What I’ve learned so far living with my guy
I was excited!
I was sure!
I was making room for another – and in all the insanity of removing 1/2 my life from my small home, it didn’t dawn on me right away that I was also …
TERRIFIED!
As comfortable as I was with my man – everything was about to change.
My routine would now include another.
And let’s face it, some of those routines have no room for another.
How was I going to use the bathroom?? How was I going to get through an entire night without ‘noises’ and I’m not talking about snoring.
How was I going to look as presentable as I did on Skype first thing in the morning?
There was maybe a week of ‘awkward’ as we both found our footing. He, learning to be ‘at home’ in a strange environment. Me, learning to be ‘at home’ with someone sharing it with me.
But then … everything just clicked into place.
If you’re living with the right person, things do fall into place.
Also, everything I was SO sure I NEEDED in a relationship (personal space, time apart, separate interests etc.) proved not to be so.
My DVR is piling up with shows I religiously watched B.J. <– ‘Before Jim’ (what did you THINK I meant?)
My living room rarely sees me anymore, (it startles now when I enter it) – the couch has forgotten what it’s like to have me nap on it.
Netflix is feeling pretty superior lately though. It’s getting a LOT of attention in our bedroom, and sometimes, it get’s ignored/paused.
But it doesn’t mind.
Then there’s the animals.
This was a recent post of Jim’s on Facebook:
The animals I was SO worried about not getting along clearly ARE getting along.
We’ve found our rhythm … our groove.
It helps that we have so much in common. It helps that we have history. It helps that we’re friends. It helps that we actually love each other. It helps that we both have a similar sense of humor and it definitely helps that we laugh … A LOT.
Onto the things I’ve learned … and I’ll get a little serious here:
- Men like to be spooned too! You can’t always be the little spoon. He’s chosen you to spend his life with – men need to feel adored, appreciated, cherished and loved as much as you do!
- You think your partner is beautiful sleeping, waking up, with food on their t-shirt etc. right? They feel the same way. And if they don’t – maybe you should reconsider your partner. Confidence and a smile go a lot further than lipstick any day!
- Too tired? Not feeling 100%? You are your partners one and only – and if they’re ‘desiring’ you, thank your lucky stars and be available. Of course, if you’re really exhausted or unwell, they’re going to understand and if they don’t – again – maybe you should reconsider your partner.
- Something bothering you? BRING IT UP! But, only after you make sure it’s an actual ‘bother’ and worth ‘bothering’ about. I learned this after bringing something up that probably I shouldn’t have. But, hey – live and learn.
- Say “Please” and “Thank You” Don’t take the love of your life for granted!
- Do things your partner will want to thank you for!
- Maintain SOME mystery … especially girls. OK, we know we’re all human – and have the same physical needs – and I’m guilty of NOT doing this in past relationships. No we’re not perfect windless Princesses – but waltzing into the bathroom while your man is shaving and readying yourself to evacuate your bowels is NOT SEXY. No it’s not. And I’m not going to even GOOGLE what probably is a niche that does find it so. *Shudder*
I know I’m going to make mistakes – I know there will be days he’s less enchanted with me. I know I may forget to say ‘Thank You’ from time to time – but I’m really going to try to remember my own advice, because it’s important to me. HE Is important to me. WE are important to me!
“Draw me, like one of your … wait!” NO! Not like any other girl!
So, I live with an artist.
Today, for the first time ever, Saturday, I said “Draw me!”
I meant draw us – for our mothers, for mothers day.
And I also said, “Not like I am right now”
Which, got a response of “That’s what everbody says!”
UG!!!!!!
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
I, in my whole life, NEVER asked my honey, who is awesome at drawing, TO DRAW ME!
I did not want to be a ‘sheeple’
A sheep!
I just wanted an oringal pic for our moms!
I decided to draw him … and he could draw me …
Can you tell who is the artist?
I bet it’s hard. lol.
Anyway – here’s another video – I’ve been slacking of late – but he has shaved since the awesome drawing I did. 😉
The one thing I’m good at – is being casual in videos – so here you go.
Musings from the Laundromat: Monday Night Edition
After a long day at work, I really can’t think of much less I’d rather be doing than sitting at the laundromat.
Then I spot 3 children in their school uniforms and think, probably their mom wants to be here even less than I do right now.
Big shout out to you moms by the way. The ones whose day isn’t over until everyone elses needs have been attended to – no matter how tired you are.
________________________
So there’s no disco ball … no club kids or anything.
No ‘unce unce’ throb of techno or singles eyeing each other.
Not sure what I expected to find after hours at the laundromat – but it’s pretty quiet, pretty empty.
Turns out my laundry lady wasn’t here yesterday either.
Her: It’s strange seeing you here tonight.
Me: Yeah, it’s strange being here.
Her: I wasn’t here yesterday – but I told my manager I had a regular who would want coffee.
All I could do at that point was give her my ‘Awwww! Thoughtful!’ eyes and shuffle over to the laundry card machine.
As for ‘night’ laundry, it’s still blindingly bright outside and was 96 degrees in the car on the way over here. Sort of takes the whole ‘night’ thing out of the equation doesn’t it?
And apparently I’m a morning writer – because I am at a loss for more words – and after typing for 8 1/2 hours – would rather not anymore.
Until we muse again!
Mothers Day 2015
What a wonderful weekend.
Spent with loved ones.
I’m finding out the most avoided tasks can be fun with a partner. The yard is cleared – weeded – raked.
Mothers Day found me very sleepy. Spent a lot of time catching up on sleep and in the process, laundry didn’t get done. So tonight I’ll be musing from the Laundromat … that will be different.
Night time edition – does that mean I can talk more about the undies that fall to the ground from the dryer?
Anyway – here’s some highlights from Mothers Day. My son literally gave me the shirt off of his back as I was chilly in the restaurant. What a chivalrous young man he’s become.
And, it’s perfectly acceptable by the way, at a buffet, to use dessert as an intermission before resuming with other food items. 😉
Until tonight …
Have a great Monday!
The Birth of Debauchery Soup – and how Fate reared its head to remind me
I was wide-eyed today.
Nothing much shocks me. Nothing much disturbs me (which is really sorta sad) , nothing much surprises me – and I cut my eyes at anything online with a very ‘going to check Snopes’ eye.
So – I live in the desert. That much has been offered up. I will not share where.
But, the one time of the year that the temperature is PERFECT, we have an obscene wind. A wind that whips through yards, blows patio furniture into pools – roof parts into neighbors yards etc.
My shed has taken this wind – and the wind has taken its toll.
Here’s the thing.
The shed used to be full.
I told my landlady that it was being destroyed bit by bit every strong wind we had.
It got to the point that each rain, my ‘things’ were being destroyed.
Items were ruined. Suitcases, Books (yeah, real ones, not the ones on nook – I had Lady Bird and Mr. Men books in there – 1st edition)
ANYWAY – taking the high road – and knowing these are FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS, I digress.
My landlady is sending someone out to remove the shed of death. Because, let’s face it, one more piece flys, and someone can be decapitated or property can be MAJORLY damaged!
She will have someone come out and dismantle the ‘death shed’.
I had my family (son and fiance) put shed items on the patio today – yesterday, bless his heart, my honey emptied the shed, but we were lookin’ like the neighbors with our shite out in the yard.
Going through it, I tossed tapes, yeah, TAPES, of music that I LOVED, salvaged photos of my son that had not been water drenched.
Many cards that mean nothing to me anymore and just ‘stuff’ I can live without.
During this, I found something very meaningful.
Stay with me – I know this is long.
Debauchery Soup.
Jim.
So, guess what?
Back in the day, in Professor Mooney’s class, we had to make 20 copies of what we wrote for the creative writing class.
It was passed out, anonymously, and our fellow classmates commented on it.
After Jim and I reconnected, I searched for a long time for ‘Purple Haze’ – the piece I wrote in college that began our collaboration on a comic.
We had shared a creative writing class.
(Commented on our writing in ink.)
I still have multiple copies of other writings, with comments, in my ‘memory box’.
But, I could not, for the LIFE of me, find my piece, ‘Purple Haze’.
And, yeah, I know what you’re thinking. But, I (sorry) had no knowledge at that time of Mr. Hendrix.
My dad went to New York on a business trip, and I asked him in my youthful ignorance, to bring me back something from ‘Bloomingdale’s’.
I got a neon phone.
And, it cast a purple haze on my room at night – it glowed pink during daytime.
It was see through – and amazing.
And inspired … ‘Purple Haze’.
Today, I came home early after collecting my prescriptions and with the need to go through, and clean out the items salvaged from the shed.
Guess what I found?
Too much foreshadowing?
lol.
Not only did I find ‘Purple Haze’.
The ONLY existing copy.
BUT.
The person who commented on it?
Yeah …
I know that handwriting.
The ONLY existing copy of Purple Haze – the predecessor to the Arnold art ….
was commented on by the one and only …. Jim. My current fiancée.
We shared that class. And the only copy has HIS handwriting on it.
Much like the picture above survived his Chicago house fire.
SO …. fate?????
And as for the blog name?
This was the actual day that I decided on a name for a book. After my ‘pill’ paragraph and the comment, ‘soupy’. How many people HAVE that?? Amazing.
I love that the only copy of Purple Haze has my future husbands handwriting on it – but it has one other persons also.
He did not write ‘Soupy’.
And I’m waiting for confirmation of who did.
And if it’s who I think it is – we have a bigger story. To be continued ….



















