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The quandary of Facebook

Ok.  I’ll admit it.  I’m ‘one of them.’


I’m the diary chick.

SO not a ‘status’ chick.  “I am currently writing a blog.” <POST> nah.

But, in my defense, I’m also VERY selective with my ‘friends.’  And I quote that because I see people with hundreds upon HUNDREDS of friends and I just don’t get it?

Facebook is not LinkedIn … Facebook, I thought, was a personal web page of sorts that you communicated from to your favorite friends and family?

I have under 100 ‘friends.’

I share too much.

I have also found myself deleting posts after posts because I feel inadequate or unable to be ‘real’ even with my selected friends.


Insecurities obviously … But, also, because THEIR lives SEEM so freaking amazing.  I feel I fall short when I am honest.

And if you’re going with the above cartoon, then WHY is a photo of food not acceptable????


If we’re keeping it to ‘status’ only, then, what I’m eating is perfectly appropriate.  Right?

I enjoy such features as IM.  Instant messaging friends from all over the planet – for FREE!

No phone bill.

No stamps. (Although, I DO miss hand written letters.)

Off Tangent.

I have decided Facebook users fall into the following categories:

*The fantasy poster* – You ONLY hear good from them and their lives sound like they have a unicorn in their backyard and rainbows and confetti in their front yard – and you will NEVER live up to their marriage/relationship/mothering/fathering skills.

(Problem I have with these friends is that I actually judge myself – compare myself TO them.)

*The sometimes poster*  – They really only remember Facebook when they’re NOT living their lives – because they’re real, and maybe they’ll share something fun with you.  But, who know’s what’s going on in between.

*The work poster* – They’re busy, but want to advocate their occupation.  You’ll get glimpses of their lives IF they decide it merits sharing and the post is innocuous – but mostly, it’s about work.

*The semi-honest poster* – Shares when they’re sad or happy – when their kids/partner/selves are sick or tired – but will stop at anything embarrassing.

*The Stalker* – They’re your friend, and occasionally will ‘like’ a post, but mostly just hangs back and reads everyone’s statuses and won’t share a damn thing.


* The over sharer (me) – will purge EVERYTHING without thought and regret it later.  Usually will delete.



Thing is – I’m a writer!!!! I AM!  I was published by 10.  Have never stopped wanting to share.  And this is why my friend list is short.  And this is why I keep diminishing it – because I don’t WANT to stop being honest.  I don’t WANT to have to edit myself.

MY Facebook IS my personal page.  And anyone invited should seriously consider it an honor (tongue in cheek) because I just don’t trust many people.

I’ll be purging all over the place AND deleting – because that IS what I do.

God forbid I actually get a book published – would be pretty hard to delete. 😉

Um, and by the way … Check THIS out.  After hitting review:



What I was even going to originally write about on Sunday was Stefan Kiesbye.

But then I felt bad – like I’d cornered him. (My issues, no reality there.)

He is my favorite author.

AND, a friend on Facebook.


Yes, I had even deleted my innocuous Valentines post to my friends and family.

Funny thing is – I got a message from Rainer on Valentine’s Day – and I remembered asking him to get Stefan’s autograph for me at a book fair in Europe.

ANYWAY! If you haven’t read these – you really should …



The Staked Plains – (when I got an ARC I FLIPPED out!)

And – my favorite ….


Bottom line I guess … I want to be real.  I don’t want to delete a moment.  I want to share EVERYTHING with you.  Was watching a movie today (can’t remember which – I got Netflixbewitched) and one of the quotes went something like … I can’t remember.  But it was important.  And hey, mid-forties, cut me a break.  Maybe THAT’S why I share everything?  Because a year from now, Facebook is going to remind me I have a memory.

Mirror Mirror on the Wall

What to say about this guest writer?  I met this amazing woman when I was young – in my first real apartment working my first real full-time job – I think it’s safe to say where, as neither of us are near there anymore, Pebble Beach. (OMG, I was my sons age!) and my thoughts about her then were that she was a beautiful ‘broad’.  Let me clarify.  I think of ‘broad’  as a compliment.  Someone who knows who she is, doesn’t take crap and knows where she wants to go.  Spoke her mind, was amazing at her job and was someone I looked up to. I was blessed to get to be a part of her friend circle – I, to this day, have no clue why she let me  in.  I mean, I was seriously green – making all my first mistakes and was not anywhere close to being a ‘broad’. (Still not there yet lol).

I spent time with her and her husband Steve.  House sat for them once and tended to their iguana?  It was either a ginormous iguana or a wingless dragon that struck fear into my heart – but I did it because I felt honored to be asked.

I remember a military picnic of sorts with her and loved spending the time and loved that she invited me.

(Time plays tricks, did I house sit or just meet the dragon at that picnic??)

We lost touch, as people who carry on through life out of arms reach do – and found one another on Facebook years later.

Now we’re both moms and she’s still with her love.  ( I LOVE that part)

A couple of years ago, she sent me a book and an essay she wrote.  The deal was, I was to pay that forward, write my own essay, send it and the book to someone.  I have greedily held onto the book – and the essay.  I will forward it when I’m ready.  When I feel I’m in a place to offer any kind of wisdom without feeling like I don’t even take my own advice.

I called her out on Facebook to be my next  guest writer and she obliged.  I give to you – Ann – (You can’t have all of her – just this for now.  But trust me, she IS the sort of woman who would give you all of her.   Kind, compassionate, generous, loving …. anyway – tangent)



Ok Here it is. Mirror Mirror On The Wall

I have always been aware of the mirrors on the wall. Big, small, ornate or simple I have greeted each mirror with the understanding that it is a true reflection of what is before it.

For many many years I have seen mirrors with both a true reflection and a “magnified” reflection. Assuming that the magnification was intended to witness blemishes and faults in the epidermis of us all I appreciated its purpose. Then suddenly the other day I realized its true purpose.

I am 50 and quite comfortable in my own skin and body and believe me it is not perfect. I was fortunate to have been at my best physically between the ages of 17 and 22. (thanks Mom & Dad for the good genes among other things).

So on to the mirror. It is two-faced; true and big. Going to apply simple eyeliner I threw on my “readers” as I can see virtually nothing without them, only to realize haha I cannot apply with them on.

Of course!

And then I know, it is an epiphany.

That is what the magnification side of the mirror is for, aging people applying make-up!

Just goes to prove viewing something from another perspective is always an opportunity for education. Different perspective, different answers. It is all in what you see and what you need.



Musings from the Laundromat: Facebook Food

I could have sworn Monday was the 30th – so when I spotted gummy eyeballs in a store I had to have them.  (This  is going somewhere.)  I figured I would  put my little pumpkin/ghost bowl out a few days early in anticipation of October.  I love October!  By Halloween we desert residents find  the need for a light cardigan at night and sometimes even long pants!   My favorite Seasons in the  desert are Autumn and Winter.

So out came the bowl –



Dark, I know – but he likes it that way.   We all know I have a fondness for gummy eyeballs – I’m reminded of this photo – can’t recall the post.


It wasn’t until Saturday that I realized I was ahead of myself by more than a few days … as my son pointed out ‘Now our house is like Wal-Mart’ – Not true! ! I have no Christmas decorations up yet!

Funny thing is,  I awoke to being tagged in this photo on my Facebook account by a friend – they know me – they really do.


Saturday was also Facebook food day.

Ever see a recipe someone posts on their wall and think – ‘hmmm, that looks good, I should try that’ and then never do?  Yeah, me too.

Saturday however, I made these.


I actually pulled it off!  If you’re one of those people that makes a hot meal in the morning for your family (i am not one of those people) then I’m giving this two thumbs up and recommending you try it.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees – pop a slice of ham in a muffin pan – crack an egg right into the ‘ham cup’ add whatever tidbits please you – I just used red onion, sharp cheddar, salt and pepper.  then cook for 15 minutes.  Ta-da!

I was dubious about how the egg would end up being cooked, so I scrambled a couple.  I prefered the whole egg ones.  I’d describe them as over medium.  SO good.

Then it was off to my moms for lunch.  She had lured me in with promises of hors d’oeuvres, smoked salmon and goat cheese salad AND dessert.  Not much gets me out of the house on a Saturday – but seeing my mom, eating and getting to watch a movie she recorded and said was hilarious had me heading out the door.

The salad was … EXQUISITE!  Everything complimented everything else on the plate, it was hard not to get a perfect bite on every forkful.


Then dessert.

Heres another Facebook recipe that had shown up.  Turned out to be a lovely memory for my mom and I, as she would make baked apples when I was little.

Also, it was fun playing with the little pastry cage.  She put hers on her  dog’s head and I imitated Hannibal Lecter by putting mine over my mouth.  Yes, playing with your food is acceptable.


I was stuffed.


Oh and the movie?  ‘Big Ass Spider’  which WAS hilarious thanks to Jose the Security guy and the protagonist the Bug guy.

Mostly because of Jose.  He delivered lines that literally had me laughing out loud for all the right reasons – considering it was a SyFy movie.  You know what I mean – Sharknado is fun to watch, but none of us watched it for the acting.

The scene in the morgue had me in stitches – no pun intended.


So make a Facebook food – watch Big Ass Spider and put out your Halloween knick knacks if you want to!  Life is short!  In the meantime, I’m working on a controversial piece that is requiring lots of research – so the musings will be a little more serious next weekend.

‘Til then!


Musings from the laundromat: We have contact! Edition

Best laundromat time EVER!

I was thinking about what to write about, since I purged my creative stomach this morning in my awake and naked post … when my Facebook IM dinged at me.


Not only did I get to chat with my baby – but he posted lots of photos.

Photos AND interaction – LOVE IT! I walked around the laundromat, smiling – with tears in my eyes.  SO happy to talk to him.  🙂

*Told you.  Us girls – we are bundles of emotions that need human interaction.  And if that human happens to be someone we love, we are undone.*

In return, I sent him a photo of me holding a sock.  With the caption: I’m a free elf!

I am a nerd.  And if you understand that caption, you have a little nerd in you too. 😉

So far, Nic’s favorite thing has been the pub food.  I’m sure as he does and sees more, that will change. I hope so anyway. LOL!

Without further ado – here are some of the photos he shared.

The house I grew up in!

The house I grew up in!

Windsor Castle

Windsor Castle

Windsor street

Windsor street

Swans. They look so innocent, but they'll attack ;)

Swans. They look so innocent, but they’ll attack 😉

OMG. Cadburys!

OMG. Cadburys!

It figures! LOL!

It figures! LOL!

Day 3 sans Nic: Still tired!

Sitting on the couch forcing myself to write this post.  I don’t want to go from ‘Day one’ to ‘Nic’s back!’

I’m waiting for that moment that I come home or AM home and catch up on the rest that always alludes me.

I’ve come to the conclusion, that Nic was never the cause of my exhaustion.  Well, not since he’s been able to dress, bathe, feed and relocate himself without my assistance.

Interesting findings.

So – work, pet and chores appear to be the culprits.

Other noticeable changes, when I go into the freezer for an ice cube, there ARE ice cubes.  I haven’t been through a fast food drive through since he left.  And from the looks of the laundry basket,  I will only be occupying one washing machine tomorrow.

Butters has been very aware of Nic’s absence.  When she barks, much to my chagrin, it’s now with an urgency and suspicion.  Which is increasingly creeping me out at night. She’s ‘on guard’ without having been appointed the position.

Animals are so aware.

She was rewarded with a bath Friday night (okay, she didn’t see it that way) and this morning I sang her the theme song to the ‘Love Boat’.  She was thrilled the first time.

The second time, I recorded it and shared it on Facebook.  She had the audacity to yawn in the middle of my crooning.

Awoke to a Facebook IM from Nic, first actual contact,  it said “Ello govna!”  I did manage a mild eye roll even as sleepy as I was.

Of course, it was sent at 3:45 am my time, so I didn’t get to chat with him.

He and my mom and my uncle were off to Windsor today.  Something sweet about my son going to the town where I was born.

I hope to share some photos when he posts them.  So far, he photographed a couple shots from the plane’s window, two photos of his in flight food and one picture of the view from my uncles flat window.  (Yes, I know windows are flat, I’m referring to his apartment window.)




I shall now watch my usual Saturday night English comedies, and bid you a good Saturday night.

So does Butters.