Bugs and Monsters


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Just ate a bug.

I’m sat outside, with my coffee – reading and reach for my cup and … ate a bug.

Then I looked up (after not so delicately thrusting my finger in my mouth to fish out the foreign coffee additive) and suddenly felt very lonely.

I don’t do ‘lonely’.

I like my own company.

So let me tell you, this feeling was quite a surprise to me!

From spitting out an unidentified flying protein, to contemplating my shelf life.

Just. Like. That.

Ms. Independent will be Ms. Depends.

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Tutting at ‘those kids today’ and shuffling around in house slippers.

Probably eating bugs and not even realizing it.

Good news is I’m good at ‘alone’.

Earlier a THUD came from my bedroom.  Without even thinking about it, I calmly got up and went to investigate.

It’s seriously ridiculous how unafraid I am of bumps in the night.  I’d make for a boring horror movie.

They’d start the ‘increasingly intense’ music, pan to me rolling my eyes and lazily getting up to check out the threat.

“Cut! Can you try to look concerned?”

“Yeah – sure.” *Sigh*

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“ANNNND – ACTION!”

Thud.  Eyeroll.  Feigned mild concern.

“Cut!”

_____________________

Maybe it’s because I know monsters don’t live in the dark – and that people who mean you harm don’t wait for you to turn out the lights …

Or maybe, it’s because I’ve vanquished so many monsters that the only things that alarm me are bugs in my coffee – and the prospect of depends.

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About debaucherysoup

I've traveled 4 continents, affording me experiences and adventures to last a lifetime. Most important was the exposure to other cultures, beliefs and lifestyles. I'm also mom to one of the most amazing human beings I know.

Posted on March 6, 2014, in Humor, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink. 4 Comments.

  1. I WONT do it!! (Wear depends) I don’t yet know what the alternative is…But not that horror!!! AKKK! I’m going to have to invent some form of glamorous and fashionable garment for this purpose. Danget.

  2. Ironically, I am working on a group of Steam Punk painted wooden animal salt n pepper holders right now!! It is Sir Edmond Steamer and his wife Lady Belle, they are characters in a series of coloring books I’m working on.. I’ll have to add the Great Grandma character who wears Steam Punk Depends now!! LOLOL!!! (They are cats!)

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