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“As perfect days are few …”
I was driving home from work today, admiring the shadows cast on the mountains by the clouds hung in the sky … and thought “It has been a perfect day.”
I instantly knew I would be writing tonight.
I have a peace about me today.
Nothing extraordinary happened.
I am just very aware of how blessed I am.
______________________
I awoke before my alarm – took my time getting ready.
Received an email that ended in ‘In deep love’ from someone special.
And actually smiled at the mess that Nicholas’ birthday had left in its wake.
Yesterday was pretty amazing. My son said he had one of his best birthdays ever – and it wasn’t because of any material thing.
He spent time with people he loves. During the day, with his first love – Chelsea, they’ll be celebrating 1 year together this month. Then I arrived home and he was with my mom.
I was aware in that moment that he’s grown. That he appreciates that what matters are people not things.
______________________
Back to today.
So I’m reflecting on the day – the interactions with my co-workers/friends.
The successful meeting we had this morning, one of the guest speakers being a dear friend who I’m always glad to see.
Happy about the fact that our place of business is going to be of service in the community.
Happy that I was busy, productive.
Happy that I felt genuine joy returning from lunch and seeing the cars of the ‘family’ I work with – knowing I was going into a building full of people I like.
Then how fortunate I was to be driving a car in working order – to have a job to drive home from – to be able to stop off at the pharmacy and afford to collect my medicine.
I was full of gratitude for every little thing.
Grate FULL.
Then I checked the mail.
There was a brown package for me.
It was from a friend I’ve known for years and years.
She had told me a while ago she saw something and thought of me – and asked for my address.
This was in the package.
Ten Years Later: Six People Who Faced Adversity and Transformed Their Lives.
Years ago, books like those wouldn’t have anyone thinking of me.
I was humbled.
Then I opened it.
Inside was a letter – and a check.
‘Dear Amanda (+Nic)
The book is for you – enjoy and pass on. The check is for Butters. Took up a collection, please put towards bill to get snip snip done. Have a great day.’
(I’ll keep her anonymity.)
I’ve been struggling trying to find the ‘extra’ money to have Butters spayed.
I came very close to looking for another home for her. I’m a firm believer that if you can’t afford to provide for an animal – can’t afford health care, food or time – then you should not have one!
When Butters showed up in my yard, I went to great lengths to find her owners. Even using a connection I have at a television station to have her shown on a morning show.
No owners came forward.
I then went to great lengths to find her a forever home. No takers.
I could not bring myself to take her to the pound, a definite death sentence.
So, 3 years later, we’ve been her ‘better than the pound’ solution.
But I’ve hated, simply hated that I haven’t been able to have her spayed or provided her with shots!!
It all came to a head a while back – I was frustrated when I had to chase her down the street when she jumped our frail fence. I panicked. She can’t get pregnant! She hasn’t had her shots! What if she is injured?!
Of course she wants to jump! Of course she wants to play with other dogs!
I knew all of this and felt SO inadequate as a pet mom. She deserved better I concluded.
That conclusion was shared with my friends and clearly made an impression.
______________________
So here I am, having my ‘perfect day’ added to by this amazing person – and then I see her Facebook status.
And apparently something has happened.
Her recent status alluded to that and ended with “May the journey we all travel be peaceful as perfect days are few and sometimes far between.”
This friend, who managed to make my perfect day end on such a sweet note is not having a perfect day.
She wrote inside the book ‘Because you just never know! Pay it forward’
To her I say, “I will. I promise you I will.”
And I ask now for anyone reading this to just take a second and send love and light into the universe to all those in our hearts, on our minds – and in the world.
Butters – and how I’m not going to be eaten by cats
I always assumed I’d meet my end dying unnoticed in my house, then being partially eaten by my copious amount of future cats. My body perhaps found by the Laundromat Lady when I didn’t show up on a Sunday to muse?
Turns out Butters is what I have to worry about.
I know this because last night as I was on my belly, inching across the floor – she tried to eat me.
Okay – rewind.
You might like a little back story.
(And funnily enough, that’s what it is.)
I was in my sons room saying ‘goodnight’ and asked ‘Can you crack my back without lifting me?’
Nothing worked, so I lay down on the floor and Nic stepped on me. I was stretched out and pulled myself forward on my elbows to lengthen my spine. It felt good.
So while I was down there – of course, I went into tangent mode.
‘What if I had a broken leg and had to get to the door??’
Only way to find out if I could reach the front door was to try it.
You know, like anyone laying on their childs bedroom floor would think to do. Nothing weird here.
So I’m pulling myself using only upper body strength across his carpet.
A military belly crawl, only, I wasn’t allowing myself to use my legs – they remained dead weight. (Remember, my imaginary broken leg … of course, I wasn’t factoring in the pain I’d have to contend with should I actually have a broken leg, but we work with what we have.)
I encountered tile and was unable to get a grip due to my flannel pajama bottoms and fleece sweatshirt. (*Note to self, break leg in clothing with more traction.)
I should have stopped there – experiment over. I was screwed once I hit a slippery surface.
But Nic’s in the spirit of things now and pulls me across that obstacle.
Next the kitchen.
By now – Butters has noticed me in a vulnerable position on the ground. Does she worry? Look upon me in curiosity? Go for help?
No! She attacks.
I’m scooting across the kitchen rug and intermittently having my head chewed on.
I tried playing dead – but she just kept running off and returning to gnaw on me.
“I’ve got her! Go! Go!”
Nic held her back as I inched into the living room.
Why am I still doing this?!? Because I’d come that far – that’s why.
I wasn’t exactly sure where I was going now, but it was very apparent that if I were home alone and did have to wriggle to a phone or an exit without using my legs, Butters would be the reason I wouldn’t succeed.
Experiment over.
I hadn’t quite forgiven her after I climbed into bed.
I lay there on my stomach, getting comfortable, my head turned to the right when I heard snorting and felt warmth on the back of my head.
*sigh*
Really??
I sleep on a California King sized mattress – there’s enough room for me, Butters and both sets of Charlie Buckets’ grandparents!
Yet, Butters, obviously exhausted from attacking me, was snoring less than 5 inches from the back of my head.
She has a side! This is ‘homeless dog’ that I took in that now has a side of my bed.
She doesn’t like to cuddle, so I decided it was likely she was guarding me like one of her bones.
(Oh gawd, what if my imaginary broken leg is a compound fracture?!?! She’ll try to drag my sticky-out bone off!)
Anyway, she was still tired this morning (good!) so I managed to capture evidence of her close proximity. Then I just pestered her for photos to be annoying.
She’s getting really sick of the camera.
Perhaps I need to remember to break my leg in clothes with traction and a camera around my neck … then I stand a chance.
Butters on the left, my pillow on the right.
Me being happy I was annoying the dog
Musings from the Laundromat: Simple pleasures & silver trolleys edition
It has been a perfect morning.
I walked into the laundromat today with happy in my heart and relaxed in my step. ‘Midnight Train to Georgia’ was playing on the laundromat’s radio. I greeted the lady who works behind the counter – noticing her bright pink top. “Hi” I said, “I like your top!” “Thank you” she smiled.
She walked away with a hint of a smile still on her lips as I grabbed my cash card with the yellow wrist coil. I always pick yellow if it’s available.
I loaded five dollars onto the card and toted my laundry over to my favorite machines.
And here I sit at my favorite spot about to share my morning with you.
I’m reading an amazing book ‘The Glass Castle’ by Jeannette Walls. My friend Betty gave it to me to borrow last week.
I love that I have friends who enjoy a good book. I love the fact that they think of me when they’re finished with that same book.
I woke at 7 this morning. I slept in. After making a pot of coffee and letting the dog outside, I crawled back into bed to read.
A little while later, after retrieving a cup of the freshly brewed coffee, feeding the dog and laying back down on my bed – Nic appeared in my room.
“Hey” I said, as I let my book holding arm flop down onto the bed.
He joined me and rested his head on my chest. I put my free arm around him, patting his back.
We lay there, quietly, as he blinked at the wall.
“What are you thinking about?”
“The words on the painting … looks like it says Edward Woot”
I shifted my gaze to the painting as he continued,, “I think it is Woot”.
We both knew it wasn’t. But we considered the painting until we were joined by the dog.
“Aw! Now the whole family is here!” I said.
We focused our quiet gazes on Butters. Then back to nothing. Just enjoying the moment.
Not a thing was lost on me. I held carefully and quietly in my heart the following thoughts, not wanting them to disappear.
I held the gratitude that my son still looks for me in the morning. That he likes me and wants to have a moment with me. I held the joy that we were both looking at a painting together – one he gave me for Christmas – that we both appreciate art. I savored the fact that I was holding a book – that I get such immense pleasure from reading. I was grateful for my ‘boy’ in my arms and my dog at our feet.
I digested everything about that moment – while managing to stay in it.
Our silence gave way to laughter when Butters started nibbling on her leg and I announced it was obviously bath day.
By the look of the sky, I needed to take care of that quickly. The clouds outside were grey and looked heavy with rain. I suggested to Nic that we could just pour her shampoo over her and put her out when the rain began.
I got up instead and carried my 70 pound, hairy, leg nibbling manatee into the tub.
What began as a bath for Butters gave way to cleaning – I threw myself into the task, taking the large rug from the kitchen outside so I could wash the floor. Of course, Nic took that opportunity to make himself something to eat. His timing is impeccable. I worked around him – so very grateful to have a kitchen to clean. And too grateful for the food and my son to be annoyed by his timing.
Satisfied with the clean dog, the clean house and my fed and occupied son I took my turn in the tub. So grateful for the soothing stream of water on my back.
I’ll be making a small pork roast today – and enjoying my son in between his games and the book in between time with my son.
And speaking of that book – the friend that loaned it to me finished a particularly difficult book this morning (due to the content.) She commented to me:
“By the way, I finished the horrible one I was reading this a.m. I had to see how it ended and be done with it. I learned a grocery cart in Great Britain is a trolley. I was trying to find some lil gems in it to get through it :)”
I love that she said that. That’s what we do isn’t it? Look for the gems when things are tough? Well it’s what we should do.
I replied to her:
“There’s always a silver trolley if you look hard enough.”
Friday! Stars, startles and hitting send/receive
Ahhhh FRIDAY!
It was a bonkers day today. (Yeah, this is going to be one of those ‘Dear Diary’ posts, but don’t avert your eyes in voyeurism shame, you’re invited to flip through the pages of my life.)
So, I awoke at 2:15 am. Yes, we’re starting from the beginning, because I had the best giggle of the day over what ensued.
The dog was the source of my early hour awakening (shocking, I know.) Got up, trotted after the dog – no, wait, SHE trotted, I begrudgingly shuffled along after her, like the beta of our pack that I am.
Let her outside, and – instead of shuffling back to my cotton sheets – I noticed how clear the sky was and how gorgeous the stars were. I mean, even with half-opened eyes I’m noticing this, so you KNOW they were stunning.
Decided to sit outside and wait for her. Be one with nature for a few moments.
So, I’m sitting outside, star-gazing, and I notice light coming from the kitchen. The fridge is open and my son is stood staring at the contents.
Oh this is great. I’m already rubbing my hands together in mischief. Butters is ready to go back in, and so am I.
I walk in the front door and got the reaction I was hoping for from Nic. He did the full on, trying to find purchase with his feet, mouth agape, arm flail STARTLE move. Classic. Absolutely classic.
Tangent time:
I have never ONCE responded to a scare with a blood curdling scream – not once. Why is that the way they portray it in movies?? My response is usually a “SShit!” combined with some sort of body shudder. I call shenanigans on authentic movie scare responses.
Anyway, Nic’s response was authentic, and OH so satisfying.
I nonchalantly continued to my room, in a cloud of smug. 🙂
SO worth the 2:15 wake up.
Was up anyway so checked my email. Found the email I wanted (and pathetically live for these days – the send receive button is hit more than my snooze button and my knee on my desk lately.)
NOW I could go back to sleep. Content. All was right with my little world.
Then came the alarm … and preparing to conquer the mortgage world alone.
The loan officer I process for is on a mini-cruise, and, I already had a TON of work waiting for me.
I braced myself and confidently entered the building.
Day started off with an offer for an additional job. So, that would make 3. I took it. Hey – I am not turning down an opportunity to make extra money!
I have to be able to support myself in the manner to which I’d like to become accustomed – you know, like, having groceries and paying the rent AND being able to look at the ‘nice’ shampoo section.
After that, things went pretty well considering. (Except for having no access to the VA website and three VA files desperately in need of me HAVING access.)
Discovered what it must feel like to be a pet today too … one of the realtors was filling his M & M jar.
I heard that sound and my ears pricked up and my head tilted to one side. Came prancing out to make sure it was in fact candy, and not kibble being deposited in a bowl. Nope. M & M’s for sure. My afternoon was looking up.
I won’t bore you with the exciting life of loan processing (saving that for an entire post lol) Fast forward to now … here I am, sharing my exciting day with you lovely people, and looking forward to hitting send/receive on my email.
Because:
Happy Friday everyone!
Restless dog syndrome
I learned a very short sentence in German. Mein hund. Probably it’s not even a complete sentence, but since it’s only 5 a.m. on a Saturday morning and I am not close to thinking in complete sentences yet … I can’t be sure.
I learned this after wanting to learn some German, and because ‘mein hund’ is slowly driving me to the brink madness. And ‘mein hund’ is of late, at the forefront of my ‘things that come out of my mouth to mention when called upon to answer the “how are you?” question.’
I do not sleep through the night anymore.
It’s like having a newborn in the house again. Only, without the instant dissipation of frustration and loathing for sleep deprivation I experienced when I did lay eyes on my actual baby. (18 years ago)
Lack of sleep has taken its toll. I can’t remember the last time I hit REM mode during the night. And I would remember. Yes I would. I have a knack for remembering my dreams.
My only dream currently is that of an entire night with my eyelids touching.
Not the left and the right ones … the top and the bottom ones.
And why I had to clarify that is a testament to the fact that I’ve probably rolled and crossed my eyes so many times in the past few months to actually convince my tired brain the first scenario is actually possible! (And yes, I’ve gone from possible incomplete sentences to definite run-on sentences, that’s what mein hund has brought me to!)
SO there’s that going on.
Can’t focus, losing weight (What that has to do with lack of sleep, I don’t know. Probably due to increased nocturnal exercising and lack of daytime energy to chew.)
She has the audacity now, after I’ve given up on any chance at more Z catching, to lay adorably at the foot of the bed, head rested on her paws – and nap.
I should go crawl over to the edge of the bed, stare at her, breathe in her face and *thwack* the wall with something that would make a similar sound to that of her tail. Turn-about is fair play.
I would do it too! If I weren’t lacking the energy and motor skills to crawl over near her.
Debauchery Soup 