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The quandary of Facebook

Ok.  I’ll admit it.  I’m ‘one of them.’


I’m the diary chick.

SO not a ‘status’ chick.  “I am currently writing a blog.” <POST> nah.

But, in my defense, I’m also VERY selective with my ‘friends.’  And I quote that because I see people with hundreds upon HUNDREDS of friends and I just don’t get it?

Facebook is not LinkedIn … Facebook, I thought, was a personal web page of sorts that you communicated from to your favorite friends and family?

I have under 100 ‘friends.’

I share too much.

I have also found myself deleting posts after posts because I feel inadequate or unable to be ‘real’ even with my selected friends.


Insecurities obviously … But, also, because THEIR lives SEEM so freaking amazing.  I feel I fall short when I am honest.

And if you’re going with the above cartoon, then WHY is a photo of food not acceptable????


If we’re keeping it to ‘status’ only, then, what I’m eating is perfectly appropriate.  Right?

I enjoy such features as IM.  Instant messaging friends from all over the planet – for FREE!

No phone bill.

No stamps. (Although, I DO miss hand written letters.)

Off Tangent.

I have decided Facebook users fall into the following categories:

*The fantasy poster* – You ONLY hear good from them and their lives sound like they have a unicorn in their backyard and rainbows and confetti in their front yard – and you will NEVER live up to their marriage/relationship/mothering/fathering skills.

(Problem I have with these friends is that I actually judge myself – compare myself TO them.)

*The sometimes poster*  – They really only remember Facebook when they’re NOT living their lives – because they’re real, and maybe they’ll share something fun with you.  But, who know’s what’s going on in between.

*The work poster* – They’re busy, but want to advocate their occupation.  You’ll get glimpses of their lives IF they decide it merits sharing and the post is innocuous – but mostly, it’s about work.

*The semi-honest poster* – Shares when they’re sad or happy – when their kids/partner/selves are sick or tired – but will stop at anything embarrassing.

*The Stalker* – They’re your friend, and occasionally will ‘like’ a post, but mostly just hangs back and reads everyone’s statuses and won’t share a damn thing.


* The over sharer (me) – will purge EVERYTHING without thought and regret it later.  Usually will delete.



Thing is – I’m a writer!!!! I AM!  I was published by 10.  Have never stopped wanting to share.  And this is why my friend list is short.  And this is why I keep diminishing it – because I don’t WANT to stop being honest.  I don’t WANT to have to edit myself.

MY Facebook IS my personal page.  And anyone invited should seriously consider it an honor (tongue in cheek) because I just don’t trust many people.

I’ll be purging all over the place AND deleting – because that IS what I do.

God forbid I actually get a book published – would be pretty hard to delete. 😉

Um, and by the way … Check THIS out.  After hitting review:



What I was even going to originally write about on Sunday was Stefan Kiesbye.

But then I felt bad – like I’d cornered him. (My issues, no reality there.)

He is my favorite author.

AND, a friend on Facebook.


Yes, I had even deleted my innocuous Valentines post to my friends and family.

Funny thing is – I got a message from Rainer on Valentine’s Day – and I remembered asking him to get Stefan’s autograph for me at a book fair in Europe.

ANYWAY! If you haven’t read these – you really should …



The Staked Plains – (when I got an ARC I FLIPPED out!)

And – my favorite ….


Bottom line I guess … I want to be real.  I don’t want to delete a moment.  I want to share EVERYTHING with you.  Was watching a movie today (can’t remember which – I got Netflixbewitched) and one of the quotes went something like … I can’t remember.  But it was important.  And hey, mid-forties, cut me a break.  Maybe THAT’S why I share everything?  Because a year from now, Facebook is going to remind me I have a memory.

Musings from the Laundromat: Website Edition

I got here later than usual – and as a result, I have a lot more company.

I am at a table completely foreign to me – exposed in the middle of the room. I prefer to face the door with no one behind me.  I don’t like the sensation that someone could be reading over my shoulder.  (Which is odd when you consider that what I’m writing I publish for all to see.)

I am finding myself even missing the giant rainbow umbrella table!

I am in uncharted laundry waters.

Here is my view:


Have to say, I much prefer my laundry basket to those in front of me:


Back to uncharted waters.

I spent most of yesterday and the night – creating a website.  At this point, as I sit at my strange little exposed table I am feeling

Other than this site, I have never created a website before – and when it is for something as important as the subject I was presenting, the stress multiplies.

Somehow, with the help of clickable question marks and trial and error – I got it up and running.



Of course, there is always tweaking to be done.  Things you notice the next day when your eyes and brain have rested.

After getting more feedback and translations from Rainer,  I went back to the desk and edited.

You know, there are some words that can turn your blood to ice in your veins, and I can testify that some of those words are: “Unable to Save.”

After my initial palpitations and cursing in my head – I switched to logical mode and tried to solve the problem.

Shut down, restart.  Nope.  Try Chrome instead of Firefox. Nope.  Update Chrome because you’ve been ignoring all the ‘update’ messages for a very long time now.  Nope. Shut down, restart again.

I came to the conclusion that the issue must be with the site and not with me.  And I am hoping this is not an indication of their servers.  The domain is claimed – the site created – so if editing is a recurring problem, that will not be good.  I will have to take the domain name elsewhere.

Without further ado: I now present to you, in all it’s ‘not completely edited’ glory:

In all seriousness – it is the website for Rainer’s book.  It will be available next year in English.  The German version is available now.

It is so VERY important that we do not forget!  History has a way of repeating itself, personally and globally, when we do not learn from the past!

The book recounts the past and answers frequently asked questions of ‘how’ and ‘why’ Rainer continues to do what he does.

Speaking out against your family for the right reasons is brave – and good.

As I said to Rainer: ‘Remember, there is such GOOD.’

And I am humbled and honored to have had the opportunity to play a small part in it.

Caution: The Twitter twit is tweeting


I have not had the slightest desire to ‘tweet’.  But, I have been coveting the little Twitter boxes I see here and there.  I wanted one. 

I also knew for sure I was not going to add a Facebook box to my blog.

I’m old school.  If you’re my friend on Facebook, either

a) We’re related. 

b) I have spent actual time with you and like you

c) I have seen you naked


d) You were deemed worthy of reading my unedited status updates and are among the few, the proud, ‘the trusted’.

I do not accept every friend request I get.  I see some and think “who the hell IS that??”  Then I see some and think “I know who you are … and, no thank you.”

It’s not mean!  I am selective! 

We know by now that I speak first and think later.  My friends understand this. 

Although – of late – I am having to keep my mouth shut about some wonderful things, and it’s killing me softly.

Anyway, there is some anonymity here – and I can be just as random and silly and anonymous on Twitter.

Bottom line, (see, I still reign as Tangent Queen) – I wasn’t about to set up another Facebook account just for my blog. 

I succumbed to peer pressure and figured a Twitter account would be a great addition to the blog. 

I could have the cool ‘follow me’ box and another venue to show off a naked mole rat.  Only … my naked mole rat wouldn’t fit in my damn profile box. 

Just the first of many Twitter obstacles in Debauchery Soup’s path.

I think I’ve mentioned I research.  I research the hell out of things.  I wasn’t about to just start Tweeting away without knowing what things do and why they do them.

My first google search? 


No, seriously.  I had to google when and how to hashtag! 

And much to my surprise, you can’t just go hash-tagging randomly! 

You can’t. 

It’s sort of like tagging on here. 

God forbid I #debauchery and end up in some category with wild orgies and girls gone wild!! 

Did not know that about the #.  Now I do. 

Followers … I only have two so far.  One is one of my favorite bloggers on WordPress, and the other is one of my favorite people.  So, I’m good with that.


This is not about numbers – this is about having that little box on the right hand side of this page you’re reading – let’s not forget.

I wanted the little box. I now have one. 🙂

I figured out how to ‘@’ !  My Twitter feathers ruffled with pride. 


Now if I could only figure out how to fit my Mole Rat into my profile, I’d be golden.