Category Archives: Humor
Musings from the Laundromat: Kind Doctors and Missing my Baby Boy edition.
Pretty much sums it up this morning. YAWN! Today is a big day! I took tomorrow off so I can stay up past my bedtime and photograph the ‘Super Blood Moon Total Lunar Eclipse!” Sounds like a really bad SyFy movie sequel title no? Anyway, I’m stoked.
So, remember when back when we were in school and we’d have a rare sighting of one of our teachers outside of school? I had a moment like that Friday.
I took my lunch break to grab some produce from the 99 cent store, and who should be walking across the parking lot toward me? My laundry lady! So odd seeing her outside of this place.
‘This’ place by the way, is 90% men today. They’re all sort of aimlessly figuring things out and not talking to one another.
There’s two in that photo. Problem is, I was preparing to take a photo of the machines behind ‘sitting guy.’ Looked like a face to me – two frothy white eyes and a laundry basket mouth. But, then he plopped down and my washing machine face was obscured.
Speaking of faces (this is going to be a really bad segue) I have pink eye.
I was wondering why when I blinked it felt like I had sandpaper on the inside of my eye lids.
The sweet sharer of this condition is my darling son.
Poor kid hasn’t felt good in a week. We treated it like a bug, but yesterday morning, he was up and dressed when I got up. Rare. Very rare.
“I’m going to the hospital. I have lumps in my throat.”
We did the flashlight thing, and while his tonsils did look enlarged, no white spots so I was glad of that.
“Hold on, lemme get dressed, I’ll come with you.”
So off we went.
His comment when I snapped this pic “Really mom? I look awful!” As if that was going to stop me. Pffft. He SHOULD know me by now.
Then while waiting, I started poking around the room a little.
Good to know – nicely labeled – wait … WAIT … WHAT?
‘Vag’ light? There HAD to be more label available to spell that one out no? I mean, clearly the drawer above it isn’t abbreviated.
“Pass me a vag light, stat!”
I was in stitches laughing (no pun intended.)
Doctor came in, really nice guy.
He inspected my offspring as Nic asked him, “Do you see the lumps?” and proceeded to show the DOCTOR a photo he’d taken of his own throat. “Nic! He’s a doctor! He’s looking in your mouth.” I was amused. As if the doc (since we’re shortening things) was going to say, “OH! Jeez – thanks for pointing THAT out – can NOT believe I missed seeing that.” Anyway, doc then announced ear and throat infection – AND, pink eye.
It should be noted that while my son has insurance, I do not. And that’s not the reason I brought this up, but I casually said to the doctor, “Would that explain why I feel like someone threw sand in my eye?”
The doctor looked at me very seriously and said, “You’re not asking me to diagnosis someone I’m not treating are you?” I must have had a look of horror on my now red face because he quickly followed that up with a small smile and, “Because, I’ll be giving him a refill for the eye drops for someone I’m NOT consulting.”
I loved that doctor then. I mean, these days, who DOES that? So Nic and I are set when it comes to our eyeballs.
We then went to the pharmacy and put his antibiotic, pain and eye prescriptions in capable hands before running a few errands.
I have to say – and this may make me sound like a HORRIBLE mom, but, this past week while he’s been under the weather, there’s a part of me that liked it. No, I didn’t like that he was sick. No, I don’t have munchausen by proxy syndrome … It was just nice that my grown man of a son needed me. And let me stroke his hair off of his fevered forehead. That he was my little boy again. That I got to mother him.
I miss him needing me. I miss being strong for him. Protecting him.
And while I’m sure some would argue that the above are still true, it was just nice to hug him after bringing him a cold drink and him not letting go quickly.
How I tire of warning lights … or Feeling the pressure
Ok, no more puns.
Here’s what happened.
I made the mistake of ‘showing off’ my new-to-me car yesterday to my mom. I was proud and showing all her (yes, she’s a ‘she’) little cup holders and knobs and gadgets etc.
Anyway, after my visit and about 3/4 of the way home, a warning light came on my dash.
Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!
No! No! No! No!
Not again! I drove with my stomach in knots all the way home ( Stomach was also obviously hugging my lungs for comfort as I couldn’t breathe either. I don’t blame it. I wanted to cling to something for comfort too – the steering wheel just wasn’t cutting it.)
Here is the light:
I got home. Grabbed the manual from the glove compartment and scoured the warning section for the horse shoe image with the exclamation point in the middle.
Tire pressure?!
TIRE PRESSURE??
I was thrilled! And, very willing to admit I was also surprised that I had such a new fangled thingy alerting me of said tire pressure.
Wow.
“M’am, your tires could use some air.”
“Oh, thank you Cadbury, I’ll handle that in the morning.”
And I did.
Thing about tires and air (girls – listen up) you have to check and fill them ‘cold’. Which basically means, not driven on for more than a mile for a while (at least 3 hours).
Ideally, leave your car sitting and do this at home, but I had to go to a gas station, not having an air pump at my disposal.
So off I went. Starting out the day early and with hope in my car heart …
It ended in blood and cost me $3.00
Our local store has a gas station that will let you use the air for free if you get gas. I filled up there yesterday. So, Ms. Morals, didn’t feel comfortable asking for free air today. (I should have.)
I was smart. Took all the caps off first. Yanked that freaking hose out of the machine and shoved 4 quarters in.
Seriously though, WHAT is INSIDE those things that is pulling BACK on the hose???? It’s a tug of war just to reach the back tires. Then, you have to step on the hose so it doesn’t slap back into its nest – like a tape measure after you take the lock off.
I have created a rendition of how this looks for you. I’ll remind you, I am NOT the artist in the family. But I think I captured my lunge quite well.
I did lose my grip at one point – and was thrilled to discover that part of the hose was bare to the metal and sliced my finger as it tried to return to its home base.
So, I’m bleeding, trying to read the useless gauge (Note to self: Invest in a good air pressure gauge) and I’ve only managed to do two tires as the machine clunks OFF.
I walked the hose back, (more accurately, it walked ME back – like a yanking ginormous dog was on the other end of it) grabbed more quarters, inserted and repeated.
I was on my 3rd set of quarters and feeling the burn from my hose capture lunge, when a man came over to offer help.
(Keep in mind, I’m in my work clothes and clearly struggling against the strength of the freaking hose. Reminds me of THIS post from the past https://debaucherysoup.com/2014/03/03/monday-roadkill/)
He kindly helped me finish up by having the attendant turn the machine on for free.
I showed him my finger boo boo, like a war-weary soldier needing someone to understand “the things I’ve seen man … the things I’ve seen.”
I got back into the car with hope. I got back into the car with, let’s face it, a cramp in my leg at this point. Turned on the car and … warning light when OFF!
TRIUMPH! (Now, can someone kiss my finger and find me a band-aid?)
While we’re in a ‘Time Out’ – More musings.
Literally pacing.
Refuse to go online in case there are spoilers regarding the game.
Then I had the brilliant thought of, “We could still watch football!” Only to remember, the Packers/Bears scores would be shown atop whatever game is on. *sigh*
SO! We’re having an intermission. Until 1, when everyone else knows the outcome of the game, and we have to watch it on Game Pass when the game ends.
I put a pizza in the oven, you could have a piece if you were here.
An hour into the 3 FREAKING HOUR ‘intermission’ – I decided to take some photos. This was after more pacing and cleaning the toilet.
Here you go – my ‘No Packers Game Must Fill Time Photos’
Such a let down this morning was – like ‘Wishful Makeuping’ remember that from Pretty in Pink?
Getting all excited about something – and then it doesn’t turn out the way you want.
Which, let’s face it. IS usually the case. Life is full of ‘Wishful Makeuping’ and then something else happens instead. (Although, Blaine DID show up for that date – much to the horror of Duckie.)
Got to always be prepared to either, A) Sit in your makeup and outfit you picked out or B) Wash your face and roll with it.
I rolled with it. We found a solution, albeit, not on our hoped for timeline, but, photos were taken, art is being drawn right this second out in the sunshine by my honey – and life is good.
Sometimes what we want is trumped by what we need. And when that happens, it’s pretty amazing.
We can wait.
Best Laid Plans – aka: The freaking game isn’t on my TV!
Well! I was all geared up for the game. Literally bought those tissues for my honey as a joke – got home, (When I pulled up Jim was outside in his Bears shirt!) put laundry away and checked the cable for the game.
‘We’re off to a rocky start’ is an understatement. NO GAME! Our cable provider in this area isn’t showing the flipping game! I had my jersey out, my cheesehead …
I even flung a joke around “Hey honey, know why Yoda is green?”
Him: Why?
Me: Because he’s a Packer’s fan!
So here’s the deal. Jim signed up for a free trial of Game Pass. There is a catch however. We can’t actually WATCH the game until it’s freaking OVER!
Which, means, radio silence so we don’t hear the outcome.
I’ll end the blog here and I guess, won’t be blogging in ‘real time’ but, in the future as I see it ‘unlive’. There WILL be a game blog. Dammit.



















Bears VS Packers – an experiment in real time blogging (only it’s not)
Sep 13
Posted by debaucherysoup
MY ‘real time’ watching of the Packers vs Bears. (Why ‘MY’? Because the freaking game wasn’t on my TV. We had to wait until it was over to watch it. Now it’s on. Only it’s not.)
I stayed off of social media – ok, I did go on to boast about this amazing sauce I got at the 99 cent store! SO GOOD! But I had blinders on and didn’t click on ANY notifications.
Game Pass still says ‘Black Out’ which, means I can’t begin yet.
I’ve been ready for this game since 8:30.
So, now we know a little more about me. Not only am I a nerd, but also love football. Baseball not so much – only because it seems like you wait FOREVER for something thrilling to happen. I feel like if I was at a baseball game, I could wander off and grab a hot dog and I wouldn’t miss much. This is in direct juxtaposition to Basketball – when something ‘thrilling’ seems to happen every 2 seconds. But, it also gets boring when something ‘thrilling’ (like a million baskets) is expected.
When it comes to football, anything can happen, and sometimes does.
Good enough for me.

THAT being said, WHY wouldn’t my cable provider carry the game??? It’s a huge rivalry and no ‘home teams’ in my state were being broadcast.
I call shenanigans.
So, how to do this? I was going to post the actual time and my thoughts. Now I can’t do that. So, we’ll just do my thoughts, in order.
This will be long. But, anyone who cares about football or my blog will read. (Although, this has NOT been my experience, the shorter the better.)
I should also preface this with the fact that I have the mentality of an 11-year-old boy.
When it comes to watching golf or football, many of the things the announcers say is followed by “That’s what he said” or “That’s what she said” and then I giggle in my head.
Football commentators say the funniest things – and clearly mean it to describe the game, but I can’t help it! LOL!
We’re still in ‘Black Out’ mode on the PC. Let’s pause and go to the lobby for a refreshment shall we?
Newsflash …. The game will not be shown until 6pm our time. WTF??? What the actual *#@!?
SO! I stop now.
And I may stomp a little around the house – then I’m going to check the score. Because you know what ELSE is on tonight? Fear the Walking Dead.
What a let down.
Here we go though, here’s how I see the game actually happening:
Someone was @ 1st and 10
Someone threw a ball
Someone missed catching it
Someone caught it
Someone got a touch down
Someone missed
Someone kicked
Someone won.
Bah.
BAH!
Posted in Humor, Uncategorized
2 Comments
Tags: Chicago, Commentary, Football, Game Day, Green Bay, humor, Sports