Category Archives: Motherhood
“See you when I get back when you get back”
Every weekday.
6:00 a.m. Alarm goes off.
6:10 a.m. Take breakfast in to my sleeping teen.
6:15 a.m. Sit outside with my first cup of coffee and look up at the stars. (Is that a satellite or a plane? What is that?)
6:30 a.m. Teen has eaten and arisen and is checking his Facebook with 10 minutes left to get ready for school.
6:40 a.m. I see my son out the backdoor, give him a quick hug and he says those words to me. “See you when I get back when you get back”.
I stand on the back porch and wave. It’s dark outside, so I’m mostly waving at my sons shadowy outline – and it waves back. When I can’t see him anymore I go into the house to grab another cup of coffee and watch some more news before getting ready.
7:00 a.m. Get ready myself.
I mentioned yesterday to a friend that I feel like I’m stuck in the movie ‘Groundhog Day’ lately. And I do. But, this morning routine I’ll keep.
This morning routine means.
6:00 a.m. I am still alive, and I have my hearing
6:10 a.m. We have food and my son is safe
6:15 a.m. Serenity
6:30 a.m. The electric and internet bill is paid
6:40 a.m. My son still hugs me, still talks to me …
7:00 a.m. Blessed to have a job to get ready for!
Shadow pop, energy tree and can you see?
My son popping the watercolor balloon
Energy Tree
Sad Elephant
Can you see the Sea Horse and Dolphin? They’re very close …
Root beer float and peach pie love
Hadn’t felt well last night – my heart learned a new trick last night and was showing it off. I held tight to my 40-year-old bear ‘Teddy’ and slept. This morning, it was still demonstrating its new trick. ‘Tug, kick, gurgle – repeat’.
As I’ve mentioned before, I have a heart condition. I take 3 different medications and just really sort of deal with it. However, when a new symptom presents – it is a little creepy, considering my existing issues.
I debated just riding it out, I have no health insurance. But I know that if something was seriously wrong and preventable, I would KICK myself for worrying about money over my life.
So, this morning I ran an errand – came home, told Nic I was going to the hospital and went to the emergency room.
I can’t even count how many EKG’s, IV’s or X-rays I’ve had at this point. I’m pretty well versed in the procedures. The nurse was amazing. We discussed books (I had brought my nook along) she was kind and warm.
My actual arm – don’t think for one minute I wasn’t already thinking about sharing my day with you lol.
Waiting for my blood and X-ray results, they brought a roommate in. This gentleman was in fact having a heart attack. He had come in the night before and they wanted to admit him, but he had to work so he had left. Bonkers! (But, probably I would have done the same – what is WRONG with us??).
They worked diligently on him. I had tears in my eyes hearing how brave he was trying to sound and knowing how scared he must have been. He went to ICU.
Fast forward to my release. I was told I needed to rest, relax and to see my cardiologist in a couple of days. Felt so blessed to be walking out – and hoped with every fiber of my being that my roommate would be OK.
I came home, feeling bruised and tired. Went grocery shopping – sent my son out for some quick food and lay on the couch. Sleep found me.
What I awoke to, in a fog – was my son presenting me with a root beer float. 🙂 That thing didn’t stand a chance.
It tasted of love.
There was a smell in the air too – he was cooking a peach pie.
How blessed am I?? Seriously. I am so very grateful for every single day. For the love I have in my life, and for every beat of my imperfect heart.
Puffy parking lot pigeons and pantries
There’s a zing in the air! No, really – this time of year, you’re prone in this neck of the woods (or desert) to get shocked every time you touch your car, open a metal door or make contact with a shelf in a store. But I digress. There’s a zing in the air!!
My sons gift is on layaway! I won’t say what it is because I still delude myself into believing he’s interested enough from time to time to read my blog. I’m pretty sure the only time he does, is when I make him so I can hear what it sounds like from a readers point of view.
Anyway. I left the store and noticed all the pigeons finding shelter from the wind under cars. Adorable. All puffed up like they were courting. I would have taken a photo of my personal car pigeon, but I forgot to turn the alarm off before I opened the trunk. Needless to say my photo-op left.
Here’s one courtesy of the web – is this where I say I don’t own any rights to the pigeon photo? Because I don’t. (What’s the penalty for ‘borrowing’ an image? I do it a lot).
I also came home with a pantry organizer. It hangs over the back of the pantry door. If the dog was capable of laughing, she’d probably already be snickering at the fact that I think I can build this thing.
ALMOST came home with a chocolate advent calendar. It was on sale. The picture on it was so cheery and holiday-ish, it fit my mood. I left it at the grocery store, I figured I might be pushing that chocolate a little having it sit waiting for its little doors and windows to be opened for over a month.
As I left the store, and after I filled the car up with gas – I was fit to burst with happiness. I figured it out. What makes me happy. Being able to provide the necessities for the people in my life and to spread a little joy. I was so excited to bring the groceries in, and believe me, I KNOW how fortunate I am. So very grateful to be able to afford food and gas. And I love that I notice the pigeons trying to stay warm.
I get you little car pigeon – I’m a nester too. 🙂
Christmas countdown = layaway meltdown
The goblins and ghouls haven’t even tripped up the driveways grasping their candy bags yet, but my mind is on layaway!
When you’re on a meager budget – two months to eek out layaway payments might as well be two weeks.
Christmas shopping used to be easy – and a heck of a lot cheaper. That was before my Lego loving, Pokemon collecting boy turned into a teenager.
Although to be honest, Lego kits weren’t as inexpensive as they should have been (I think the bulk of the cost is to pay the scientists they must employee to write the instructions).
I feel SO old and out of the techy loop researching, comparing and contrasting the latest gadgets he’s widened his eyes for when they’ve come on TV. I don’t own an MP3 player – have never held an iphone, ipad or had the opportunity to converse with ‘Siri’.
If there’s going to be any yelping or whooping or shiny Christmas eyeballs – shopping must be done NOW.
I’m wondering if they let you put Black Friday items on layaway? Not that I’m getting up at the crack of dawn to try that out – but just curious.
Probably Siri knows.
Debauchery Soup 