Category Archives: Love
Fun with a new app
So I don’t have Photoshop at work – and do ALL of our fliers and art – even designed the logo.
Found something today that had transparent images.
So yeah – had some fun with it.
My honey is into short hair – and I am SO not. But, when I IM’d im te photo of me with short hair – he said “You’re not fooling anyone.”
So I sent him the goatee thinking maybe that would do it?
Then I got creative.
Snake totally photo bombed me and my son’s girlfriend 😉
As for the hot tub – how dare they!
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On a realistic note – I’m still stressing.
Trying to live in the moment and be concious of days and weeks and months to come – and wondering if we’re even going to get married 5 months from now.
I laugh – I cry (a lot lately) – I stay grateful – but times are tough.
I would be lying if I said things are happening the way I thought they would.
But ‘things’ are happening – and they are good things.
Have to buckle down and MAKE shite happen!
After all, if a pig can be in a hot tub, I can make a wedding happen …. no?
“A Whole Lotta Love …”
I have to say, I had the most ah-mazing birthday weekend ever!
First of all, I’ve never had a ‘birthday weekend’.
I know people who celebrate birthday MONTHS – birthday WEEKS – I’ve only ever done the one day.
So, this year, not only did I get to have fun on the day of with co-workers and then my family at home, but the next day more was to come!
Saturday, it was planned that we’d all head over to my moms and enjoy the company and the pool and sashimi! Nic’s girlfriend met us there and the four of us were in swimwear in no time.
Played Marco Polo – tried to dive (I can’t dive) – laughed, a LOT, while my parents and Jim chatted poolside.
Then came the surprise.
I was handed a card containing coveted tickets to the Led Zeppelin Experience concert that night – (With Jason Bonham) it was then announced by my honey that, oh, and by the way, we had a room for the night.
Everyone had known about this for 2 weeks – and had done a VERY good job at keeping mum about it.
It’s hard to surprise me – but surprised I was.
Here’s some photos of the weekend.
Funny Jim, Funny ….
Probably I should have been quicker with the candles??
My flowers with our epic Avengers art in the background
My guys
Tub time
My bikini finally sees the light of day …
Only downside? On the way back from my moms, the damn ‘check engine’ light came on in my car and the exact same problem I had late last year, was happening again.
Nothing puts my stomach in knots more than car issues!!!
Car not shifting – RPMs trying to hit new heights.
My car is back at the shop … and I’m PRAYING the parts are still under warranty – because there is nothing in the coffer for repairs.
My honey told me he was “sorry for all the unneeded stress.” In a recent IM
My response?
“Stress is never needed … and car problems just happen – no one deserves to deal with it. There are people who woke up today without their children or their honey … I’m a lucky girl. We’ll get through this – somehow.”
And we will.
Somehow.
After such a gorgeous weekend, I have nothing but gratitude and amazing memories to get me through.
And I’ve got ‘A Whole Lotta Love’.
What I’ve learned so far living with my guy
I was excited!
I was sure!
I was making room for another – and in all the insanity of removing 1/2 my life from my small home, it didn’t dawn on me right away that I was also …
TERRIFIED!
As comfortable as I was with my man – everything was about to change.
My routine would now include another.
And let’s face it, some of those routines have no room for another.
How was I going to use the bathroom?? How was I going to get through an entire night without ‘noises’ and I’m not talking about snoring.
How was I going to look as presentable as I did on Skype first thing in the morning?
There was maybe a week of ‘awkward’ as we both found our footing. He, learning to be ‘at home’ in a strange environment. Me, learning to be ‘at home’ with someone sharing it with me.
But then … everything just clicked into place.
If you’re living with the right person, things do fall into place.
Also, everything I was SO sure I NEEDED in a relationship (personal space, time apart, separate interests etc.) proved not to be so.
My DVR is piling up with shows I religiously watched B.J. <– ‘Before Jim’ (what did you THINK I meant?)
My living room rarely sees me anymore, (it startles now when I enter it) – the couch has forgotten what it’s like to have me nap on it.
Netflix is feeling pretty superior lately though. It’s getting a LOT of attention in our bedroom, and sometimes, it get’s ignored/paused.
But it doesn’t mind.
Then there’s the animals.
This was a recent post of Jim’s on Facebook:
The animals I was SO worried about not getting along clearly ARE getting along.
We’ve found our rhythm … our groove.
It helps that we have so much in common. It helps that we have history. It helps that we’re friends. It helps that we actually love each other. It helps that we both have a similar sense of humor and it definitely helps that we laugh … A LOT.
Onto the things I’ve learned … and I’ll get a little serious here:
- Men like to be spooned too! You can’t always be the little spoon. He’s chosen you to spend his life with – men need to feel adored, appreciated, cherished and loved as much as you do!
- You think your partner is beautiful sleeping, waking up, with food on their t-shirt etc. right? They feel the same way. And if they don’t – maybe you should reconsider your partner. Confidence and a smile go a lot further than lipstick any day!
- Too tired? Not feeling 100%? You are your partners one and only – and if they’re ‘desiring’ you, thank your lucky stars and be available. Of course, if you’re really exhausted or unwell, they’re going to understand and if they don’t – again – maybe you should reconsider your partner.
- Something bothering you? BRING IT UP! But, only after you make sure it’s an actual ‘bother’ and worth ‘bothering’ about. I learned this after bringing something up that probably I shouldn’t have. But, hey – live and learn.
- Say “Please” and “Thank You” Don’t take the love of your life for granted!
- Do things your partner will want to thank you for!
- Maintain SOME mystery … especially girls. OK, we know we’re all human – and have the same physical needs – and I’m guilty of NOT doing this in past relationships. No we’re not perfect windless Princesses – but waltzing into the bathroom while your man is shaving and readying yourself to evacuate your bowels is NOT SEXY. No it’s not. And I’m not going to even GOOGLE what probably is a niche that does find it so. *Shudder*
I know I’m going to make mistakes – I know there will be days he’s less enchanted with me. I know I may forget to say ‘Thank You’ from time to time – but I’m really going to try to remember my own advice, because it’s important to me. HE Is important to me. WE are important to me!
Faith, Hope, Love
I had these ‘peelable’ words in my bathroom, on my light fixture. I took them off today.
Not because I don’t believe in them. Because they were peeling of their own accord and I was in Ultra Domestic Goddess mode today.
I started off with awaking at 1:00 a.m. with Butters staring at me. Urgently. Whining. We went outside and she chowed down on any grass she could find. Which, in a desert, is a pretty futile effort, but she knew every spot in our yard.
This could be (other than a ‘duh’ moment) indicative of the fact that the very day before, she started eating garbage. She has NEVER done this!
She wouldn’t even eat delicious, hot, human food sitting at her eye level before she was spayed! I do not know what she ate that brought on such an emergency … other than Q-tips, tissue and ok … mother nature arrived. (For the second time this month … another post … or not) Ug.
But she has NEVER … EVER … before. Weird. I wonder if that means after her surgery she was craving something her body needed, much like us girls do at certain times of the month. We can be all ‘salad and healthy’ then ‘give me a f*&$ing burger’.
So knowing this, we were outside for half an hour early in the morning while she scavenged for grass.
I’m no dummy. I know dogs eat grass when they want to puke. Bottom line. But, there was no puking.
So I’m a little concerned about her. I’ve let her out sans leash a couple of times, it’s been 10 days since her surgery … but mostly I’m still walking her, because she seems to like it. And also, I get to tell her in non-verbal ways, that she doesn’t have to bark at every car that goes by.
Rewind.
I was up at 7 a.m. (Expecting to walk into the main house to find Butters vomit – but no, we already know that.)
I went to bed early – so, in spite of my 1:00 a.m. awakening, I was spry. (I’m excited I get to use that in a sentence! LOL!)
My morning: 7:30 – left house. Off to get my oil changed (turns out I have a tiny leak and they talked me into synthetic oil since I’m over 75,000 miles). Car wash.
Store for my future cat ‘Draper’ – cat bowl, cat food, cat toys purchased.
Bank, for money. Since Nic lost my card, I’m doing this a lot. Good thing I used to work with these chicks and I love visiting them.
Purchased Nic’s 20th birthday gifts. (Ug! That’s a whole other post. My baby is going to be 20 on Tuesday!!!!)
Dropped donations off at Goodwill.
Stopped at the shops for things for my honey, for the house.
Got gas.
20 cents off per gallon! Thanks Smiths!
Got home.
1:00 P.M. Did a majority of the weeding in the yard, after picking up the poop earlier.
Butters got to sit outside without her leash!
Cleaned house.
I kept avoiding the bedroom and worked on the rest of the house, I’m loving our nerd living room:
Thought about a woman’s ‘Day Off’.
Eventually got to the bedroom … and I can now walk through it. And it is ready. And there is space for my honey.
So, back to ‘Faith, Hope, Love’.
Someone commented, when I shared my morning:
Bottom line is I am SO grateful. Grateful that I even had the money for the oil change and the car that required it. The physical ability to weed that wretched dirt yard – the mental strength and ability to go through every single piece of my past these past weeks – the determination to make my past and present ready for my future.
The Faith that what I am pouring into my tomorrow is worth it. (It is, I know it.)
The Love still in my heart … that I fell head over heels with the man who I know was always meant for me.
I am SO grateful.
So very, very, very grateful.
And I can’t wait until he’s finally here.
Less than two weeks – and this girl has the man of her dreams, dreaming next to her.
Rushing into it? 25 years and counting.
32 is my favorite number. (My Nannies old address)
Being ‘next’ is my favorite place to be. (Anticipation)
31 is the day I’m getting married – with my love waiting for me in his moms gazebo.
30 was the table I sat at last night – without him.
I was having a very ‘I miss my love’ day yesterday. I mean, I do everyday, but it was extra palpable yesterday. Visceral.
Had a Chamber of Commerce event last night. A couple came over to our company’s table, newly engaged … there were congratulations and smiles – she flashed her ginormous engagement ring and I remember thinking, ‘HOW is she going to do laundry without snagging something on that??’ lol. I’m not into the ‘bling’. It was pretty, but – I prefer sentimental and subtle.
But, I have to admit, I felt – (while happy for them) so … left out of that celebration. Don’t get me wrong. When Jim posted our engagement on Facebook, so many important people offered their love, their pleased shock and their joy for Jim.
A few offered their congratulations to both of us. That was sweet, and meant so much. I was just so happy people were happy for HIM!
Truly.
I awoke this morning, after my unedited admission of missing my love, to amazing words from him.
He gave me joy, patience and once again, confirmations for the reasons I love him.
Then this:
And his words that accompanied it:
“Found it, after weeks! 1990 and still current.”
That was not my undoing – the ensuing comments were.
“It’s been a long crazy 25 year voyage babe! Bless you for finding me, and never giving up after two plus decades.”
Then:
“Jim. This brings tears to my eyes. Great sketch of your bride to be.” (From a family friend, who will be our wedding photographer.)
Then my son chimes in:
“That’s amazing!”
Jim: No, You’re amazing!
Nic: No, my baby goblin (that’s a D & D reference) and you are amazing!
Jim: Pickles! Now!!!
I was laughing and had tears in my eyes at the same time. Those dorks are my favorite people.
And I get to marry the man who drew the picture I didn’t know was me.
See HERE
Click on that, then come back.
Here’s the deal.
I have loved. As much as I was capable of loving.
I did not know, however, that I was capable of loving someone THIS much.
I’m 45. I’ll be 46 in May and I found my true love – who was 25 years away.
(Yes, dammit, I’m aware I’ve unintentionally rhymed a whole lot lol)
When Jim and I had our week – it was nothing like anything I’ve experienced.
It was comfort – serenity. I didn’t bite my nails – I didn’t feel like I had to constantly be DOING or BEING. I just … was.
And I was a better me.
A happier me.
And my son adored him and that made it the most special time.
Moms, if your kids don’t dig your guy … run! Run SO fast!
But he’s not a kid anymore. It’s March (the longest month that will EVER be for me lol – Jim arrives in April)
Nic will turn 20 this month.
My baby is growing.
I’ve grown too.
I was so jaded – I forgot the feelings of true love.
I’ve mended my bridges with my sons love – pretty sure she’s the mother of my future grandchildren, and, as I told her – ‘expect them to be total nerds. I will feed them cookies and Star Wars’.
Because I get it now.
It took my son falling in ‘true’ love for me to learn how.
And it took my first love, to come back and show me who.
And for that, I’m so grateful.
I love you Jim. And I’m so proud to be your bride.
Debauchery Soup 