Rainer’s interview with Barry Shainbaum
Holocaust Remembrance Day.
If you missed Rainer’s interview with Barry Shainbaum today, click this link tomorrow and watch for the recording to appear in the ‘previous guests’ category.
http://www.barryshainbaum.com/radio.html
After a long, frustrating and VERY blog worthy weekend – it put a smile on my face and filled my heart to hear my love do such an amazing job. At midnight no less, with a plane trip in just a few hours to give more of himself to his cause.
I’m so proud that no matter what, he continues his work tirelessly – to help build bridges and to be a conduit for healing and understanding.
For those who didn’t get the website address – it is http://www.daserbedeskommandanten.com and is presented in both English and German.
Take a moment to remember today.
Harsh Reminder to Remember
Flyers were allegedly handed out earlier this week to Jewish Ukrainians leaving synagogue in the eastern city of Donestk.
While Denis Pushilin denies the validity of the content or being responsible for the creation and distribution – he does not deny the incident occurred and since images have surfaced, he obviously cannot deny the existence of this antisemitic material.
No matter who printed and handed out these leaflets, what disturbs me, other than their sheer existence, is that there continues to be groups that provoke and manipulate at the expense of the Jewish people.
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Holocaust Remembrance Day begins April 27th and ends in the evening of April 28th. (The anniversary of the liberation of Auschwitz-Birkenau.)
I can only hope that this recent disgusting display of ignorance and racism serves to draw more attention to that day.
There must continue to be conversation!
We must never forget!
Appropriately, Rainer Hoess will be giving a radio interview on April 27th – click the link to our website for more information:
http://www.daserbedeskommandanten.com/
I was asked after I posted my interview almost a year ago, why he continues to speak out.
Because simply, he is deeply horrified by the actions of his grandfather and refuses to leave his family with such a legacy.
Because someone MUST continue to speak out.
Because there is always a chance for hope to grow when the brave step out of the shadows.
Many, many good people do – they don’t give up. They keep educating the young and reminding the old because it MUST be done!
We cannot be apathetic and risk allowing the past to repeat.
For The Longest Time
I’ve been under going a transformation.
I won’t compare it to that of a caterpillar to a butterfly … but rather a snake shedding its skin.
Outgrowing my old, dull, scarred protective layer and using every muscle to pull free – brushing up against rough things to shed that final piece.
What has emerged is raw, sensitive, achingly new and wonderful.
I have a twinkle in my eye. A secret smile. A feeling of hope – and promise.
Taylor James
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I sat outside earlier and watched the last of the suns rays playing with the cloud cover … a breeze moved my long hair. I was glad in that moment I had not decided to cut it.
Billy Joel drifted to me from a nearby house “I’m that voice you’re hearing in the hall …” I exhaled – closed my eyes. I felt in that moment, beautiful.
I felt that I was enough.
That I was awakening.
“I haven’t been there for the longest time
I had second thoughts at the start
I said to myself
Hold on to your heart”
I seem to have suddenly gone from ‘what will I be?’ to ‘I know just who I am.’ And the woman in me approves.
My inner goddess that craves touch – intimacy – interaction and laughter has been given the green-light by the cautious, anxious mother in me.
It’s my turn.
“Now I know the woman that you are
You’re wonderful so far
And it’s more that I hoped for”
I thought this newly emerged ‘me’ was my secret – but she’s not. Others have noticed. That I’m smiling more. Laughing more. Being bolder and have a glow to me.
I’m spending more time with friends – noticing the opposite sex.
I’m completely and delightfully aware that anything is possible. And giving myself permission to explore that.
“I don’t care what consequence it brings
I have been a fool for lesser things”
And I haven’t felt that for the longest time.
We interrupt this hamster …
Nic bought himself a hamster on his birthday.
Yesterday I tried to worm my way into its heart by offering it a sweet potato Triscuit as it’s been hissing at me. Of course, it was asleep – so I placed it on its ‘food deck’.
Nic: Are you trying to buy her love?
Me: Yes
Nic: Well I’m taking credit for that Triscuit
Me: You’d better tell her that was from me!!!
This thing doesn’t so much ‘hiss’ as manages to get a sound out of its throat that resembles a velociraptor and that croaking thing from The Grudge.
Sort of like this: http://youtu.be/-fzfT4iDGTM
But with more of this thrown in: http://youtu.be/hMvFo4cd02o
It’s name is “Scarlett”.
That isn’t what I named it on the drive home from the pet shop.
I drove Nic’s car so that he could sit on in the passenger seat with the rodent carrier box on his lap.
“Mom! Careful of the bumps!” Really? Really Nic. I drive expertly. Hmph!
His newly acquired pet scratched on the box the entire way home. I lovingly named her Scratchy and wasn’t budging – until yesterday.
Her new name is Satan.
I had my reservations about this new pet. Not because she’s a rodent – I love rodents. I’ve been the proud rodent mom to a long history of rats, mice, hamsters …
***Breaking News – We interrupt this blog entry to announce that a random male laundromat patron has just chosen to sit DIRECTLY behind me in a rogue chair, no less than a foot away! If anything happens to me, he can be found with a blue plastic laundry hamper – and a size 10 flip-flop mark on his forehead if he gets any closer.***
Back to the reservations.
Like most moms, any new pet that crossed our threshold was OH so loved and enjoyed for about a week – and then it magically became mine.
My fish bowls to clean, my fish to feed, my mouse to cedar chip etc. OH! Speaking of cedar chips
You know what? This is useless. I can feel that man … it is really hard to write.
I just got up, had to literally try not to back up into his foot, and went to check on my laundry. It was done – and in a brief moment when he wasn’t looking at me – I snapped this photo. I’m sitting at the red table, with my back to him … you can see the close proximity of his chosen spot.
Seriously guy – it’s a HUGE laundromat! Add to that, he keeps clearing his throat. It’s like having a teacher lean uncomfortable over you during class.
I have 14 minutes remaining on the driers – I shall stand awkwardly staring at the time elapsing until it’s time to go. Because even though I could just MOVE to another table, I don’t want to hurt his feelings! This is how fucked up I am. I can’t even scoot away from a possible predator without thinking about how they might feel about it.
“As perfect days are few …”
I was driving home from work today, admiring the shadows cast on the mountains by the clouds hung in the sky … and thought “It has been a perfect day.”
I instantly knew I would be writing tonight.
I have a peace about me today.
Nothing extraordinary happened.
I am just very aware of how blessed I am.
______________________
I awoke before my alarm – took my time getting ready.
Received an email that ended in ‘In deep love’ from someone special.
And actually smiled at the mess that Nicholas’ birthday had left in its wake.
Yesterday was pretty amazing. My son said he had one of his best birthdays ever – and it wasn’t because of any material thing.
He spent time with people he loves. During the day, with his first love – Chelsea, they’ll be celebrating 1 year together this month. Then I arrived home and he was with my mom.
I was aware in that moment that he’s grown. That he appreciates that what matters are people not things.
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Back to today.
So I’m reflecting on the day – the interactions with my co-workers/friends.
The successful meeting we had this morning, one of the guest speakers being a dear friend who I’m always glad to see.
Happy about the fact that our place of business is going to be of service in the community.
Happy that I was busy, productive.
Happy that I felt genuine joy returning from lunch and seeing the cars of the ‘family’ I work with – knowing I was going into a building full of people I like.
Then how fortunate I was to be driving a car in working order – to have a job to drive home from – to be able to stop off at the pharmacy and afford to collect my medicine.
I was full of gratitude for every little thing.
Grate FULL.
Then I checked the mail.
There was a brown package for me.
It was from a friend I’ve known for years and years.
She had told me a while ago she saw something and thought of me – and asked for my address.
This was in the package.
Ten Years Later: Six People Who Faced Adversity and Transformed Their Lives.
Years ago, books like those wouldn’t have anyone thinking of me.
I was humbled.
Then I opened it.
Inside was a letter – and a check.
‘Dear Amanda (+Nic)
The book is for you – enjoy and pass on. The check is for Butters. Took up a collection, please put towards bill to get snip snip done. Have a great day.’
(I’ll keep her anonymity.)
I’ve been struggling trying to find the ‘extra’ money to have Butters spayed.
I came very close to looking for another home for her. I’m a firm believer that if you can’t afford to provide for an animal – can’t afford health care, food or time – then you should not have one!
When Butters showed up in my yard, I went to great lengths to find her owners. Even using a connection I have at a television station to have her shown on a morning show.
No owners came forward.
I then went to great lengths to find her a forever home. No takers.
I could not bring myself to take her to the pound, a definite death sentence.
So, 3 years later, we’ve been her ‘better than the pound’ solution.
But I’ve hated, simply hated that I haven’t been able to have her spayed or provided her with shots!!
It all came to a head a while back – I was frustrated when I had to chase her down the street when she jumped our frail fence. I panicked. She can’t get pregnant! She hasn’t had her shots! What if she is injured?!
Of course she wants to jump! Of course she wants to play with other dogs!
I knew all of this and felt SO inadequate as a pet mom. She deserved better I concluded.
That conclusion was shared with my friends and clearly made an impression.
______________________
So here I am, having my ‘perfect day’ added to by this amazing person – and then I see her Facebook status.
And apparently something has happened.
Her recent status alluded to that and ended with “May the journey we all travel be peaceful as perfect days are few and sometimes far between.”
This friend, who managed to make my perfect day end on such a sweet note is not having a perfect day.
She wrote inside the book ‘Because you just never know! Pay it forward’
To her I say, “I will. I promise you I will.”
And I ask now for anyone reading this to just take a second and send love and light into the universe to all those in our hearts, on our minds – and in the world.
Debauchery Soup 