Last sentence I said out loud: “I don’t know what I’m doing, I have a shitload of stuff!”
Metaphor for my life lol.
But, in actuality, I was carrying my iPad, my phone, my keyboard and my coffee into my bedroom.
Lately, things have been pretty amazing as far as ‘amazing’ can go when you’re alone, your favorite person is terminal and you’re hundreds of miles away from your guy.
In a moment of vanity, may we acknowledge how insanely odd the ‘pause’ button makes us look? LOL! OK, done with that.
SO! (Other than the fact I need to get a haircut …)
Obviously the call was from my guy. It’s getting harder and harder being in a long distance relationship. But, also, think it suits both of us, and that’s kind of scary.
Am I going to be 70 waiting for his call? Just happy to have my own space and look forward to a call? OR, can we one day come together? I know as much as you do.
As for my son.
They’re moving again in mid-July. The love of his life is continuing her education to get her Masters. I’m proud of them both, but, won’t lie (like I ever here) I wish he would find HIS niche. His ‘thing’. I didn’t for the longest time, and let’s face it, he’s been in a relationship longer than I ever have lol! So I’ll just shut up about that.
Speaking of kids and futures, I discovered today I may be a grandma …
See the blobs?
I think eggs. I was cleaning out the fish I inherited and didn’t scrub those.
OK, so, now a big ‘reveal’. The other night I posted a cryptic message on my Facebook. I HATE when people do that! But, I did it. I mentioned I was giggling on the porch and couldn’t mention why.
Well, I’ll tell you now.
First, let’s look at this weed that grew outside my office – I wanted to capture it before the gardeners pulled it. So beautiful.
AND we segue into … “One man’s weed is another man’s flower”.
Those that follow me know that I am fighting not only agoraphobia, but severe anxiety/panic disorder and a heart condition.
I do ok.
But, I was given some medical marijuana from someone with a card.
I was dubious and scared. I mean, today’s pot is NOT what I used to use.
Back in the day I remember laughing until my belly hurt under the stars camping, having ingested pot brownies.
I remember what pot USED to be.
I had a bad time with it a year or so ago. Too strong for me. I couldn’t even move my limbs.
Well, THIS has made a difference.
It’s been about a month now.
I went from having 4+ attacks per week to maybe one every two weeks.
Able to not only drive to a shop (no, not while ON it – stays in the system I think) but go IN and do my shopping.
Also, sleeping a whole lot better.
Unfortunately, this is the last of it. But, seriously, marijuana needs to be legal medicinally everywhere!
Much better than the 3 toxic pills I take twice a day!!!
I, personally, can’t afford to get approved or afford a card. But, having experimented, I can say that it helped BIG time!
You know, with my “Shitload of stuff”. Lol.
So it’s Friday – and … I took Monday and Tuesday OFF! WOOT! WOOT!
Want to chill and be silly and nap and watch movies – a ‘staycation.’
We also did a video tonight for you.
I was wide-eyed today.
Nothing much shocks me. Nothing much disturbs me (which is really sorta sad) , nothing much surprises me – and I cut my eyes at anything online with a very ‘going to check Snopes’ eye.
So – I live in the desert. That much has been offered up. I will not share where.
But, the one time of the year that the temperature is PERFECT, we have an obscene wind. A wind that whips through yards, blows patio furniture into pools – roof parts into neighbors yards etc.
My shed has taken this wind – and the wind has taken its toll.
Here’s the thing.
The shed used to be full.
I told my landlady that it was being destroyed bit by bit every strong wind we had.
It got to the point that each rain, my ‘things’ were being destroyed.
Items were ruined. Suitcases, Books (yeah, real ones, not the ones on nook – I had Lady Bird and Mr. Men books in there – 1st edition)
ANYWAY – taking the high road – and knowing these are FIRST WORLD PROBLEMS, I digress.
My landlady is sending someone out to remove the shed of death. Because, let’s face it, one more piece flys, and someone can be decapitated or property can be MAJORLY damaged!
She will have someone come out and dismantle the ‘death shed’.
I had my family (son and fiance) put shed items on the patio today – yesterday, bless his heart, my honey emptied the shed, but we were lookin’ like the neighbors with our shite out in the yard.
Going through it, I tossed tapes, yeah, TAPES, of music that I LOVED, salvaged photos of my son that had not been water drenched.
Many cards that mean nothing to me anymore and just ‘stuff’ I can live without.
During this, I found something very meaningful.
Stay with me – I know this is long.
So, guess what?
Back in the day, in Professor Mooney’s class, we had to make 20 copies of what we wrote for the creative writing class.
It was passed out, anonymously, and our fellow classmates commented on it.
After Jim and I reconnected, I searched for a long time for ‘Purple Haze’ – the piece I wrote in college that began our collaboration on a comic.
We had shared a creative writing class.
(Commented on our writing in ink.)
I still have multiple copies of other writings, with comments, in my ‘memory box’.
But, I could not, for the LIFE of me, find my piece, ‘Purple Haze’.
And, yeah, I know what you’re thinking. But, I (sorry) had no knowledge at that time of Mr. Hendrix.
My dad went to New York on a business trip, and I asked him in my youthful ignorance, to bring me back something from ‘Bloomingdale’s’.
I got a neon phone.
And, it cast a purple haze on my room at night – it glowed pink during daytime.
It was see through – and amazing.
And inspired … ‘Purple Haze’.
Today, I came home early after collecting my prescriptions and with the need to go through, and clean out the items salvaged from the shed.
Guess what I found?
Too much foreshadowing?
Not only did I find ‘Purple Haze’.
The ONLY existing copy.
The person who commented on it?
I know that handwriting.
The ONLY existing copy of Purple Haze – the predecessor to the Arnold art ….
was commented on by the one and only …. Jim. My current fiancée.
We shared that class. And the only copy has HIS handwriting on it.
Much like the picture above survived his Chicago house fire.
SO …. fate?????
And as for the blog name?
This was the actual day that I decided on a name for a book. After my ‘pill’ paragraph and the comment, ‘soupy’. How many people HAVE that?? Amazing.
I love that the only copy of Purple Haze has my future husbands handwriting on it – but it has one other persons also.
He did not write ‘Soupy’.
And I’m waiting for confirmation of who did.
And if it’s who I think it is – we have a bigger story. To be continued ….
Ah!!! It was a lovely day today!!! I sported a sweater dress, boots and a smile.
So, here’s how I am ‘expanding’ (not my waist size).
I hope to add an accompanying video to most posts – with a little more ‘behind the scenes’ or commentary.
This blog is important to me. I love it. I love speaking to whomever reads it. And I’m not promoting the site – so, whoever finds it – finds it for a reason.
I’m also inviting those close to me to write as guest bloggers. The first being my mom!
She is a great writer, a great artist – and I got my sense of humor from her so …
Mum has written something and will be transcribing it from (4?) pages of yellow lined paper to a format I can share with you.
It will be good. I already know this.
As for the videos – I’m hoping I’ll get so good, we’ll eventually have stop-motion/voice over (NIC!) and fun fun stuff!
As for the last moments of ‘Show and Tell Tuesday’ hope you enjoy a brief relaxed intro into my nerd room. And yes, Butters makes an appearance or two – everyone LOVES Butters, she should seriously have her own blog. LOL!