Blog Archives

Long Distance Valentine.

When you find someone who loves your broken bits as much as they love the best you … hold on to them.

I may be spending Valentine’s Day alone, but I’m not truly alone.

I received an amazing box from my Valentine.

Ugg boots to replace the ones I mentioned in a conversation a while ago “Ug” (No pun intended) “I have holes in my Uggs!”

Fake flowers (“You wanted flowers.”)

2 cards, yes 2.

A book of 50 ways I’m ‘super’ (hand written answers, and yeah, he had all 50)

Green Bay cards.

Special Star Wars stickers peppered everything inside.  He knows me, he gets me.

I have someone very special that makes everyday amazing.

With, ok, inappropriate jokes and videos {no, not THOSE kind} he has an off kilter sense of humor I adore, because I know who he truly is.

The guy who stays friends with those he’s loved.  (And yeah, ok, sometimes that’s hard for me.)

The guy who actively avoids interaction, but will go shopping for a sick friend.

A guy who has such a routine, but let me in.  And now.  I’ve become a part of it.

image image

And THAT makes me VERY happy.

I think if we’re both being honest, it’s comfortable right now to be apart because we both have such stubbornness and independence.

It’s lovely to have someone to talk with and can count on that chat.

Life is in session and the stars have not aligned for us to be in closer proximity yet.

Happy Valentine’s Day to all of you – just know there is someone out there that loves you – even if they’re not with you. X

Advertisements

Musings from the Laundromat: Don’t Stand So Close To Me edition.

The irony in Glaucoma Man telling me he keeps the lid down on the machine next to him so people don’t crowd him while he’s less than a foot from me as I’m stuffing MY laundry into a machine was certainly not lost on me.

'Don't worry, I always stand this close to people.'

I had grocery store flashbacks.  You know, when you’re not finished with your turn and you have someone practically leaning on the little pay counter as you’re trying to swipe your card?  Breathing down your neck as you take your receipt from the cashier?  Those people.  The cashiers feed into it too!  Start ringing up the next person before you’ve even managed to put your store card and change away.

Back OFF!

Yesterday I had someone so close to me her onions were rung up with my bits and pieces.  We laughed about it – discussed sharing an onion and what not but – be patient and get off me!

I’m a little grumpy today clearly.

Not because it’s Valentines Day and I don’t have a valentine.  I think mostly because I just woke up, threw clothes on in a very sleepy state and was immediately bombarded with Glaucoma Man.

I’m not really a morning person – and I’m definitely not into being talked at such a rapid and energetic pace until all of me has woken.

I have big plans today.  Sushi grade Ahi ready to be cut into slithers of delicious sashimi.  A fruit tart for me (Nic picked a cannoli.)

image

So, basically, my big plans are food.  Oh, and … THE WALKING DEAD is back tonight!  So I was sure to take tomorrow off so I could stay up late and watch it.

I already know what’s going to happen – just not how exactly it’s going to play out.

Yesterday I did have actual plans.  Went to a local town with a dear friend and her granddaughter and Nic.  Pet everything furry with four legs and ate a delicious lunch.

Nic & a town dog

Nic & a town dog

My sweet friend and her granddaughter

My sweet friend and her granddaughter

 

Me & a burro. I wanted to kiss it on the eyeball, but it was eating.

Me & a burro. I wanted to kiss it on the eyeball, but it was eating.

If not for my friend, I don’t think I’d ever leave the house, except to run errands and work.  She forces me to ‘people’.

And now I’ve had a couple of polystyrene cups of coffee and am in a better mood.  Chatted some more with Glaucoma Man sweetly since my good nature finally woke up.

And now that he’s gone I’m scanning the room and wishing my clothes were dry and folded.

(Also very glad not to have anyone in my comfort bubble.)

Anyway, Happy Valentines Day to all of you and here’s wishing you love, sweetness and no grocery store shovey people!

 

 

Musing from the Laundromat: Marveling

Love is in the air.

Not just because it was Valentines Day yesterday …

I’m sat across from the man of my dreams who is currently and aptly, sporting a Superman t-shirt.

He’s already dropped a pair of his underwear on the floor, on purpose – to honor the tradition.  You’ve gotta love a man willing to do that.

He’s also currently chatting to one of the laundromat patrons. Talking about Idaho.  Just as chatty as I am with strangers.  (I will insist he does not accept the man’s candy though.)

image

I am the luckiest girl in the world.

We’ve spent our time together doing what we both do best.  Nerding out.  Countless Marvel movies … Walking Dead (that I saved until he arrived.)

Relaxing and catching up.

This is the man I loved 25 years ago – when he was still a young man.  And the things we laughed about then, and the rapport we had then, hasn’t changed.

But it has too – in the best of ways.  Because we’re ‘grown-ups’ now (I use that term loosely.)

And because the things we’ve experienced and the growth we’ve both gone through, has enabled us to be complete people sharing ourselves with one another.

REWIND.

Picking him up from the airport:

I was exhausted, having stayed up WAY too late, with the crazy idea I would sleep in the next day.  I never can sleep in, so why I thought that night/morning was any different is beyond me.  But I felt like a kid on Christmas Eve and sleep was the last thing on my mind.

After picking up the rental car, and since I was so tired, actually purchasing the insanely priced insurance – I was on the road.  With Nic next to me.

All went well until we reached actual traffic – and to say I had a panic attack would be putting it mildly.  I tried to breathe as Nic tried not to tell me how terrified he was to be in the passenger seat at that moment.

(He would tell me later, in no uncertain terms.)

In the terminal – waiting by the passenger pick up area, with coffee in hand, I was beside myself with anticipation.

After Skyping, over 6,000 IM’s … would I still be someone he would want to be with??

The minute I laid eyes on him, I knew for sure he was who I wanted to be with.

It was still my friend.  In the flesh.

That first hug … I have no words.  And the butterflies gave way to a peaceful, comfortable ‘home’ feeling.

Home is where we headed, Nic insisting he drive the car the rental company forbids anyone but me to drive.

“Mom, I’m better at this kind of traffic!”

I didn’t want us to die, so I caved.

Long story short, we got home safe.

Next, the ‘Butters’ introduction.

Went very well, TOO well, as she hasn’t left his side since he arrived.  And everywhere we are, she wants to be.

Yesterday.

He gave me socks.  The best kind.  Walking Dead knee highs and Iron Man.  This man knows what I love.  He also gave me a piece of our past – which I will treasure, always.

We went to breakfast and then watched True Romance – ordered pizza for dinner, relaxed until night came and went on the search for stars.

Probably that could have been planned better.  We ended up on Route 66, in a patch of dirt staring up at the sky leaning against my car.

Gave up on that when nature called and headed further up until we reached an old mining town full of history and quaintness.

We found a little bar and I sipped a sprite as he enjoyed a beer while Zeppelin and the Doors filled the patio area.

Best Valentines Day ever.

But we know who I am.  ‘Anxiety Girl’ has come out … as the days draw nearer to his departure, I’m filled with dread.  You see, I didn’t know.

I didn’t know it could BE like this.

And I’m terrified I will have experienced it and it will go away.

And no amount of faith I have in how true and real this love is seems to be able to assuage that feeling in my stomach.  That fear.

I’ve never been this scared to lose something so important before.  Nothing has mattered this much.

But I need to stay in the moment, enjoy every second.  I’m making lifetime memories and want to be certain he has an amazing time.

And tonight, we will be walking along a river, with music in the air and laughing (as always) and I’ll try, try so hard not to think about him going home.

“Bah Luvbug!”

I’ve been hitting the conversation hearts I stocked up in my office ‘for the customers’ like a crack fiend.  They’re are a LOT better these days than they used to be FYI.  The pink ones don’t taste like Pepto Bismol anymore – and the white ones don’t taste like chalk. 

The other day I happened to actually look at one of the hearts before inhaling it … and to my horror and chagrin. It was BLANK!

image

What the heck?  Is that bad luck?  Foreshadowing?  A really bad omen?  Is it as bad as getting a blank fortune from a fortune cookie??  (And for someone not interested in having a valentine, I’m sure worked up over this heart aren’t I?)

My friend Lisa so amusingly said ‘you’re supposed to turn it around’. 

Ha ha.

I can assure you there was no writing on either side.

I am doomed.  DOOMED I tell you.

But – the rest of you be sure to have a happy Valentines Day tomorrow.  

Love you all bunches!

(Oh, and no, you don’t have to adjust the color on your monitor – I am now a Brunette.  Thought I’d see if I got any smarter – it isn’t working yet)

image