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Musings from the Laundromat: Little Basket, Blue Ticket and Panty Lines
8:15 a.m.
The ground is wet outside from a recent storm that passed through our thirsty desert – the sky is clear, birds are singing – and I’m sat in an almost empty laundromat at a table that is always my 3rd choice to perch at.
There is a couple at the ‘umbrella table’. I regarded them as I stuffed two washing machines to their capacity. (I was stuffing mostly because I was too lazy to stop half way through and go back to the ‘Value Transfer Machine’ and add more money to my laundry card.) As I was doing this, another couple came in the back door.
“Still here huh?”
“Yeah” said the umbrella table couple.
I wanted to interject some sarcasm – but kept my head down and stuffed. Why do we do that? Confirm that people right in front of us are, in fact, actually there? Or ask acquaintances that we see in a grocery store or a bank “Hi! What are you doing here?”
8:30 a.m.
I noticed this little tiny laundry basket unattended when I first sat down.
Can you see it? Barely? That’s how little it is. I sat and wondered, while typing, who the owner of the basket was and how much laundry could possibly fit in it to warrant a trip here.
I mean seriously, compare the hangers to the basket and probably, what, only 5 shirts?
Mystery was solved for me.
There are now bags on the folding table as the owner of the little tiny basket returned.
That’s more than 5 shirts.
The basket was a red herring.
He’s back outside in his car now – not before bending over at the dryers and giving me an eyefull that made a very clear point that Mr. Little Basket needs a belt.
8:40 a.m.
Time to check my washing machines.
8:45 a.m.
They were finished. And I ended up making that trip to the ‘Value Transfer Machine’ after I also stuffed the driers and realized they would need more time to successfully dry my stuffings.
Why do I have so much laundry today?? Nic must have worn every pair of jeans, shorts and t-shirts he owned last week. OR (and this is probably closer to the truth) I’ve just washed clean clothes that somehow returned to his hamper.
I found these in his pockets – another mystery!
The receipt is for Carls Jr. – no mystery there – but the ticket! Hmmm … wonder when he got that. Is there a prize on the line? Or did it grant him access to a meal somewhere. And if it is food related, why is he going to Carls Jr. and blue ticket places without me?
8:55 a.m.
Okay, since I’ve shared about other’s laundry, I’ll tell you a funny story about me.
Yesterday I was getting dressed while half awake – and as I was walking from the closet to my master bathroom, I noticed something in the mirror.
You know I’ve been working out, and I’m actually seeing results. There are muscles on my belly where no muscles have been before. It’s really quite exciting.
So I’m walking – and noticing – and my eyes widen and I think “Oh! That is a LOT of definition!’
I got closer to the mirror and felt like a complete idiot.
Here is a photo of what I saw (only much blurrier in reality)
It was the string of my underwear.
Hey! From across the room it looked an awful lot like that ‘V’ I see on muscle-y people going from their hips on down!
I laughed pretty hard at that before I took the photo.
9:05 a.m.
Time to wrap this up and do the ‘Drier Dance’. This is when I snatch dry items out, while leaving the damp items in to continue on their tumble, and shuffle back and forth to the folding tables.
Oh! Thought you’d like to see how capable ‘Little Basket’ was of holding things.
This looks like a complete set of bedding!
Morals of today’s musings:
Never judge a man by the size of his laundry basket
If someone is right in front of you, they’re probably there
Underwear is not a muscle.
Musings from the Laundromat: ‘Green Blue and Red things’ Edition
Came SO close to not coming today.
I’ve been ill since Christmas, yesterday I felt a lot better after becoming one with the couch all day, only throwing clothes on for my weekend job.
This morning I woke at 5:30 am and ended up falling asleep again like some modern-day old lady. Instead of reading glasses slipping down my nose and a book in my hand, I nodded off with my ipad on my chest.
I dreamed then of my keys and trying to figure out how to take my dog through a mall and outside so that she could relieve herself.
Hey, if you’re going to dream, dream big right?
My subconscious was obviously telling me ‘get your arse up – you have somewhere to be and a 4 legged manatee that can’t let herself out. ‘
I realized at my second waking – that I felt rotten.
I mentally counted how many pairs of clean underwear I had remaining and decided it didn’t matter. I can’t relax knowing I have skipped a chore anyway.
So here I am.
Ooo! But not after this sign I ignored – I got into the car and the first lyrics I heard were those of a Maroon Five song.
“Please don’t go …”
Of course then I sat in the car wondering if Adam Levine knew something I didn’t.
Still – duty won out.
The drive was uneventful – then at the counter I was faced with a conundrum.
The laundromat leaves their key cards on the counter for you to select one. I usually pick yellow. Today there were only two, blue and green.
One of my favorite people on the planet favors the color blue, another, green.
What should have been a simple task of just grabbing a card became an internal conflict. Felt like I was picking one person over the other rather than a piece of plastic.
Yes, this is how my mind works (or malfunctions?) all the time.
I picked this one.
I hope the person who loves green doesn’t see.
_____________________
Found this in my sons pants pocket …
It’s a good thing I check pockets.
Last week I found his debit card – which made me wonder if perhaps the time to stop doing your child’s laundry for them is when they OWN a flipping debit card.
I have no idea what the ‘thing’ is. But judging from the three tiny batteries inside, it’s probably good I rescued it from a certain watery death.
I’ll ask him when I get home. I won’t be able to sleep tonight not knowing now.
_____________________
Clothes are now in the dryers.
It’s become ever more apparent that I’m under the weather – as my OCD is accompanying me on every small mission.
I picked dryer number 43 and dryer number 45 for the honor of participating in my task at hand.
Because I’m 44.
These next 30 minutes had better go fast, because I’ll either fall asleep at this table, with my head on my ipad – or start arranging the laundry carts according to color.
I think definitely I need more rest. After I clean the house – and discover what the ‘thing is.
Unless I hear a song with the lyrics: “Don’t clean” or “Don’t worry .. about a thing”
Wait – isn’t that Bob Marley??
He liked green too.
Musings from the Laundromat: Last muse of the Year
If I were ever going to be the person that wore their pajamas out in public, it would have been today. But I’m not and I didn’t.
Tossed and turned last night, with my tossing and turning only to be interrupted by brief and very odd, commercial length dreams. “This night of restlessness sponsored by ‘REM’.”
In between coughing and telling Butters to go lay down, I found myself helping someone find their small silver dog and sitting in on a table reading for a radio spot??
I’m not even going to bother trying to interpret those.
I’ve been awake (and I use that term loosely) for less than an hour and am now at my table after filling 3 washing machines.
I wanted to get here as early as possible so that I can go home and rest!
I’m still sick.
I tried to cheer myself up after it was clear I had to actually put clothes on this morning and announced to the dog “I’ll wear my pink underwear today!”
She didn’t much care – but I guess I thought a punch of secret color would put a little pep in my dragging step.
It hasn’t.
I’m pretty sure I look like a homeless person right now. A sick homeless person.
It hasn’t frightened anyone off so far though – in fact, two people struck up conversations with me while I was stuffing the machines with my offerings.
I should have coughed more.
That’s how I know (other than the uncontrollable coughing and general apathy) that I’m under the weather.
Any other day those people would have ended up in my blog – after I chatted their ears off and found out where they were from and what they did and who they loved and …. well – I suppose they’ve ended up in my blog anyway.
Let’s go back to before I got here.
Yeah – like that. Only, it was one 18 year-old child and I didn’t have my fun pink underwear on yet.
My son stood outside my bathroom, “Mom?”
“Yeah?”
“When are you going to do laundry?”
“Half an hour – why?”
Now, I was seriously thinking that because he was up so early maybe he had contracted my bug, OR, actually wanted to come with me.
No.
“Can you wake me up when you get back?”
Sigh.
He retreated to his wing of the house and I brushed my teeth and stepped on the scale.
Tangent.
I’m thin. I lost weight sensibly and over time and when I quit drinking, the rest of the weight slid off.
I did notice in one of the photos I had taken with Lisa however, that I looked too thin.
I brought it up to my mom yesterday who mentioned that she had been noticing and when my ‘skinny’ jeans are baggy it might mean I have lost too much weight.
They are baggy.
I eat! I do! I love food!
I think the method I used for losing the weight has stuck with me though. I only eat when I’m hungry. I don’t believe in Breakfast ‘time’, lunch ‘time’, dinner ‘time’ – I eat whenever I want and stop when I’m full.
Sometimes I eat like a hobbit and have second or third breakfasts – sometimes I only want my lunch all day. I listen to my body.
Pretty simple.
But yesterday I forced a meal down because I don’t want my skinny jeans to be baggy.
So I’m on the scale – and I’ve lost 2 pounds. I don’t know where they went! I’ve been stuffing my face with holiday food – I’ve had two friends take me to lunch (Thank you Ruth and Lisa) and been digging in to the sweets that were in my Christmas stocking.
Seriously – how am I now 5’9 (and a half) and 125 lbs?!
It bothers me.
I do not have an eating disorder, but the thought of eating just for the sake of gaining weight – of forcing food down that I am not hungry for … is repulsive to me. (Says the girl who ordered Foie Gras)
Food should be savored – appreciated – enjoyed!
I would say I’ll snack more – but I already do that!
During the week I constantly have food in my mouth – it’s become an office joke.
Anyway – so I need to gain weight.
Back to Nic and the fact that he was not offering to come to the laundromat with me.
I got a Barnes and Noble gift card for Christmas – and I think one of the books that I am going to have to buy is “The Little Red Hen”. I think that book should be mandatory reading for everyone. Period.
If you don’t contribute, you don’t get to enjoy the outcome.
You want to enjoy living in a clean house? Help clean it. You want clean clothes to wear? Help clean them. You want a happy life? Put positive things into it.
Which, brings me to one of the things I plan on ‘resolving’ to do for the New Year.
Less bitching.
I’m going to find my positive energy again. The power of positivity juxtaposed with my inability to edit myself may prove to be a problem, but I don’t expect results over night.
Perhaps if I constantly have food in my mouth, I won’t be able to gripe? Two birds, one stone.
Musings from the Laundromat: ‘Twas 3 nights before Christmas
This is my last musing from the laundromat before Christmas. I just peeked up from my table and over a washer to see if there were any decorations … I do see a fake poinsettia poked strategically in a fake potted plant – but other than that – nope.
Halloween they had a skeleton on the bathroom door – perhaps it is a paganmat – which would be fine by me, only I don’t see any solstice decorations either. No Yule altars on the folding tables.
Anyway, what was I saying? Oh yes, this is the last musing before Christmas (tangents are your gift, you’re welcome.)
I’ve decided I have the best friends on the planet.
Friday my friend Ruth brought tears to my eyes and renewed my faith that if you do the right things, and are kind – you DO receive kindness in return. The point is though, you shouldn’t expect it.
Kindness is magic. Right Derek?
It occurs to me, I really need to look into what photos I can use from the internet – but I can think of worst things than Ricky Gervais asking me to remove something.
‘Madame, kindly (the magical kind) remove the photo of me and the dog.’ Or, ‘Madame, kindly (still the magical kind) remove your clothing.’ :-O Ricky!!!
Back to expecting things.
Anyone who knows me knows I don’t expect anything. Almost to the point of channeling Eeyore. Hope from time to time? Yes. But certainly don’t expect.
Yesterday I went shopping – it wasn’t as bonkers as I was expecting. (Oh my goodness! I DO expect things.)
I didn’t cross everything off of my list, but got to say ‘Merry Christmas’ a few times and had the experience of being outside with other humans, so it was overall pretty great.
That’s another facet to this season I was missing. I was telling my friend Betty … I haven’t BEEN anywhere! One of my favorite things about the holiday season is the cheer and good nature from strangers.
It’s hard to bump into a stranger and witness cheer or good nature when I’m either in an office, driving to and from the office, or in my house (Gawd, I would HOPE I didn’t ‘bump into’ a stranger whilst driving! Or in my house. Because we know, Butters is crap at protecting me.)
Betty gave me some pretty adorable little earrings. (She knows me – she knows I only do ‘little’.)
She also gave me a ceramic gingerbread house that warms oil that Nic has adopted. That child has inherited my love of scents it seems.
He keeps absconding with candles and air freshening devices into his room.
The entire house smells of peppermint this morning courtesy of the late night fragrance kid.
Speaking of fragrances – after my shopping experience, I checked the mail.
There was a small box for me from my friend Rachel.
An entire bag of samples!!! I was over the moon. 🙂 She read my December 15th post and was sweet enough to send me more ‘little scents’ to be excited about.
(Probably I should hide them from Nic. Although – he hasn’t shown any interest in my perfumes yet … just household fragrance devices.)
So this brings me to wonder, if I blog about something – will it be sent to me?
If so – here’s what else I love.
Kindness for you.
Health and happiness for you and yours.
Wishes to come true for you.
Love for you.
And serenity and a peaceful heart – for you.
I’ll take a naked mole rat colony please and Santa, I’ve been good, may I please have my lobster?
The laundromat ‘muses’ back
And on a Sunday no less! Talk about timing!
I moderate my comments. I can’t think of anything I wouldn’t approve – but it’s good to have the option.
I’m alerted in my email box when I have a comment – and here’s one I received today:
I haven’t clicked on the source, but I think it’s safe to assume it’s probably not from my laundromat.
There’s almost a sad facet to this – considering someone promoting laundry services probably searched the topic and up came my blog.
Has it come to this? People can find my words – my soul and my heart by putting ‘laundry’ in the search box? LOL!
Well played laundromat, well played. You have amused me.
2014 I’ll be sure to make an effort to add more exciting search terms to my life.
Debauchery Soup 