Ok, no more puns.

Here’s what happened.

I made the mistake of ‘showing off’ my new-to-me car yesterday to my mom.  I was proud and showing all her (yes, she’s a ‘she’) little cup holders and knobs and gadgets etc.

Anyway, after my visit and about 3/4 of the way home, a warning light came on my dash.

Noooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

No! No! No! No!

Not again!  I drove with my stomach in knots all the way home ( Stomach was also obviously hugging my lungs for comfort as I couldn’t breathe either.  I don’t blame it.  I wanted to cling to something for comfort too – the steering wheel just wasn’t cutting it.)

Here is the light:

I got home.  Grabbed the manual from the glove compartment and scoured the warning section for the horse shoe image with the exclamation point in the middle.

Tire pressure?!

TIRE PRESSURE??

I was thrilled!  And, very willing to admit I was also surprised that I had such a new fangled thingy alerting me of said tire pressure.

Wow.

“M’am, your tires could use some air.”
“Oh, thank you Cadbury, I’ll handle that in the morning.”

And I did.

Thing about tires and air (girls – listen up) you have to check and fill them ‘cold’.  Which basically means, not driven on for more than a mile for a while (at least 3 hours).

Ideally, leave your car sitting and do this at home, but I had to go to a gas station, not having an air pump at my disposal.

So off I went.  Starting out the day early and with hope in my car heart …

It ended in blood and cost me $3.00

Our local store has a gas station that will let you use the air for free if you get gas.  I filled up there yesterday.  So, Ms. Morals, didn’t feel comfortable asking for free air today.  (I should have.)

I was smart.  Took all the caps off first.  Yanked that freaking hose out of the machine and shoved 4 quarters in.

Seriously though, WHAT is INSIDE those things that is pulling BACK on the hose????   It’s a tug of war just to reach the back tires.  Then, you have to step on the hose so it doesn’t slap back into its nest – like a tape measure after you take the lock off.

I have created a rendition of how this looks for you.   I’ll remind you, I am NOT the artist in the family.  But I think I captured my lunge quite well.

I did lose my grip at one point – and was thrilled to discover that part of the hose was bare to the metal and sliced my finger as it tried to return to its home base.

So, I’m bleeding, trying to read the useless gauge (Note to self: Invest in a good air pressure gauge) and I’ve only managed to do two tires as the machine clunks OFF.

I walked the hose back, (more accurately, it walked ME back – like a yanking ginormous dog was on the other end of it) grabbed more quarters, inserted and repeated.

I was on my 3rd set of quarters and feeling the burn from my hose capture lunge, when a man came over to offer help.

(Keep in mind, I’m in my work clothes and clearly struggling against the strength of the freaking hose.  Reminds me of THIS post from the past https://debaucherysoup.com/2014/03/03/monday-roadkill/)

He kindly helped me finish up by having the attendant turn the machine on for free.

I showed him my finger boo boo, like a war-weary soldier needing someone to understand “the things I’ve seen man … the things I’ve seen.”

I got back into the car with hope.  I got back into the car with, let’s face it, a cramp in my leg at this point.  Turned on the car and … warning light when OFF!

TRIUMPH!  (Now, can someone kiss my finger and find me a band-aid?)