Is this IT?? (Which is only funny after you read this because, you know “it'” and “IT”
I was walking Butters for the first time this morning (more on that in a bit) and was sleepy, and it was Monday, and had this sudden thought (not for the first time) “Is this it?”
Every weekday morning.
- Get up
- Walk Butters with no results
- Come inside
- Feed and water Butters
- Check Facebook and Email and collect my ‘faux’ chips on a game I like to play
- Turn on the news
- Get in the shower
- Do my hair – put minimal makeup (concealer, a dusting of rice powder, mascara and some color on my lips)
- Get dressed
- Take Butters out again (with no results)
- Watch more news
- Take Butters out for a THIRD time – with results
- Make my lunch
- Leave the house for work
Don’t get me wrong. I’m glad that:
- I woke up
- My dog woke up
- I have food to give my dog and I
- I have a job to go to
But, I’ve got that hamster wheel feeling again! Ground Hog Day!
Which is also why I don’t feel the least bit guilty about some debauchery this weekend supporting a friend at the Gentleman’s Club she works at.
I missed her – wasn’t able to attend her wedding since I was holding down my mum’s house as my Nannie passed. The minute I got wind of her returning to work, I wanted to be there.
Anyway.
Back to the wheel.
Butters and I are standing in the dirt yard – where my rented single wide sits and I just was SO overwhelmed with … “IS THIS IT?”
I used to own a home! I used to have ‘extra’
Now I’m just creeping up on 50, renting and single.
Not only single, but if the PERFECT man came into my life, I’m such a hot mess that:
- My pride would interfere with anything he tried to help me with. I won’t take money. I couldn’t ‘move in’ with him. I am TOO independent.
- I’m so used to being alone he’d have to ACTUALLY be ‘Perfect’ to deal with me
- I put my son before any other relationship and at 21, he’d still have to be part of a ‘package deal’
So, screwed right?
I have no savings – no retirement – no health insurance.
I DO have a car payment (as most of us do, I know) a little bit of debt and health issues.
Therefore, the retire part of this … Doesn’t seem to be in my future. Lol.
THEN! I went to work.
In a gorgeous new dress.
Let’s talk about this.
I received some gift cards to a local shop for my birthday.
First visit – I’m thinking ‘practical’.
It’s been in the 120’s here in Arizona and I’m DREADING my electric bill.
Yes, I can handle SOME heat – but no, my dog (Butters) can’t.
So, we’re running the A/C and believe me, it’s been RUNNING!
I set it at 82 and we usually don’t get this kind of heat until mid-July.
So! With my birthday gift cards, I bought (drum roll please)
CURTAINS! Sigh. Darker curtains to block some of the hot desert sun from our little home.
Well, curtains were too long. (Yes, yes I measured before buying and took said inaccurate measurements with me.)
I returned them the next day and for once, put myself first. With $80 I bought: two dresses, one top, two pairs of earrings, a pair of shoes AND a very unnecessary spritzer that moisturizers while ‘affixing’ your make up. (Pretty ironic as I have just shared with you my make up regime lol). But I put that dress on today, I put those shoes on today, I put those earrings on and I spritzed.
I walked into work feeling like a million dollars, and it was noticed.
Okay, here’s the dress, although, the pic doesn’t accentuate the sheer last inches of it.
With my pedicured toes (thanks to my mum this weekend) and a new outfit I was invincible!
Which is good – because Monday came with copier crashes – which I was on the phone and online with tech support for a while about. A website I’m creating for a new agent which had DNS glitches and an urgent need for an owner to get home, who I drove.
A TOTAL Monday.
Some customers came in late in the day and while interacting with their agents, I was introduced.
“Is this the agent that has that house for sale on (such and such) street?”
Me: (I smiled) No, I’m just a minion.
Them: If you weren’t here would the cogs stop turning?
My bosses … The owners … “Yes, they would.”
“This is Amanda.”
And in that moment – I knew I was important there. I KNOW I’m important at home … And I know I’m important on the planet.
And maybe, just maybe – this isn’t ‘it’.
I have so many friends, but they’re so far away, perhaps someday, when I’ve put in the work – I can be with them, or close to them. And maybe not retiring is a good thing.
I’ve had my travels, I’ve gone from France to India on a bus already for goodness sake!
Had experiences only a few could dream of!
But right now … Just right now – it’s enough that I work with people I love and live with people I love. And I get the feeling, ‘this isn’t IT’.
Musings from the Laundromat: Pedicures & Pole Dancing
It has come to my attention that I can’t stay up late anymore.
My 47th birthday brought with it such gifts as: Inability to sleep through the night without peeing at least once, Feeling like I’ve been hit by a truck if I don’t see the back of my eyelids by 10 p.m. at the latest and even more scary face wrinkles when I look down and my iPad reflects my image.
Thanks 47.
Thanks a lot.
You REALLY shouldn’t have.
But! It is what it is and I, being who I am, will continue to do what I shouldn’t and last night I tested the powers of 47’s gifts and am regretting it as I sit typing.
Let’s start from the beginning.
As part Deux of my birthday, my mum collected me for a pedicure. It’s been a looooong time.
My feet were starting to resemble something that looked directly at Medusa.
We were greeted by a beautiful Asian lady – and both given a bottle of water.
Considering it was 120 degrees outside, this was like being handed a bar of gold.
Once in the chairs with our feet in the water, I was ready to take a nap.
The chairs massaged … The water bubbled, I reclined and was already in paradise.
Oh! My view from my chair? This guy. He was HUGE and odd and I loved him.
My pedicurist arrived at my feet and opened a sterile packet containing all his necessary pedi instruments, then took one look at my feet and got up to go to the back.
I turned to my mum, “He’s getting the heavy artillery.”
Yup.
Not only do they do the usual pedi things – BUT! Hot rocks were brought out for a leg and foot massage. He also did something with his thumb on both of my feet that gave me goosebumps and a sudden urge to marry him.
After all was done, we wobbled out to the car like boneless chickens.
Now for lunch.
Buffet with sushi? SO my kind of lunch!
‘Healthy’ dessert. (Ok, listen there were two other plates of food I’m not sharing … I ate like I was about to depart as a contestant to some island for Survivor.)
Sated – we got back into the hot car.
The car was seriously hotter than the 120 degrees outside.
Next was the shops.
We had only made it to our first stop when I had an urgent need to discover if Petsmart had a bathroom.
(Buffet ‘all you can eat’ sushi became an example of ‘if it seems to good to be true …’ You know the rest.)
The two of us realized we had only rented our lunch.
And each shop after had us returning some of our meal. Lol!
Too much info? Sorry. The truth had to be told.
Home.
Then – off to the grocery store. Look who was hanging (literally) in the meat section.
Home again.
Gave my pup a bath … Here she is all coconut scented and sunshine.
Didn’t stop there … Steam cleaned my kitchen floor.
I was exhausted and ready for an early night.
Except, I learned my friend was working at the local ‘Gentleman’s Club’ that night and I haven’t seen her in a long time.
Taxi to the strip club.
I did two amazing interviews with my friend and another lady. And for whatever reason, am having the biggest issue uploading them to YouTube! Grrrrr. When I figure that out, of course I will share. (Especially considering that during the second interview, a rogue man outside walked up to us and was shut DOWN by my interviewee. LOL!)
You know, even the strip club was rocking the spa vibe … They don’t serve alcohol, (good idea) but, they had delicious cucumber water. Classy.
By the time I got home and had walked the dog and readied myself for bed it was two in the morning!!!!
I STILL managed to get everything done this morning though. Laundry, a store return (and a little shopping with the store credit), washed car and have turkey sausages in the oven.
A nap however, is imminent.
And well deserved if I do say so myself.
Happy Sunday Soupers!
Too hot and work and stuff
Even though it was a ‘short’ week at work, it felt loooooong.
We’ve added another family member at work and I’m so excited for her!
I’ve come to know that my services encompass the following: Accountant, Quarterly tax preparer, receptionist, social media delegate, compliance assistant, keeper of all that is important, Website creator (from scratch) graphic artist, promoter, supply provider, janitor, creator of logo, creator of business system, excel formula, Social Media updater …. God and … Eater of all that is left over.
LOL!
I think I deserve that left over food 😉
I took this photo at 5 minutes to 5 because the (1) lighting was good
(2) I had cleared my inboxes and was watching the clock because it’s Friday – I’m not going to lie. Lol.
Thing is – I’m happy every day at work.
No joke.
No sucking up.
I am SO lucky to have an environment I can say “What the F$&# ” out loud when I have a problem on my computer.
We are not retail, I don’t have to edit myself when we are alone.
We ARE on our best behavior when customers are in the house.
I have made life long friends at work. Well, when you spend many years with a specific people – that’s either bound to happen, or not.
Luckily for me – it happened.
So now I’m home.
And my pup is happy about it.
And! AND! I tried to save my roses and they seem semi-saved
Gawd bless them – they’re tryin’!
Tomorrow – a pedicure with my mum and I get to spend some Kohls cash – and as much as I want a dress … I’m thinking Sun Blocking Curtains to help the electric bill.
It’s bonkers now, I can’t even imagine August!
Peace out Soupers – and I hope YOU are staying cool. 
‘When the doves fly’ and other things you didn’t know.
Today was amazing.
(Tangent – I was just sitting outside and you know how beautiful doves ‘coo’ when they’re sitting? When they’re flying not so much. Lol. It’s like this … Um … Squawk asthma croaky thing.)
After laundry, I woke my son and we met my parents at a local casino for brunch.
I’m stickin’ with the no cow or pig diet. (Yes, I cheated … I was CRAVING meat whilst it was ‘that time of the month’ and regretted it VERY soon after. My body HATED having red meat in it. And told me so. Crazy that I was used to it.)
ANYWAY!
Here’s some more fun pics.
Nic trying his first snail …
He actually ended up liking it.
My desserts …
And yeah, I ate every single bite lol!
My mum and me. I swear, she looks younger than ME in this photo! I guess I have good genes and should be very grateful!!!
Fun with … I dunno. I’m so ‘app’ lost!!!! I don’t have a cell phone. I don’t know if this is face swap or face thingy or whatever. But, I do know I love this pic. 🙂
Me and my crab!!! I HAVE given up red meat and pork – but not seafood yet. I can’t. I love it. And as long as it has LIVED and has a fighting chance in the ocean, I’m ok with the capture. Not like factory farming. 😦
My bird and I.
My beautiful mum and I. Saying ‘bye for now’ on the way to the garage where this awaited …
PLUS! Vegan shampoo and conditioner – and some beautiful heartfelt cards.
And here’s the whole family.
We had a lot of fun today.
Then Nic and I went grocery shopping and I paused in my head and thought ‘this is amazing. We’re going home with groceries and just spent time with people we love’.
So, yeah. I don’t take things for granted. I spent my birthday wearing my grand mother’s ring and loving my mum and loving my son and a thank you hug to my dad …
Life needs to be appreciated EVERY day!
I’m just glad to be alive at 47.
And NEVER going to lie about my age. It’s a miracle. EVERY SINGLE YEAR!
I’m so glad each of you were born and HAPPY HAPPY Birthday to YOU!
Regardless if it’s your birthday or not, you have one, and I’m glad of it!
Musings from the Laundromat: Wagging and still breathing edition
Awoke to Butters wagging and breathing near me. I don’t think she gets the concept of ‘weekend’. That’s ok. I needed to be up early to get to the laundromat.
Waggy/breathy is now home and I am the only one here at the ‘place of laundry musings.’
I slept well. Much thanks to my bosses who bought me a pillow top mattress cover and uber comfy pillow for my birthday. I think maybe they were over my response to “How are you?” Asked each morning being – “Tired!”
Today, it is my birthday.
47.
Crazy.
Time has FLOWN!
Time has also dipped and swooped and sometimes hung comfortably riding a current.
I didn’t get that ‘It’s my birthday feeling’ today. You remember when we were kids and could barely sleep the day before? Like our own personal Christmas Eve? Long gone are those days. Or, ‘eves’ I should say.
And this morning – all I could think was that I didn’t want to get out of my comfy bed.
But out I am and will be joining my parents for brunch later.
Then grocery shopping.
I put everything off yesterday as I did a Netflix marathon of season 4 ”Call the Midwife’. I crawled out of my nest a couple of times to fetch sustenance – then back to my OH so comfy bed.
So here I sit and I’m sipping a cup of coffee, even though I’ve given coffee up, because my laundry lady makes a 1/2 pot just for me.
Bless her heart.
And feeling very grateful to still be on the planet.
Oh, on my way out … As I held the door for waggy/breathy, I spotted the sun shining on my sweet Nannie.
I think she was saying, “Happy Birthday ‘Manda”
Have a great day Soupers!
Debauchery Soup 