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Musings from the Laundromat: Facebook Food

I could have sworn Monday was the 30th – so when I spotted gummy eyeballs in a store I had to have them.  (This  is going somewhere.)  I figured I would  put my little pumpkin/ghost bowl out a few days early in anticipation of October.  I love October!  By Halloween we desert residents find  the need for a light cardigan at night and sometimes even long pants!   My favorite Seasons in the  desert are Autumn and Winter.

So out came the bowl –

 

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Dark, I know – but he likes it that way.   We all know I have a fondness for gummy eyeballs – I’m reminded of this photo – can’t recall the post.

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It wasn’t until Saturday that I realized I was ahead of myself by more than a few days … as my son pointed out ‘Now our house is like Wal-Mart’ – Not true! ! I have no Christmas decorations up yet!

Funny thing is,  I awoke to being tagged in this photo on my Facebook account by a friend – they know me – they really do.

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Saturday was also Facebook food day.

Ever see a recipe someone posts on their wall and think – ‘hmmm, that looks good, I should try that’ and then never do?  Yeah, me too.

Saturday however, I made these.

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I actually pulled it off!  If you’re one of those people that makes a hot meal in the morning for your family (i am not one of those people) then I’m giving this two thumbs up and recommending you try it.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees – pop a slice of ham in a muffin pan – crack an egg right into the ‘ham cup’ add whatever tidbits please you – I just used red onion, sharp cheddar, salt and pepper.  then cook for 15 minutes.  Ta-da!

I was dubious about how the egg would end up being cooked, so I scrambled a couple.  I prefered the whole egg ones.  I’d describe them as over medium.  SO good.

Then it was off to my moms for lunch.  She had lured me in with promises of hors d’oeuvres, smoked salmon and goat cheese salad AND dessert.  Not much gets me out of the house on a Saturday – but seeing my mom, eating and getting to watch a movie she recorded and said was hilarious had me heading out the door.

The salad was … EXQUISITE!  Everything complimented everything else on the plate, it was hard not to get a perfect bite on every forkful.

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Then dessert.

Heres another Facebook recipe that had shown up.  Turned out to be a lovely memory for my mom and I, as she would make baked apples when I was little.

Also, it was fun playing with the little pastry cage.  She put hers on her  dog’s head and I imitated Hannibal Lecter by putting mine over my mouth.  Yes, playing with your food is acceptable.

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I was stuffed.

 

Oh and the movie?  ‘Big Ass Spider’  which WAS hilarious thanks to Jose the Security guy and the protagonist the Bug guy.

Mostly because of Jose.  He delivered lines that literally had me laughing out loud for all the right reasons – considering it was a SyFy movie.  You know what I mean – Sharknado is fun to watch, but none of us watched it for the acting.

The scene in the morgue had me in stitches – no pun intended.

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So make a Facebook food – watch Big Ass Spider and put out your Halloween knick knacks if you want to!  Life is short!  In the meantime, I’m working on a controversial piece that is requiring lots of research – so the musings will be a little more serious next weekend.

‘Til then!

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A Wider Shade of Pale

It’s no secret I’ve been what I called ‘comfort eating’, but what I’ve come to realize is that I eat when I’m bored.

I did not know this.

For the last 18 years, I haven’t really been bored.

Since my son has been in England, I’ve found myself with extra time on my hands – that translated into eating utensils in my hands.

I’ll get the annoying ‘thin person bitching about gaining weight’ part out of the way – because I’ve had a few eye rolls when I’ve mentioned the 8 pounds I gained.  I know that I am not overweight and can usually be seen roaming the office with various food items in my clutches.

But, I’m NOT overweight as a result of effort on my part!

I lost over 40 pounds on purpose – over time, sensibly.  (Alright, and it probably helped when I stopped drinking a thousand or so calories a day too.)

So those extra 8 pounds in (blush) two weeks bother me.

They especially bothered me the other night when I stripped down to put my pajamas on and it still looked like I had my underwear on.

The elastic left impressions where impressions haven’t been in a while.  I gain weight, it goes straight to my arse.  And stomach.  My little arms stay little – and my boobs.  Dammit.

Anyway, the private shame was soothed by some garlic cheese bread, so that was a relief.

This weekend was going to be the LAST of my eating debauchery.  (I love how I gave myself one more weekend though – very kind of me.)

Started out well on my way when my boss brought me a muffin from one of his restaurants.  Ok, I don’t know if ‘muffin’ is accurate.  It was more like an unfrosted chocolate cake.  But, for the sake of feeling okay about eating it before 9 am, we’ll call it ‘muffin’.

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Then I couldn’t possibly NOT eat my sandwich I’d made for lunch … or my sweet potato Triscuits.  Have you tried these things yet??  Try them.  Do it.

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Anyway, fast forward through the sandwich and the Triscuits – (which pretty much sums up how I consumed them funnily enough) something odd happened.  I was chatting to a friend and we made lunch plans for tomorrow.  AND I am excited about it because I get to see my friend and NOT because I will be in close proximity to food.

Who AM I??

I’m not only voluntarily leaving the house, but I’m doing it  to be sociable AND I’m not concerned about the food??

I think my feeding frenzy is over.  As suddenly as it began … the desire to feed seems to be over.

Nic returns at the end of the month, and I might just shed these ‘bored’ pounds before he arrives back on US soil.  He’ll not have to see me waddling around the house with residual ‘bored bloat’.   He’ll be spared that.

Which is a good thing – because I’m not buying larger underwear!

It’s official, I’m a prude. Next stop, dying alone in an apartment full of cats.

Shit. It’s official.  I’m a prude!

Here’s how I see myself, semi-youthful, a little introspective:

However, this, is apparently how I actually am:

Today was another food day.  I had just eaten my cheese and lettuce sandwich and chips, when my boss came in and asked ‘are you busy?’.  Had to think – how do I answer that?  Does she want to chat, then no, I’m not too busy – or should I be busy?  Then yes, I’m busy.  (which, I sort of was).

It turned out we, and a group of realtors, were going to lunch to celebrate two birthdays.

OK.

Prelude to prudeness: After ‘oohing’ and ‘aahing’ over the Cadillac Escalade I caught a ride in, (“This is so roomy!”  “What’s the gas mileage on a car like this?”) we arrive at the Benihana style restaurant.

Now, I’m not sure whether he was trying to compensate for lackluster knife skills, or fancy twirling or what – but joke after joke about sex and the number 69 came tumbling out of his mouth.  There were 8 of us women and 3 men.  It was lunch time for crying out loud!

My eyes kept darting around the room nervously to see if there were any children dining.  I was sitting next to my boss, so wasn’t even sure it was ok to giggle at the mildly amusing jokes.  (They were too far and too few between to worry about that as it turned out).

Is it really appropriate to ask, “Why does Miss Piggy douche with sugar and vinegar?” while I’m capturing a sushi roll in my chopsticks??

Another lunch time gem: “Why do women smile walking down the wedding aisle?  Because they know they’ve given their last blow job” (as I almost drowned on my mouthful of ice tea).

The highlight of this lunch was a co-worker who missed the punchline to one of the last and probably most vulgar jokes and loudly asked him to repeat it.  (The punchline was ‘wet pussy’  – the joke was something about fishing and a wild cat falling into the water …) Of course! He’d be happy to oblige, and repeated it.   OK, her asking him to repeat it was pretty funny.

But good grief!!

I didn’t even want to play the ‘catch the shrimp in the mouth toss’ – not after seeing 5 people getting pelted with sea creatures in the face and torso.  (The chef seriously needs to work on his aim).

The shudder moment was when I tried to suppress a disapproving ‘tut’.  I thought of my Nannie and in that shudder moment – it dawned on me ‘OMG! I’m a prude!’.