they burst and lather and the smell is amazing. After I rinse, my hair is literally ‘squeaky-clean’. It’s prepped and ready for the conditioner. Usually when you don’t pay an insane amount of money on a conditioner – you can tell as soon as you squeeze some into your hand. Not this one. It’s thick – and rinses out leaving the hair feeling almost like you used a sulfate free, more expensive kind.
I have naturally wavy hair – so I straighten it quite a bit when I’m not in a curly mood. As a result, I have some split ends. The very first time I used the shampoo and conditioner – my hair looked amazing. And not weighted down. Light, soft, smooth. Here’s me being smug with my freshly washed hair:
Anyway – get it.
I’ll wrap this up with some Butters. With time on my hands, I’ve been annoying the hell out of her. Taking so many photos and chatting to her, expecting an answer. Here she was being adorable before I left with her ‘baby’:
And here she is giving me an increasingly common look. “Get out of my face with the camera.”
I say no. I’m staying in that wrinkly, adorable face.
But, lucky for her, I’ll be occupied after I get home indulging in some arts and crafts. I’ll be pulling out the clay and the paint today – I’ll share the results in another ‘Random nonsense’ post.
Until then Happy Saturday everyone!
Breaking News: My table just opened up. I shall be relocating. I sit with my back to the wall like a cop. Like to keep an eye on the place … never know when a sock might try to make a break for it.
Musings from the Laundromat: Vultures and Sleeping Dogs edition
Ah Sunday.
I stayed up until 2 in the morning last night completing a side job I’d committed myself to. It helped that The Breakfast Club was on.
Some of my favorite dialogue from that movie:
John Bender: YOU ARE A BITCH.
Claire Standish: Why? ‘Cause I’m telling the truth, that makes me a bitch?
John Bender: NO. ‘Cause you know how shitty that is to do someone, and you don’t got the balls to stand up to your friends and tell them you’re gonna like who you wanna like.
Yeah! Go John! But, Claire was just being honest.
I digress.
I stayed up late and mentioned online that I could sleep in. A friend pointed out that I wouldn’t. True. This is true. I awoke at 7-ish.
Not so much the dog – she was sleeping in.
For her to stay still for a photo op is a feat, for her to stay still with her eyes closed is a freaking phenomenon, so I’ll share the moment.
I decided to let sleeping dogs lie and gather the laundry.
I live on a dirt road – in the desert. As I turned left onto the paved road, something caught my eye to my right.
I checked my rear view mirror and spotted the eye catchers.
Vultures.
A U-turn was in order.
I could not let a moment like that pass without being photographed.
I pulled up next to them as ninja-like as I could in a PT Cruiser and turned off the car, and waited.
And waited.
And wished I had my ‘real’ camera.
And wished I had my tripod.
And waited.
I began to feel the vulture’s frustration as car after car came along to keep them away from the kill.
The kill by the way, was a rabbit. Well, part of a rabbit. It was mostly the head and some torso … a leg was about a foot away from it. (No pun intended)
Every time a car came along, I looked away … I didn’t want to see it run over. My stomach can only stomach so much.
At last a brave vulture decided, ‘screw this – I’m getting the rabbit’ and swooped majestically down and took hold of the carcass in its beak.
And I wished again that I had my camera.
Vultures are an awesome sight to behold. They’re HUGE and gorgeous.
I did not do them justice with my ipad – but you use what you have.
Here’s what I have:
Circling the kill
The brave vulture telling the not so brave vulture to back off.
Success!
“Talk to the wing!” Didn’t that latecomer ever read ‘The Little Red Hen’? Probably he’s eaten one … but everyone should read ‘The Little Red Hen’.
You don’t get something for nothing people.
Got to help plant, harvest and bake if you want that bread. Or, get off your telephone pole if you want rabbit.
The day I gave a non-existent kitten the cold leg
Ever have one of those moments when you’re busy pouting, and ‘cut off your nose to spite your face’ as ‘they’ say?
You know, that mood usually reserved for teenagers or PMSing females.
That mood when you’re likely to say ‘no’ to something amazing (like cake) just because you’re not done being grumpy. Even though you really want the something amazing (like cake.) Yeah.
My boss offered to get me a sandwich (not cake), and I was hungry. But stubbornly pissed. “No thank you.”
My inner hungry person was wide-eyed and asking me “What are you DOING?! We WANT the sandwich.”
I looked at her, (yes, I have perfected the eye roll to the point of being able to literally see the inside of my head) and she backed off.
Must have been quite a look.
That’s when I realized … I had reached that mood today.
As I told my friend Ruth who I sought out to vent to at, “If a kitten was rubbing up against my leg right now, I’d move my leg away … even if I wanted to pet it.”
Petty pouting perfected.
I was slammed at work today. And every time I quickly returned from the scanner or printer, I noticed my boss on the internet.
That bothers the crap out of me. I work my arse off, and believe me, I’m not the one getting the commission. I could have used some help.
I digress.
Remember the fan that a customer brought me? Out of the goodness of his heart? In a random act of kindness? The one I had a really hard time accepting, because I have the hardest time accepting anything from anyone? No? Read more of my posts, you’ll see that moment. Or, just click HERE.
Now, yesterday (or was it Wednesday?) ‘Fan Guy’ comes in and plops himself down at my desk and has me make copies for him and fax something for him. Not work related. A personal favor (he’s a friend of my boss.)
Okay, I can accommodate that – (after my inner busy person made the snide ‘let me just drop everything’ comment in my head.)
As I was preparing to stand up and ‘accommodate’, he turned to my boss and said, “She’s my indentured servant, working off that fan.”
WHAT?
I felt about one inch tall!!
My jaw might have hit the floor had it not been clenched in a major effort not to say out loud what my inner busy person was saying at that moment. I shan’t repeat it. It wasn’t pretty.
Don’t do that. Don’t give someone a gift and lord it over them. Don’t make comments like that people. Just don’t.
I felt awful. As if I didn’t already have a hard enough time receiving gifts, that further cinched it for me.
Back to today.
So I’m slammed and already getting a little grumpy – when ‘fan guy’ comes back. I was entirely too busy to even make eye contact. Or was I still just entirely too humiliated and pissed to make eye contact?
Hmmm … no matter. He must have sensed the temperature of my shoulder and sat at my boss’s desk this time.
It was shortly after that visit that I stomped scurried off to vent to my friend.
I decided as my lip quivered and my blood pressure rose, that I needed a break. And a major attitude adjustment.
So I took a rare lunch and drove. Just drove. Then turned around, took a deep breath and returned to work.
I keep counting my blessings – but some days my inner whiner makes a pretty good case about being allowed to occassionally take a moment to acknowledge that some things just suck.
Then my inner grateful person (she’s taller than the whiner, and smarter too) takes over quickly and get’s us all back on track.
It’s Friday. I’m home. Groceries are purchased (thanks to my job) AC is blowing cool air (thanks to my job) and I’m chatting with my son on my ipad (who went clubbing for the first time ever, in the UK) thanks to my wifi (again, thank you job.)
So – if any kittens found my leg now, I would pet them. That’s if Butters didn’t eat them.
(But if she did – she’d be grateful.)
**Disclaimer: No kittens, imaginary or real were or ever would actually be harmed by Butters**
Debauchery Soup 