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Watcha waiting for??

Had the most vivid dream last night. No, really, it was an entire MOVIE!  With a title.

I usually dream I forgot my camera and see amazing things.  Last night, I had my camera, and everything no one else could see, I could see through my lens.  Which made me kind of  a super hero.

I solved crimes – creepy ass crimes, but crimes none the less.

I saw ghosts, and past crimes through my camera.

Normal eyes could not see what I saw.

The name of my dream movie was ‘Exposed’.

Go ahead – use it.  I’m not writing a screenplay anytime soon.  Just give me a credit somewhere. lol. Also dreamed about a dilapidated house that I was fixing.

Both of these things are awesome.

I used to analyze dreams – and when you dream of a house, it’s you.  Which room?  More about you.  Attic?  Your head – thoughts … bathroom … what needs cleansing, ridding of … bedroom – romantic life or rest, depending on your wake state.  Get it?

I was working on this house.

It was a seriously long night with an entire movie and fixing up my ‘house’.

Woke up with a positive attitude.

And a smile on my face.

And popped this song in the CD player of my car

SO how I’ve been feeling – from the writer’s block to not wanting to leave my home to realizing I have so much ahead of me.  What AM I waiting for???

I’m ready to take a chance.

I’m ready for my turn.

 

 

Musings from the laundromat: Music in Black & White

I’ve been on a few tangents this morning – wondering what to write about.

I was going to do a ‘memory lane’ type post – which had me looking at some photos from the past,  then focused on concert photos – and finally playing with those photos and making them black and white.  Yes, I took them – yes, I intended for the grainy/newspaper clipping effect.

Without further ado – here are some of my favorite ones.  Hope you enjoy!

Bret Michaels:

I saw Poison twice in the 80’s, so when Bret came into town – I had to share some nostalgia with my son – who happened to be just about the age I was when I saw Poison.  Crazy!

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Gwen Stefani:

Definitely at the top of my list for performances.  She’s amazing – and gorgeous.

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The Summerland Tour:

One of my favorite nights ever – the bands co-mingled, the energy was high – my son was with me.

Lit:

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Lit joined by John of Marcy Playground:

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Mark McGrath of Sugar Ray doing … I’m not sure what, with Lit:

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Gin Blossoms:

Robin Wilson

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Jesse Valenzuela – getting a little help (he does not need help)

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Everclear:

Art Alexakis

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Sugar Ray:

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Mark McGrath and Robin Wilson:

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John of Marcy Playground, playing on Sugar Rays stage

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My favorite photo from that night, Nic, learning how to ‘concert’ like his mom. 🙂

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The photo I obviously did not take – Robin Wilson and I hug it out.

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Berlin:

The one, the only, Terri Nunn

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Graduation

I drove away from the event center last night where my son had just graduated, alone.  

I had a Gwen Stefani CD in the CD player and I felt a shift as the coin of acceptance dropped and I belted out “Ain’t no Hollaback Girl” along with Gwen.

Everything felt just … right.

Nic left the event with his girlfriend, my parents left together and I left with a smile on my face.

I have been so scared of the rapid changes in the dynamics of my relationship with Nic this past year!  I needn’t have been.

Here I was worrying about where I would fit in his life.  Here (Literally right here) I was worrying whether or not I’d done enough for him – done the right things by him.

Then, in the parking lot right after graduation, he picked my mom up in a hug and then shook my dads hand, and POOF!  The worry dissipated.

I mentally dusted my hands with a ‘well, that’s-that then’ resolve, and a peace settled in.

It was sort of  like hearing your little one say “thank you” without being prompted for the first time, or seeing them hold the door open for someone (Okay, I still feel a surge of  pride when he does those things.) 

In a single moment, I glimpsed Nic, the young man, and I was simultaneously proud of him and awash with an odd sensation of freedom.  Freedom from worry.

When I got home, (after uploading a bazillion photos to my ipad and managing to blow my icloud memory out of the sky)  I had a little time alone to reflect. 

And in reflecting I was SO grateful! 

I thought about all the people who had a hand, directly or indirectly, in raising my son with me. 

Yes, I’m a single mom, but a whole slew of people have been instrumental in the successful rearing of my child.  (And now I’m cracking up thinking of the quote from ‘Knocked Up’: Jay: I’m going to be there to rear your child. Jason: You hear that, Ben? Don’t let him near the kid, he wants to rear your child!)

I was completely filled with appreciation and memories.  Gratitude and love.

I wanted to thank every single person individually.  There are people who don’t even realize how much of an impact they had on my journey as a mom. 

So I try to tell people who touch my life that they have.  I try to remember to thank and acknowledge the people I love, the people who love me back – and the people who love Nic.

And in that moment, when Nic had my mother in his arms – and my dads hand in his – I knew he was doing the same thing.

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