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In the past 4 days we’ve been through such a variance of weather. From flooding to fog to a ‘nice’ day to … snow.
Just to tie things up in a bow for those of you who didn’t notice – the enlightened versions went in the same direction (Notice the karma scarf and her outfit).
He has the ‘Karma Scarf’ on and she has her enlightened ‘I had a drink thrown on me’ outfit on.
The other two versions of her are passing her by going backwards out of the tunnel, whilst, they are going in. Together.
Today, I was productive.
Yesterday I was constantly convincing myself it was okay to do NOTHING. Be a human being, not a human doing.
I watched Russian Doll, I watched Sex Education (both amazing). I snacked and I napped. I consider it the equivalent to plugging myself in to recharge.
What prompted this was my husband being out-of-town.
I feel guilty just ‘being’ otherwise.
That’s not on him. It’s a psychological glitch.
I can’t even pee at work without telling myself, “Just get this one thing done, then you can go.”
So, in spite of doing nothing of import yesterday (production wise) I accomplished so very much in allowing myself to DO nothing.
This is not the topic of my post though.
I have been COLD! It’s been freezing at night and our home doesn’t exactly remember the sunlight hours.
We have a wood burning stove and a (what seems to me) a circa 1970 hall heater.
Said heater has been groaning and moaning and whirring pathetically. If it were a pet, I’d be doing what it trusted me to do.
However, shivering on Friday, I decided to try to ‘fix’ the heater.
I figured, it probably just needs cleaning. I mean, I could clearly see dust abundant.
I unscrewed it – (after shaving the caulking off the edges) and to my surprise, it wasn’t independent of the grate.
Grab something, hold it up while I work on it.
Scooted to the bathroom and didn’t want it hanging from the wires too long – first thing I came upon was a soap dispenser.
Back to my task. Cleaned the fan – dusted the wires turned it back on and … flames.
After I closed it up, I tried to turn it on again thinking (in my official capacity as not only a HVAC professional but also an electrician) that it would work.
Didn’t even turn on.
Was chatting with my husband while he was at the airport.
Me: I f***** something up, I guess when I was messing with the heather it blew the fuse in the bathroom
Me: Only just realized it, I tried to plug something in
Me: NVM fixed it.
Yeah – I only had to press ‘reset’. *groan*
I shivered the night away and spent my lazy day bundled in bed with Netflix.
Today I was determined but depleted.
I scavenged the land for twigs with a bucket like a babushka. Hunched over, head covered, layers upon layers – selecting the choice sticks.
No newspapers or firestarters.
Into the ‘office’.
Twigs and file folders!
Got that started and inserted the wood that doesn’t ‘catch’ alone and …
This is what I’m looking at now. SUCH a relief!
That being said, I used to think I could do Naked and Afraid. After a weekend of freezing temps and no ability to light a fire IN A WOOD BURNING STOVE, I acquiesce. How the hell do they manage to start a fire and keep it going in the rain???????? How do they survive nights completely naked in freezing temps????? As I mentioned to my friends, if I WERE on naked on afraid, I would have tapped out in my own living room completely clothed that night.
But, I kept trying. And hung in there. (Like, where am I going to go? lol)
And the fire is still roaring and I still feel rested. Win!
I’m baaaaack! Why?
“It is the year, 2019” (said in Morgan Freeman voice) and I have my first EVER laptop. No more stressing over my keyboard vs blue tooth connections – no more trying to tap out a post like morse code.
I, am at home and able to type this on an amazing machine.
Oh what a relief. I have so very much missed writing. And talking to you Soupers!
This post contains graphic anxiety so if you have triggers – stop reading. Also, if you have rain, flash floods, commute or coyote phobias – not the one for you.
I’ll begin repeating myself shall I?
I moved to a very rural area and have a long commute now. But, the land, the man and the hiking is worth it. I am very grateful and know how blessed I am.
It’s ours. Okay, it’s the bank’s – but, we’re not renting.
Here’s the deal though. We live on a ‘Turn around don’t drown’ road.
This has mostly not been an issue.
We have monsoon season, which has kindly occurred mostly on weekends in the summer. (Shout out to those storms dodging work days! Whoop!)
But then came ‘the day’.
It was before the day I’m going to talk about.
Our neighbor gave me a map. How very mysterious. But, actually, he was looking out for me. ‘Back Road Map’. When would I use this? When would I need this? I was fine with my route.
Oh lord. The day I first used it I figured all of that out and was so VERY grateful.
I’ll now just leap into what happened the other day shall I?
It was a foggy morn’ … arrived at my turn onto the highway with almost zero visibility.
(This is where I reiterate how this commute on a GOOD day is scary for me. I have literally driven shaking, almost losing my vision, heart pounding, can’t feel my limbs, feeling ‘out of self’.)
I watched for headlights – waited – saw an ‘in’ and pulled out.
AND – some asshat didn’t have their headlights on.
They braked, I almost had a heart attack.
Going forward – heart pounding – and next fear comes true. Coyote crosses road.
I safely navigated it and kept on going.
Long story short, I made it to work, going 45-50 in a 65 zone.
Rained ALL day.
We are … um, the ‘rain catchers’ of the area. The mountains above us drain on down.
So, when my honey told me, rain is stopping, you should be okay, I believed it.
What I didn’t take into consideration was how long it takes for those long showers to make it down.
Here’s video one.
At this point I’m thinking, “Well, I’ve gunned it through heartier. But, after seeing trucks turn around, I’m nope to the nopety nope.”
I first text my boss who asked me to let her know when I got home.
“I’m stuck on my road and shaking.”
I then call my husband.
“OK. I’m coming down.”
“You made a very good decision not crossing that.”
He can’t save me. So, I turn around, ready to do the ‘back roads’ with that map in my 4 wheel drive amazing truck … wait …
Off road car YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Not.
Then, this …
Remember, I’ve come this far right? I can go back, do the highway, take those back roads. So, I turn around Aaaaand ….
I am now stuck between two washes.
I just want to go HOME!
I DID gun it through that one. Shamefully I’ll admit, wasn’t the most dangerous decision I have made, but completely stupid.
I got to the highway and THIS highway (as if I haven’t made it clear enough) is so super dangerous.
I need the next left for my ‘map’ directions.
Almost got nailed doing that.
Next part, I’ll be the first to admit was fun, if danger was not a factor.
I slid, I slid and slid and … learned to get out of past tracks.
My poor car lol! It’s not built for that.
Good thing it is a shift – and I could downshift.
And, that last track home made me smile. (Only, I wish it happened in a jeep lol.)
I made it.
Now, here’s some pics of what the rain does to our land.
Yeah, roses are pretty watered.
The morning ‘weather is going to suck’ fog.
There used to be mountains?
Our parking area today. (Yes, I’m lucky.) But, you can see the wetness, I share this post knowing my husband will be in Chicago soon and I can’t even imagine being there during adverse conditions! Me: Boo! Look what the rain did!
Him: (I’m making this up) I can’t feel my fucking face here.
So! There you go. Stay warm. Stay dry. Stay a Souper!
Oh. My. God.
Well Soupers, I can officially share with you that I am a home owner! With my partner of course.
It happened on May 25th. Close of escrow.
Our one year anniversary came on the 28th, one day before my birthday. Which, was almost eclipsed by our new official situation, but, not entirely.
Yeah, yeah, I see the dust too, I live on a dirt road, I can’t wash my car without coming home and being completely undone in that arena.
So hush. LOL.
I didn’t pack a thing. Not a thing. Because, I didn’t want to ‘jinx’ anything. (I lived to regret that.)
We’ve done runs up and down, and, let me share now that it will be a 40 minute commute to work each way – but, well worth it!
I didn’t completely understand the gravity of this situation until … today.
My honey is out-of-town to be with his kidlets, (who arrive on this month for 3 weeks! 🙂 ) and I went up today to water the trees and set up a shower curtain and take up my kitchen island. Ah. How relaxing. And, it was! While I was there.
Past week was spent juggling work, initializing utilities, cancelling current ones in the future …
Here’s us, the ‘public view’ of this experience.
(Obviously taken before he left town)
Aaaand, here’s me now.
I have learned that … A) I am getting what I deserve after dropping so many things on my parents after I moved!
This is my son’s room …
We have what is called a Quonset hut which is HUGE! And almost all of the shelving is currently occupied by ‘Nic Barn’.
I’m sorry mom.
B) I kept too much stuff!
I am the Queen of nostalgia. Every card, every note, every memorabilia of an event I participated in! Because why? Is any one going to care after I pass? Is it the Holy Grail? NO! My sentimental things are bordering on MENTAL!
I had a hard time throwing these out! These are old food containers people! But, because my son wrote such sweet things on them, I kept them! I took a photo, because I’m still not over such things, then tossed. (With a little whimper.) You can understand what I’m up against.
C) This shit. And, I swear I said out loud to my DOG, “Where the fuck did I put the tape????” at least 20 times today.
I haven’t even started on my bedroom, which, of course, contains my ‘most special things’ AKA: pouring over stuff for too long and reminiscing and not getting anything done!
There needs to be a service. Someone who will literally just sit there and crack a whip when you’re getting tired, or taking too many breaks.
D) I will be SO happy when this is over and I get to read THIS and laugh. I so hope for that moment, while my back is killing me and my space is a disaster.
There WILL be a time, in the future when I’m reading this and will tell myself, “You did it!”