Category Archives: Creative Writing

Promises

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Ashes fell on me

Creped skin

Regrets

Promises each day of a new beginning

My abused temple

Modified

Sacrificed

Ignored …

The quandary of Facebook

Ok.  I’ll admit it.  I’m ‘one of them.’

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I’m the diary chick.

SO not a ‘status’ chick.  “I am currently writing a blog.” <POST> nah.

But, in my defense, I’m also VERY selective with my ‘friends.’  And I quote that because I see people with hundreds upon HUNDREDS of friends and I just don’t get it?

Facebook is not LinkedIn … Facebook, I thought, was a personal web page of sorts that you communicated from to your favorite friends and family?

I have under 100 ‘friends.’

I share too much.

I have also found myself deleting posts after posts because I feel inadequate or unable to be ‘real’ even with my selected friends.

Why?

Insecurities obviously … But, also, because THEIR lives SEEM so freaking amazing.  I feel I fall short when I am honest.

And if you’re going with the above cartoon, then WHY is a photo of food not acceptable????

Tangent.

If we’re keeping it to ‘status’ only, then, what I’m eating is perfectly appropriate.  Right?

I enjoy such features as IM.  Instant messaging friends from all over the planet – for FREE!

No phone bill.

No stamps. (Although, I DO miss hand written letters.)

Off Tangent.

I have decided Facebook users fall into the following categories:

*The fantasy poster* – You ONLY hear good from them and their lives sound like they have a unicorn in their backyard and rainbows and confetti in their front yard – and you will NEVER live up to their marriage/relationship/mothering/fathering skills.

(Problem I have with these friends is that I actually judge myself – compare myself TO them.)

*The sometimes poster*  – They really only remember Facebook when they’re NOT living their lives – because they’re real, and maybe they’ll share something fun with you.  But, who know’s what’s going on in between.

*The work poster* – They’re busy, but want to advocate their occupation.  You’ll get glimpses of their lives IF they decide it merits sharing and the post is innocuous – but mostly, it’s about work.

*The semi-honest poster* – Shares when they’re sad or happy – when their kids/partner/selves are sick or tired – but will stop at anything embarrassing.

*The Stalker* – They’re your friend, and occasionally will ‘like’ a post, but mostly just hangs back and reads everyone’s statuses and won’t share a damn thing.

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* The over sharer (me) – will purge EVERYTHING without thought and regret it later.  Usually will delete.

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Thing is – I’m a writer!!!! I AM!  I was published by 10.  Have never stopped wanting to share.  And this is why my friend list is short.  And this is why I keep diminishing it – because I don’t WANT to stop being honest.  I don’t WANT to have to edit myself.

MY Facebook IS my personal page.  And anyone invited should seriously consider it an honor (tongue in cheek) because I just don’t trust many people.

I’ll be purging all over the place AND deleting – because that IS what I do.

God forbid I actually get a book published – would be pretty hard to delete. 😉

Um, and by the way … Check THIS out.  After hitting review:

 

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What I was even going to originally write about on Sunday was Stefan Kiesbye.

But then I felt bad – like I’d cornered him. (My issues, no reality there.)

He is my favorite author.

AND, a friend on Facebook.

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Yes, I had even deleted my innocuous Valentines post to my friends and family.

Funny thing is – I got a message from Rainer on Valentine’s Day – and I remembered asking him to get Stefan’s autograph for me at a book fair in Europe.

ANYWAY! If you haven’t read these – you really should …

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The Staked Plains – (when I got an ARC I FLIPPED out!)

And – my favorite ….
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Bottom line I guess … I want to be real.  I don’t want to delete a moment.  I want to share EVERYTHING with you.  Was watching a movie today (can’t remember which – I got Netflixbewitched) and one of the quotes went something like … I can’t remember.  But it was important.  And hey, mid-forties, cut me a break.  Maybe THAT’S why I share everything?  Because a year from now, Facebook is going to remind me I have a memory.

Penelope

Her absence is ubiquitous.

In her home,

at the park.

in our lives.

Her love is infinite.

We still feel it.

Countries away!

Her strength is unlike anything I can be.

And she’s unafraid to say –

I’m missing you.

I’m missing home.

I’m tired of dreary.

And in that honesty –

I find myself.

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lantern son

Me: But you’re the light of my life!

Nic: maybe you need to find more lanterns.

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And I’m losing him, in my needing.

And I’ve lost him in my antiquated metaphors.

and I love him beyond the lanterns.

Random #2

Write.

Don’t write.

Right it

Right now!

Gone was Christmas, as was Eve.

Gone was Boxing Day.

Gone was feeling guilty for a State away.

Now a country is between us

And loss is imminent

for what we had before us, I feel so ignorant.

I took for granted all those years of being close to you.

When I had so many chances to be closer and to DO.

To show, to share, to just hang out.  To call and just say ‘hi’

but glad I said ‘bye for now’ and never just ‘good bye’.

I’m rhyming and it drives me nuts – I hate that this you know,

but I’d do anything for you, I’ve hit my all time low.