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Giggle Snaps


What is WRONG with me?  Since Friday I’ve been on a roller coaster of moods. 

Went from snapping at anything that dared to cut its eyes at me (inanimate objects included) to breathlessly laughing with my son.

Had flashbacks today of some of that laughter – which brought about the giggles at my desk.  Of course, that also brought eyes upon me and when they saw my screen was displaying something as mundane as the VA web portal, I’m sure they wondered whether or not they had a sane person in the helm of the loan ship.

I must have seemed a teeny bit demented.

Then I’m driving home today and started thinking about Christmas, the ever working in overdrive tangent part of my brain kicked a metaphor into my head, so now I’m maniacally laughing while driving at this thought:

My sex life (past tense as I am now in a self-induced celibate state) was much like a Christmas gift.  You know, the one you got that you give the mock ‘Oh!” eyes to, so you don’t hurt the gift givers feelings?  The one you politely smile at and say ‘thank you’ – all the while knowing you’re going to have to take responsibility for giving the gift you really wanted to yourself. My fault really for never telling Santa what I really wanted.

Left a scathing message for an Account Executive today after speaking to what seemed like a Rue 21 associate at their headquarters.  Did they want our business or not?  If so, assign a damn professional person to answer the phone with wanting to help coursing through their veins. 

I won’t even go into Sunday’s escapades – suffice it to say, when I want a burger, I WANT A BURGER and the mere fact that it’s 10:15 should NOT be an obstacle.  I think I scared my son.  He mentioned we really needed to get food into me.  He’s used to peace/love/compassion/tolerant mom.  Not mood swing mom. 

I’d blame all this on PMS, but apparently the male scientists have proven that doesn’t actually exist.  So I’ll blame it on the fact that I’m a Gemini. 



“It’s raining friends!” Three stormy day connections.

It poured.  Absolutely bucketed down today!  Roads flooded, traffic lights were dark – thunder BOOMED.

I arrived at the office to no power, but when I came in the door and said ‘Good Morning’ to the staff at the front desk, the power suddenly came on.  “You’re welcome” I laughed – and headed to my door.  Keys in hand, soaked from head to toe I stepped in to my little work world.

Internet was down – for hours and hours.  You know, we truly are screwed in a ‘paperless’ environment when that happens.  There were no faxes, no emails, no access to my online wholesale lending sites or my origination system.  So I lit a Fall scented candle, turned on the purple Halloween lights, opened the blinds all the way and made the most of it.

SO beautiful to watch the rain from a cozy indoor spot.  O.K. yes, it would have been lovelier to be watching it from my own window, in dry ‘at home’ clothes, but I’ll take the view where ever I can get it.

Ended up having three wonderful interactions today.  (the upside to not being able to work at work).

Spoke to my best friend for a little while on the phone, my stomach hurt from laughing by the end of that call.

She was sharing about a dining experience at a 3 Michelin star restaurant.  A 16 course tasting menu! (I think we’ve established I love to eat, but I asked her – HOW do you get through that?  By plate eight, aren’t you bursting?  Unless each course is in the form of an amuse bouche – which it turns out they were not).

Anyway, the couple seated next to my friend and her husband were sucking the joy right out of that expensive date.

One of them even blew their nose into the linen napkin?!? WTH?  We then wondered how those napkins are cleaned – I’ll be reluctant to dab my mouth with a cloth napkin from this day forward. LOL!

Chatted with another of my favorite people on the planet on more serious matters.  This is a woman who the minute I saw her – I KNEW  must be my friend.  She carries herself with such grace – she’s stunningly beautiful, ALWAYS of service to others and we have a LOT in common.  There’s just an aura about her  – I knew she would be an important part of my life the moment I laid eyes on her.

The third conversation was with a friend that made me question why life doles out what it does sometimes.  She’s such a hardworking, sweet, beautiful, amazing mom/wife/soul.  I adore her.  She has some worries and I wish I could take them from her.  I think though, that there are just some people who God knows can handle more than others.  Still doesn’t seem fair.
(yes mum, I know – life’s not a fair, it’s a circus)

All in all, with only the latter part of the day affording me the opportunity to work, it was  an amazingly productive day.

(Trying to remember though, did I blow the candle out before I left?!)

Happy and I know it (still clapping my little blog hands)

I am happy.  I am off the hedonic treadmill and go to lengths to be sure I don’t visit that apparatus again!

I wondered today, if I asked everyone to take a week to come up with 3 things that make them happy, what would they be?

That in mind, I thought I should do the exercise first and found there was no way in heck there were just going to be three things!

This will be part 1 of ‘Happy and I know it’ because there’s just so much to say!

I brainstormed and these things came flowing out first:

The unexpected, scents, laughter, LOVE, giving, harmony, nature, imagination, innocence, music, animals, simplicity, synergy, absence of ego, rhythm, anticipation.   I added: Faith, sparrows, having ‘enough’, beautiful actions, learning, kindness, compassion, gratitude.

In no particular order – a little on a some of the big ones for me.

Laughter.  I’m talking the real deal – eyes closed, authentic, almost no sound coming out laugher. Side splitting, tears in my eyes, can barely breathe laughter.  And if you’re laughing, I’m laughing.  SO contagious.  My son makes me laugh at least once every single day.

Imagination. From reading to movies, dreams and writing – expressing myself creatively or losing myself in someone elses creativity – that’s a big one for me.

Love.  Love for a child, love for friends – loving complete strangers and ok, that first kiss and having butterflies in the tummy.  This has to be my number one.  Love is absolutely, I believe,  what ‘it’ is all about.  I’ll never forget J.K. Rowling telling Oprah how she thought of the passengers on one of the 9/11 flights – how they KNEW they were going to die, and the last thing they wanted to do was reach their loved one and just get to tell them “I love you”.  Powerful.  Truly powerful.  They weren’t thinking about work, or their cars or their jewelry.  It all came down to love.

Gratitude.  Oh am I ever grateful!  For everything I have, for everything I don’t have.  I’m grateful to have ‘enough’.  I don’t want more than that.  I’m grateful for every breath, every moment, everything.  I say ‘thank you’ every night.  I get down on my knees, squeeze my eyes tight and bow my head and say ‘THANK YOU!!!’.

Compassion and kindness.  I love seeing these in others and strive to practice them myself.  Being of service to each other is so important.  Forgetting ourselves, getting lost in bringing joy to others results in absence of ego.

Scents.  Wow.  We have the obvious – rain, fresh-cut grass – puppy breath, bacon cooking (or is that just me?).  Some of my favorite scents though are attached to memories.  I keep a bottle of mint sauce (that reminds me of tea time and a blue checkered table-cloth) in the fridge, just for an occasional sniff.

My Nannie’s green house where she grew tomato plants.  I had recurring dreams of that smell … the plants mixed with the warm wooden planked floor and the soil.  I could sit in there and just breathe that in all day long.

I love the soap she uses too – and the smell of her bed sheets after they were hand washed and line dried.  Dreamy. ^_^

Anticipation. I LOVE being ‘next’ in line.  I love Christmas Eve.  I love that feeling BEFORE an upcoming event.  I think this is because there’s still that delicious excitement buzzing in the air.  It hasn’t happened yet – it’s not over.  I love, love, love looking forward to something.

Music.  Opera, classical symphonies, every decade, every genre, music makes me so very happy.  Andrea Bocelli brings me to tears, Freddie Mercury’s voice elicits goosebumps.  Music makes my heart and soul leap! And Theres nothing like a live performance, love that throb you can feel in your chest from the speakers!

Being deliciously tired is another thing that makes me happy, and I’m feeling that now.  So I’ll wrap this up with a couple of quotes that I didn’t come up with.

“Happiness is not something ready-made. It comes from your own actions.”
Dalai Lama XIV

“By not seeking your own happiness, you find it”.

— Unknown (to me at this moment … I’m seriously tired lol)

Tired, but HAPPY!