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The quandary of Facebook

Ok.  I’ll admit it.  I’m ‘one of them.’


I’m the diary chick.

SO not a ‘status’ chick.  “I am currently writing a blog.” <POST> nah.

But, in my defense, I’m also VERY selective with my ‘friends.’  And I quote that because I see people with hundreds upon HUNDREDS of friends and I just don’t get it?

Facebook is not LinkedIn … Facebook, I thought, was a personal web page of sorts that you communicated from to your favorite friends and family?

I have under 100 ‘friends.’

I share too much.

I have also found myself deleting posts after posts because I feel inadequate or unable to be ‘real’ even with my selected friends.


Insecurities obviously … But, also, because THEIR lives SEEM so freaking amazing.  I feel I fall short when I am honest.

And if you’re going with the above cartoon, then WHY is a photo of food not acceptable????


If we’re keeping it to ‘status’ only, then, what I’m eating is perfectly appropriate.  Right?

I enjoy such features as IM.  Instant messaging friends from all over the planet – for FREE!

No phone bill.

No stamps. (Although, I DO miss hand written letters.)

Off Tangent.

I have decided Facebook users fall into the following categories:

*The fantasy poster* – You ONLY hear good from them and their lives sound like they have a unicorn in their backyard and rainbows and confetti in their front yard – and you will NEVER live up to their marriage/relationship/mothering/fathering skills.

(Problem I have with these friends is that I actually judge myself – compare myself TO them.)

*The sometimes poster*  – They really only remember Facebook when they’re NOT living their lives – because they’re real, and maybe they’ll share something fun with you.  But, who know’s what’s going on in between.

*The work poster* – They’re busy, but want to advocate their occupation.  You’ll get glimpses of their lives IF they decide it merits sharing and the post is innocuous – but mostly, it’s about work.

*The semi-honest poster* – Shares when they’re sad or happy – when their kids/partner/selves are sick or tired – but will stop at anything embarrassing.

*The Stalker* – They’re your friend, and occasionally will ‘like’ a post, but mostly just hangs back and reads everyone’s statuses and won’t share a damn thing.


* The over sharer (me) – will purge EVERYTHING without thought and regret it later.  Usually will delete.



Thing is – I’m a writer!!!! I AM!  I was published by 10.  Have never stopped wanting to share.  And this is why my friend list is short.  And this is why I keep diminishing it – because I don’t WANT to stop being honest.  I don’t WANT to have to edit myself.

MY Facebook IS my personal page.  And anyone invited should seriously consider it an honor (tongue in cheek) because I just don’t trust many people.

I’ll be purging all over the place AND deleting – because that IS what I do.

God forbid I actually get a book published – would be pretty hard to delete. 😉

Um, and by the way … Check THIS out.  After hitting review:



What I was even going to originally write about on Sunday was Stefan Kiesbye.

But then I felt bad – like I’d cornered him. (My issues, no reality there.)

He is my favorite author.

AND, a friend on Facebook.


Yes, I had even deleted my innocuous Valentines post to my friends and family.

Funny thing is – I got a message from Rainer on Valentine’s Day – and I remembered asking him to get Stefan’s autograph for me at a book fair in Europe.

ANYWAY! If you haven’t read these – you really should …



The Staked Plains – (when I got an ARC I FLIPPED out!)

And – my favorite ….


Bottom line I guess … I want to be real.  I don’t want to delete a moment.  I want to share EVERYTHING with you.  Was watching a movie today (can’t remember which – I got Netflixbewitched) and one of the quotes went something like … I can’t remember.  But it was important.  And hey, mid-forties, cut me a break.  Maybe THAT’S why I share everything?  Because a year from now, Facebook is going to remind me I have a memory.

Musings from the Laundromat: The Staked Plains edition


I don’t know what I did to deserve an Advance Reading Copy of Stefan Kiesbye’s new book ‘The Staked Plains’, but the invitation came from the author himself and that alone made me feel incredible.

Not one to look a gift author in the mouth, and considering he is one of my favorite authors, of course I politely and calmly said yes, I would LOVE to be included.

OK, it didn’t come out like that.  It was more – ‘teenage girl spots favorite boy band and proceeds to fan girl the fuck out.’

I was introduced to Kiesbye’s work when I read ‘Your House Is on Fire, Your Children all  Gone’ in 2013.


I did the ‘carry the book around whilst bumping into walls’ thing with that one.   My nook went with me everywhere until the last sentence.

You know you have read a great book when you come out of that last page much like you would a matinee of a great movie.  Blinking against the light of day and disoriented.

Yesterday presented the perfect opportunity to sink into The Staked Plains and I proceeded to read the entire novella with a minimum of bathroom breaks.  No, the book did not come with me – are you kidding?  It’s my ARC copy!  I did hate to leave it on the couch though and hurried back to it.

When I reached the last few paragraphs, I greedily read them.  And then sat – stunned.

Absolutely stunned.

“He did it again.”  Was my first thought.

Not just write a damn good book, but managed to throw marbles under the feet of the reader.  I was off kilter.  Needing more!  I kept flipping to the ‘Acknowledgements’ and ‘About the Author’ pages hoping they’d magically fill with more of Kiesbye’s words.

Remember I’ve shared this before:


Well, in this case, the curtains aren’t always blue.  Never mind Shrek, Kiesbye is like an onion!  Layers upon layers that you KNOW are there but too absorbed to ‘get’ on a first reading.  I know for a fact that I’ll need to read this book many more times and maybe even get a degree in archeology before completely understanding.

I love that by the way.  I don’t want to be dumbed down by a book.  I want to feel almost unworthy reading it.  I want the book to challenge me as I try to figure out who the characters are and why they’re doing what they’re doing – and honestly, with this book, Kiesbye keeps throwing those marbles.

I had told Stefan in an email that I would be reviewing the book today – and jokingly said “You don’t mind if I open with the last paragraph right?”  I would never.  But – let me try to sum up The Staked Plains without giving any of the meat away.  (OK, without trying, that last sentence might be an Easter Egg for you.)

For me, on first read – it’s about humanity in a barren environment, with a heaping spoonful of the supernatural. No one is who they seem – and yet they are.  Human.  Whatever that means.  And while the characters are written honestly, I still found myself surprised by what they were capable of – and of what they weren’t.

But that IS humanity no?

We’re all layers.  Capable of such good and born with so many juxtapositions inside of us.

The book made me uncomfortable because I felt like I was looking in a mirror and seeing everything I fight not to be, everything that is complex and ugly about me that I can’t tamp down sometimes.   And, everything honest and beautiful about my self too.


Currently – the publication date for The Staked Plains is November 24th of this year.  THANK YOU Saddle Road Press for publishing this amazing book.   And, THANK YOU Stefan for remembering a fan who reached out two years ago with “Hurry up and write another book.”


Musings from the Laundromat: Fawn Legs, Secret Apple eating Agents and ARC edition

This is the last I’m going to speak of being sick.  I think if I convince myself I’m better, my body will follow.  Besides, it gets boring being sick, I can only imagine how it feels reading about it.

I’m late at the laundromat – put English comedy on last night and it proceeded to watch me.  I have slept so much it’s bonkers.

Felt like a weighted newborn fawn this morning balancing the two hefty laundry baskets on either side of my thinner frame.  (I’ve lost a few pounds in the process of mending.)


Throat still sore – a few coughs, but I’m sure I’m not contagious anymore, so, back to work tomorrow.  I’ve missed everyone!  I have!  And was a little concerned when I was conscious, that work hadn’t called me.  Then Friday, I got the call.  Yes, they still knew I existed and yes, my inbox was growing taller by the day with work.  I was VERY happy about this.

I then got an email that I, in one hundred years would not have expected.

It was from one of my favorite authors.

Would I like an ARC of his new book?

Are you kidding me?  First of all, he somehow remembered me from 2013 and secondly, ARE YOU KIDDING ME??!!

I proceeded to fan girl out and make a fool of myself.  To be fair, I was still on pain killers, antibiotics and depleted human skills.

Well, I hope I didn’t scare him off too badly.

And yes, of course I asked for an interview – and he said yes. That’s if he talks to me again.

I’ve been doing a lot of stupid things lately.  Not feeling like myself.

Not feeling like I even like myself of late either.  Good thing is, I can absolutely change all of that.

I’ve got to focus.  Regroup.  Prioritize.

In the meantime, here I am, at the laundromat – taking care of business and … thinking about my next nap if I’m being completely honest.

In between sleeping, I did manage to catch up on all the Agents of Shield episodes on Netflix though.

And it’s either THAT, or the fact that he DOES look like an agent that has me cutting my eye over at this man across from me right now.

Nonchalantly eating an apple and reading a magazine.  Not just any magazine, but, as I walked by him to collect my washing, I did my surveillance – it’s a gossip rag.  Look at the posture?  Who sits like that anymore?  (She says jealously.)  And he’s wearing nice shoes.

Hmmmm ….  definitely some sort of law enforcement or undercover agent sent to check on the infected.


I’m exhausted.  My little shaky fawn legs clearly aren’t the only deer traits I’ve adopted.  I’m staring at him whilst typing with wary eyes and ready to leap if I hear a leaf crunch.

Yeah, ok, that’s silly – there are no leaves.  But you know what I mean.

Only thing that doesn’t fit is, he does have his back to the room.

I’m losing it.

Told you I was sick.

But if you don’t hear from me next week – send out the cavalry.  I could be in a quarantined area much like the one in Fear the Walking Dead!!!

THEN how would I get my ARC of Kiesbye’s book???


Pressing myself to read … a 2013 challenge


I’ve given myself a challenge.  You know, when I accidentally lost weight years ago, it motivated me to keep going.  I succeeded beyond my expectations. 

It occurred to me a week or so ago that since Christmas, I’d read 6 books.  Thanks to some gift cards for Barnes and Noble I filled my nook with amazing authors.


I LOVE to read.  Ever since I was little, I immersed myself in fairy tales and incredible stories of far away lands, real and imagined. 

During the trip from France to India, reading kept me company on the coach.  When we hit a man in a small village during our travels, I kept my nose in Alice in Wonderland to keep from the chaos that was too much for a 9-year-old girl.

Books have always been my friends.  My favorite pastime. 

So! My challenge for myself – to read 50+ books by next Christmas.

I’m on my 8th book so far.

I would recommend any of these, here’s the tally/list so far:

Gillian Flynn is one of my new favorite authors.  She had me at Gone Girl and brought me to Dark Places and then Sharp Objects.  I found Jodi Picoult who spun a tale with alternating narrative called The Pact: A Love Story.

Harlan Coben reminded me that not everything is as it seems in Caught.

Cathy Glass broke my heart and reinforced my faith in humanity at the same time in Damaged

Stefan Kiesbye blew my mind with, Your House is on Fire, Your Children all Gone. (SERIOUSLY amazing book – I’ll have to read it again because there are so many layers to digest).

And now I’m out of my comfort zone with a Sci Fi book recommended by a friend.  Richard K. Morgan is expanding my mind and my vocabulary with Altered Carbon

I found it hard to get through the prologue – but I love a challenge.  By Chapter three I was hooked.  Plus, I actually had to use my nook ‘look up’ tool. I had never heard of the word ‘maelstrom’. 

Coincidentally, it also appeared in the Kiesbye novel.  Now I know the word well.

I love that about books! Coming away from one smarter – wiser – mind expanded – opinions changed.  I love growing.  I love connecting with the characters and being taken on their journey. 

If you have any page turners (Gawd! There’s nothing like a page turner!!!!) to recommend (fiction please, but I’m game for any genre in that category) please let me know!  Discovering new authors is part of the fun!