I knew I wanted to relax this weekend – didn’t realize how adamant my body was going to be about that happening.
I woke Friday to two lovely surprises.
1) A visibly swollen neck, sore throat, headache and fever
2) I’m not pregnant. (Not that there was a possibility, but found that the least offensive way to put it for you.)
Went to work and really hung in there, if hanging in there means occasionally putting my head on my desk and mouth breathing.
Somehow got everything done and finally couldn’t ‘hang’ anymore. I tapped out at 2, came home and hit my bed so hard there may be charges brought against me.
I can’t remember the last time I slept so much!
Well, intermittent sleep anyway. Had anyone watched me Friday night they may have drawn the conclusion I was kicking heroin.
You know, that lovely ‘fever fidget’ mode? Hot, cold, legs kicking – moaning.
The flu is no joke!
So I wake up Saturday feeling like I’d biked the Tour de France and realized I still had to adult.
I had no medicine, no more juice.
I called my mom (feeling pathetic) hoping she could shop for me. I didn’t reach her and sat and debated.
Do I take my virus out into the world? That would be selfish. But, I needed provisions and my fairy godmother wasn’t flying in any windows with aid.
So, I went.
My eyes looked like Gilbert Godfried with a shellfish reaction. My face pale, sans makeup – mouth lolling open like a zombie.
Safe to say no one hindered me during my excursion.
I grabbed meds, soup and lots of juice and headed back home.
Lots of movies watched me this weekend – but two I DID stay awake for were Bridget Jones’s Baby and A Street Cat Named Bob. The latter was genius.
I don’t want to give anything away, but there is a scene tha mirrors something I described earlier.
Anyway, I highly recommend this movie – if you have Netflix, you can find it there. It was a book first, based on these two:
So, now I’m at the laundromat.
And it would have been SO easy to not have come.
Especially when I arrived and there were people waiting outside and the door was not open.
But, my sheets and pillowcase needed washing – after two days of soaking up my germs.
And once I saw that the WIFI was actually working, I made myself stay and wait so that I could write to you.
I’ll be crawling back into bed after I make it up with these fresh linens and put my clean clothes away – and finding another movie to watch me.
And, I can say that I have successfully accomplished what I set out to do this weekend no? Just – maybe next time, it can be by choice.
I peopled yesterday.
I SO peopled.
Made a return at a major store – found no replacement, went to another major store – this is after an uncomfortable drive to the first place.
Care for pets.
Thought of leaving brings on another need for bathroom.
The drive: “OMG, why are they going so fast?” “Am I going too slow?” “I have to be in this lane.” “Are they mad at me?” “They’re not going to let me in if I don’t move now.”
Get me out of here!
Last store – my heart was ready to come out of my chest. I entered Safeway.
Wiped my cart with the sanitary thingy – reach into my purse for my pen (I always do a ‘tally’ as I go) and ‘POKE’ … And OUCH.
I pulled my hand out of my purse and … Blood.
A trial size perfume spritzer had shattered and the ‘poke’ was a shard of glass.
I headed to customer service because A) I am NOT going home now without my provisions and B) I needed her to check my lottery scratcher tickets because I am blind as Clarice Starling in Buffalo Bill’s cellar these days.
So I’m standing there – dripping on not only the cart, but the floor, my clothes, anything in my midst.
Me: (placing, very calmly, scratcher tickets on the counter) Um, do you have a band aid?
Her: Wow. You’re bleeding pretty bad.
Her: OK. (Scurries off for ‘things’)
Me: I’m so sorry.
Her: Don’t be sorry. How did you do that?
Me: (Feeling woozy, trying not to bleed everywhere and becoming increasingly aware of how much I am) I, um, I was by the dispenser, the thing ..
Her: The sanitizer? You cut yourself on the wipe container?
“Do you want to file a claim?”
No, no I didn’t lol. Because it wasn’t the dispenser’s fault.
She kindly patched me up and yes, I had missed a ‘winner’. $10 in my pocket and a band aid on my finger and I was off.
But what WAS their fault? The barricades in the aisles. Stock people, I know you have to stock, but, damn! It’s hard enough for me to be in the store at it’s best time (which I still haven’t figured out) but when I’m doing a grocery version of a maze/obstacle course that’s ridiculous.
I was so DONE with being out, SO done with peopling and so mad at myself for allowing the sweet customer service lady to believe the sanitizer dispenser attacked me.
The rest of the day I spent cleaning and cooking.
It’s time for my annual home inspection – or as I like to think of it, ‘intrusive visit where photographs are taken of all my belongings’.
I clean all the time, but this visit calls for the white glove kind of clean.
You know, all the things you don’t do all the time. (Or, maybe it’s just me?) Like, removing and washing the floor vents, cleaning the top of the fridge, cleaning under sinks and tossing items not used even once since last inspection.
I got most everything done except my bedroom.
I just can’t get into gear to do it!
We all have that one room everything that doesn’t belong anywhere else ends up right? Well, that’s my bedroom.
And it really sucks the ‘nest zen’ right out of my budoire.
I’ll get to it eventually. I have a deadline after all. That always motivates me.
But for today … I’m going to chill out a little.
Luckily, I am done with outside errands and there’s no more peopling in Sunday’s forecast.
My clock is confused.
I set it for 6 a.m. Knowing I could comfortably hit snooze a couple of times before gathering my laundry and heading out to the ‘mat.
Woke on time – hit that button like the lady of leisure I felt.
Next eyelid opening had me staring at 7:30. Ok. Laundromat officially doesn’t open until 8:00. I still had plenty of time to do my customary brushing of tangled hair and morning teeth then find some pants to throw on.
I even toyed with the idea of showering first …
Then I walked out of my bedroom and glanced at my other clocks.
My time keeper had taken a step to the left.
Now, I realize it’s Sunday and other than laundry and light cleaning, I have nothing pressing on my agenda – but I did get that momentary panicked bird in the chest sensation and then “Oh shit” went through my mind.
I encounter this ‘Time Warp” annually. I have a ‘smart’ clock. I beg to differ with its intelligence as it is supposed to know that we, in Arizona, do not observe Daylight Savings Time. Our clocks do not Fall Back this time of year.
And besides, dear clock of mine – that occurred LAST weekend.
So, I changed its mode to whatever made the time correct and proceeded to head out of the door weighted down with two baskets of dirty clothing.
Laundry Lady is here this week. I’m glad. Some normality returned to my routine. We exchanged our usual banter and I sat at my 2nd favorite table.
While typing a man with a thick German accent asked:
“There is internet?”
“Yes,” I responded, “Free WIFI.”
He settled into the table behind me and has his tiny lap top out. As I stuffed the dryers I asked, “Did you find it?”
“Oh yes. You know, the McDonalds, they don’t have it anymore.”
“Yes, yes. I think they do not want for you to sit too long inside.”
I can’t remember the last time I sat inside of a McDonalds. Can’t actually remember the last time I actually ate McDonalds. I think that’s a good thing.
I do have a ginormous piece of salmon that I’ll be cooking in between cleaning and binge watching Salem on Netflix.
And, I’ll be cutting my eyes over to my clock occasionally to be sure it’s not up to anymore shenanigans.
Something a little punny about ‘watching’ a ‘clock’ no?
But I will be. Know this clock, I WILL be.
My right eye is still asleep. Not sure how that’s possible, but it’s managed to accomplish it.
Laundromat has an odd atmosphere today. Even Laundry Lady concurred with that. She’s half asleep too, but I’m pretty sure both her eyes are working.
Glaucoma Man isn’t even chatty.
Him: Anything new?
Me: Not really.
Him: Same stuff just older huh?
Then he walked off to the vending machine. Very unlike him. I should have mentioned I only have one functional eyeball – that’s something new.
More people have descended upon the ‘mat now – the room is abuzz with various machine sounds and an assortment of patrons. The radio is now on and being drowned out. That, or one of my ears is sleeping too.
Chatter from the front of the room – and Glaucoma Man is folding his wash. He never has much. Just a tiny red mesh containers worth.
And he never says goodbye.
Just hurries out with his red bag in tow.
I wonder what he does after he leaves? Does he just sit in his trailer and watch TV?
No secret what I do.
I have the social life of a corpse.
I’ll put the laundry away … Walk my dog around the yard. Tidy the house then spend too much time with my dear friend Netflix.
Hopefully I can do that with just the one eye.