Category Archives: Uncategorized
Embracing fear
I’m finding my fears are directly proportional to how much I am capable of loving. The more I grow, spiritually, intellectually, emotionally, the more I fear. And I wonder how that can be?
I know that the opposite of fear is faith – I know that fear is unhealthy. I know this, and yet I am scared.
For me, this is also growth. When for years (other than my son) I didn’t fear losing something, not caring enough to be afraid – this is growth.
Faith I can work on.
The ordinary seems more ordinary to me lately. All the childhood dreams and hopes I had for myself are keeping me up at night. I want the fantastic. The magical. The fairy tale.
For years I did not believe anymore. Like a wide-eyed audience member discovering the secret behind a magicians trick – such disappointment.
The past few years I have been finding my own magic. Slowly. And finding myself open to believing again. Then out of nowhere, as if a reward for opening my eyes, destiny put more in my path.
I think my fear stems from not wanting to suddenly see another trick revealed.
No, I do not want to sit in naivety. But to have wonderment at what life can bring – to be surprised and to feel anything is again possible – I want more than anything.
Caution: The Twitter twit is tweeting
I have not had the slightest desire to ‘tweet’. But, I have been coveting the little Twitter boxes I see here and there. I wanted one.
I also knew for sure I was not going to add a Facebook box to my blog.
I’m old school. If you’re my friend on Facebook, either
a) We’re related.
b) I have spent actual time with you and like you
c) I have seen you naked
or
d) You were deemed worthy of reading my unedited status updates and are among the few, the proud, ‘the trusted’.
I do not accept every friend request I get. I see some and think “who the hell IS that??” Then I see some and think “I know who you are … and, no thank you.”
It’s not mean! I am selective!
We know by now that I speak first and think later. My friends understand this.
Although – of late – I am having to keep my mouth shut about some wonderful things, and it’s killing me softly.
Anyway, there is some anonymity here – and I can be just as random and silly and anonymous on Twitter.
Bottom line, (see, I still reign as Tangent Queen) – I wasn’t about to set up another Facebook account just for my blog.
I succumbed to peer pressure and figured a Twitter account would be a great addition to the blog.
I could have the cool ‘follow me’ box and another venue to show off a naked mole rat. Only … my naked mole rat wouldn’t fit in my damn profile box.
Just the first of many Twitter obstacles in Debauchery Soup’s path.
I think I’ve mentioned I research. I research the hell out of things. I wasn’t about to just start Tweeting away without knowing what things do and why they do them.
My first google search?
No, seriously. I had to google when and how to hashtag!
And much to my surprise, you can’t just go hash-tagging randomly!
You can’t.
It’s sort of like tagging on here.
God forbid I #debauchery and end up in some category with wild orgies and girls gone wild!!
Did not know that about the #. Now I do.
Followers … I only have two so far. One is one of my favorite bloggers on WordPress, and the other is one of my favorite people. So, I’m good with that.
This is not about numbers – this is about having that little box on the right hand side of this page you’re reading – let’s not forget.
I wanted the little box. I now have one. 🙂
I figured out how to ‘@’ ! My Twitter feathers ruffled with pride.
Now if I could only figure out how to fit my Mole Rat into my profile, I’d be golden.
Musings from the laundromat – Fathers Day edition
There are more men here today than usual. I look at them, and wonder – ‘are you a father?’.
One man in particular was checking his phone as I stood next to him at the washing machines, my overactive imagination had him being disappointed that he had not received a text from his children.
Probably he was just checking the time. But, not in my mind.
We have a couple of patrons that I would love to talk to – first, The Man Under the Rainbow Umbrella.
In person, he looks the sort to still use a cloth handkerchief. I imagine him refolding the newspaper he’s reading before he leaves. Taking it home and placing it in the same spot his Sunday newspaper has been set down for years.
Then he’ll carry his freshly cleaned items to his bedroom, sparsely decorated, and proceed to put them away.
He’s tidy. Efficient. Probably has his Sunday dinner decided upon when he shops for his weeks groceries.
Of course, now I’m noticing the small pink and white slippers on the table next to him and wondering, does he have an ill wife at home?
If so, I love him more. He’s doing the laundry and including her slippers. Bless his heart.
Our next patron is the mysterious Man of Mystery and Adventure.
He’s sporting an Indian Jones hat. And, no, that is NOT a purse hanging from his laundry cart. It’s his dusty satchel! Probably has a map in it. Yes it does. He feels safe carrying his documents with him into a small town laundromat. Of course, the jig is up, as I have spotted him. He doesn’t know how MUCH I know, but he knows I know.
There really are so very many men here today. Only 2 women … strange. Shouldn’t it have been that ratio on Mothers Day??
If you’re a dad, happy Fathers Day.
If you’re the father of daughters, treat women the way you would want your little girl to be treated – we notice that more. Be the man who takes the pink and white slippers to the laundromat.
Wishing you a day of love and appreciation.
Friday! Stars, startles and hitting send/receive
Ahhhh FRIDAY!
It was a bonkers day today. (Yeah, this is going to be one of those ‘Dear Diary’ posts, but don’t avert your eyes in voyeurism shame, you’re invited to flip through the pages of my life.)
So, I awoke at 2:15 am. Yes, we’re starting from the beginning, because I had the best giggle of the day over what ensued.
The dog was the source of my early hour awakening (shocking, I know.) Got up, trotted after the dog – no, wait, SHE trotted, I begrudgingly shuffled along after her, like the beta of our pack that I am.
Let her outside, and – instead of shuffling back to my cotton sheets – I noticed how clear the sky was and how gorgeous the stars were. I mean, even with half-opened eyes I’m noticing this, so you KNOW they were stunning.
Decided to sit outside and wait for her. Be one with nature for a few moments.
So, I’m sitting outside, star-gazing, and I notice light coming from the kitchen. The fridge is open and my son is stood staring at the contents.
Oh this is great. I’m already rubbing my hands together in mischief. Butters is ready to go back in, and so am I.
I walk in the front door and got the reaction I was hoping for from Nic. He did the full on, trying to find purchase with his feet, mouth agape, arm flail STARTLE move. Classic. Absolutely classic.
Tangent time:
I have never ONCE responded to a scare with a blood curdling scream – not once. Why is that the way they portray it in movies?? My response is usually a “SShit!” combined with some sort of body shudder. I call shenanigans on authentic movie scare responses.
Anyway, Nic’s response was authentic, and OH so satisfying.
I nonchalantly continued to my room, in a cloud of smug. 🙂
SO worth the 2:15 wake up.
Was up anyway so checked my email. Found the email I wanted (and pathetically live for these days – the send receive button is hit more than my snooze button and my knee on my desk lately.)
NOW I could go back to sleep. Content. All was right with my little world.
Then came the alarm … and preparing to conquer the mortgage world alone.
The loan officer I process for is on a mini-cruise, and, I already had a TON of work waiting for me.
I braced myself and confidently entered the building.
Day started off with an offer for an additional job. So, that would make 3. I took it. Hey – I am not turning down an opportunity to make extra money!
I have to be able to support myself in the manner to which I’d like to become accustomed – you know, like, having groceries and paying the rent AND being able to look at the ‘nice’ shampoo section.
After that, things went pretty well considering. (Except for having no access to the VA website and three VA files desperately in need of me HAVING access.)
Discovered what it must feel like to be a pet today too … one of the realtors was filling his M & M jar.
I heard that sound and my ears pricked up and my head tilted to one side. Came prancing out to make sure it was in fact candy, and not kibble being deposited in a bowl. Nope. M & M’s for sure. My afternoon was looking up.
I won’t bore you with the exciting life of loan processing (saving that for an entire post lol) Fast forward to now … here I am, sharing my exciting day with you lovely people, and looking forward to hitting send/receive on my email.
Because:
Happy Friday everyone!
What happened to responsible journalism – mini rant
I had this romantic notion of journalism. I envisioned journalists traveling corners of the world for truth. Verifying through extensive research and fact checking, the validity of their stories.
I picture a journalist much like an archeologist – actually, in my head, my inner-journalist is wearing an Indiana Jones outfit, sans whip, and has just landed in the nick of time to get his story to the editor at the last minute – again. But the editor doesn’t mind – he knows the story will be good. The story will have substance. And he knows his journalist has sources he probably won’t disclose, but he has them – to back up his words.
That’s the way I picture it anyway.
But it’s not really the case these days is it? Such a shame, because some media outlets today have turned a dignified profession into an embarrasing tabloid one.
There are a couple of books I read and really enjoyed that enlightened me more on this topic – having more to do with how the press affect on-going cases in the public eye. We now have a ‘court of public opinion’ rather than a ‘jury of our peers’ when it comes to high profile cases, thanks to the media.
Jodi Picoult “The Pact” and Gillian Flynn “Gone Girl” touch on this powerfully. Not everything is as it seems …
During research (yes, I do research) for a piece I wrote, I had the misfortune to read some articles by a ‘respected’ journalist that has made my blood boil. Much to my chagrin, I keep reading it too. But, there are others who read the same piece that do not consider there is ‘another side.’ Or that *Shock* perhaps the journalist isn’t being entirely truthful.
I won’t mention the author or the topic – but suffice it to say, his work was peppered with his own obvious tainted feelings on his subject of choice. It’s hard to refrain from a rebuttal, but I promised I would. I keep my promises.
You could say that my last few paragraphs are equally guilty of being biased – but, this is my blog – stuffed full of my own opinions, I’ve certainly never claimed to be a resource for fact and news.
On the upside, I haven’t thought of Jodi Arias in a while – the media moves on and so do our thoughts. Of course, when a new jury is selected for the penalty phase of her trial, we’ll be inundated with her again.
Debauchery Soup 