Blog Archives

Saturday Homestead Shoot

There are days I wish we lived closer to ‘town’ – but mostly, I’m so grateful for our privacy, land and peaceful hearts.

I see beauty in everything.  I look for good everywhere.  Even the most simple of things stun me and fill my heart with appreciation.

Without further ado, (okay, a little more ‘ado’ because this meme cracks me up whenever I see it).

I present to you the scenes and views that captured my eyes and heart today.

The monarch I fished out a pool of water drying off for it’s flight.

The shadows from this aloe reminded me of Wilson’s hair from Castaway.

Because we all need some backbone no?

Sun

Butters making sure her shadow doesn’t escape. She’s no Pei-Pan. Keep a foot on it!

Our vegetable garden (which consists only of onions currently) with the bamboo fencing splaying it’s shadows across the dirt.

Aforementioned bamboo with our namesake sign

Listening to the real homesteader chopping wood

Only caged bird on the property – cage door is open though. Even faux birds deserve a chance to be free

Old outdoor sink and plenty of wood

Our gorgeous Palo Verdes and Mesquite trees

The newly finished culvert and rock work

The sun outshining my inner culvert shot

More rock work and view to other side of culvert

Wild desert ‘creek’

Shadow play – and future site of a bridge

Beautiful steps

The wood eater

 

Bottom line is that there is not a direction I can turn without feeling awe and gratitude.

 

 

Advertisements

Between the Musing – Laundromat Gold

image

I fell in love with this man and his posture.  Even sitting, his shapes and angles were so mesmerizing – I found myself staring at him and then snapping shots on my ipad.

I loved him even more when he retrieved his items from the dryer and they were button down shirts. I watched as after placing them on hangers, he smoothed them with his balletic hands.

I thought – ‘I’ve found laundromat gold’ (which, ironically, occurred in the dryer too – a small gold pencil that did not come from any of my items.)

Anyway – each photo may appear similar, but the minute differences in some are just so elegant I could not leave any out.  Only editing was switching from color to black and white.

A song came to mind by 10,000 maniacs – one of my favorites.

 

“The man in 119 takes his tea all alone
Mornings we all rise to wireless Verdi cries
I’m hearing opera through the door
The souls of men and women, impassioned all
Their voices climb and fall, battle trumpets call
I fill the bath and climb inside, singing

He will not touch their pastry
But every day they bring him more
Gold from the breakfast tray, I steal them all away
And then go, eat them on the shore…”

Please enjoy my graceful hypnotic ‘man in 119’.

  image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

image

Musings from the laundromat: Music in Black & White

I’ve been on a few tangents this morning – wondering what to write about.

I was going to do a ‘memory lane’ type post – which had me looking at some photos from the past,  then focused on concert photos – and finally playing with those photos and making them black and white.  Yes, I took them – yes, I intended for the grainy/newspaper clipping effect.

Without further ado – here are some of my favorite ones.  Hope you enjoy!

Bret Michaels:

I saw Poison twice in the 80’s, so when Bret came into town – I had to share some nostalgia with my son – who happened to be just about the age I was when I saw Poison.  Crazy!

image

image

Gwen Stefani:

Definitely at the top of my list for performances.  She’s amazing – and gorgeous.

image

image

The Summerland Tour:

One of my favorite nights ever – the bands co-mingled, the energy was high – my son was with me.

Lit:

image

Lit joined by John of Marcy Playground:

image

Mark McGrath of Sugar Ray doing … I’m not sure what, with Lit:

image

Gin Blossoms:

Robin Wilson

image

Jesse Valenzuela – getting a little help (he does not need help)

image

Everclear:

Art Alexakis

image

Sugar Ray:

image

Mark McGrath and Robin Wilson:

image

John of Marcy Playground, playing on Sugar Rays stage

image

My favorite photo from that night, Nic, learning how to ‘concert’ like his mom. 🙂

image

The photo I obviously did not take – Robin Wilson and I hug it out.

image

Berlin:

The one, the only, Terri Nunn

image

image

Today I’m neurotic – until I google again.

image

It’s official.  I’m neurotic.  (as I notice the hair in my eye in the above picture)

I Googled it, so it must be true.  Plus, it described me to a T on the following:

  • The tendency to restrict oneself, to be satisfied with very little or to remain inconspicuous: Grows out of normal need to move cautiously, delay gratification
  • An insistence of self-sufficiency and independence which does not allow one to ask for help or commit to relationship: Grows out of a normal need for autonomy and self-sufficiency.

Anxiety, self-sufficiency, OCD and having to over analyze every little thing, yup, that’s me. 

image

Good news is – it’s not a mental illness and it’s treatable.  basically, ‘get over it’.  Okay, so maybe they suggested therapy to help with that.  But, there is hope. 

Seriously everything I do, from driving beyond 5 miles in the car to being faced with something unexpected, results in a physical reaction akin to readying myself to open a can of Pillsbury dough.

image

I have had a reprieve from most of my anxiety, by not interacting with people outside of work.  I have to push myself to do anything that involves making eye contact with others.  Funny thing is though, when I am out there, I’m that kid who just waltzes up to another kid they don’t know and introduces themselves.  It’s mental.  Okay, I’m mental. 

So before I turn into this:

image

Or this:

image

It’s time to assess myself.

I don’t think it’s a secret that my kryptonite is ‘relationships’ (of the romantic variety.)  *shudder*

I’m talking, full on – fight or flight response to the THOUGHT of it.  I want you in my house, but gone when I want to be alone.  I want you in my life, but don’t tell me how I should be living it.  I want you to find me attractive, but don’t look at me or make me feel like a piece of meat.

It’s terrible. 

Seriously.

Because there is a really good chance that my neurosis in this area will end up truly leading me to my cat lady future.

image

This is how I see those relationship petals … nothing is black and white. Except how I want things.  Those are very black and white, and don’t you bring a grey crayon anywhere near me. 

I’ve found a balance that doesn’t give me panic attacks.  It’s called being alone.

image

But recently, I’ve had my balance tilted.  Thankfully, these days, when off-center, I stop to look at what is causing it.  I’m a lot more open to the possibility that I (gasp) could be wrong.  

I emailed my best friend and she assured me, she was not about to co-sign my bullshit.  She heard me out – as she always does and about 100 emails later, I could have published my analyses as a thesis. 

I think I convinced myself to some degree that I was doing the humanitarian thing by not getting involved with anyone.  I KNOW I’m a mess.  Who puts themselves out there knowing they’re a train wreck? I have my good qualities too – but don’t think it’s fair to subject someone to my hang ups and neuroses.  I’ve hurt too many people already.

saveyourself

So if I’m going to even consider changing my cat lady plans – I have to start to work on myself.  That’s the bottom line.  Because even if Prince Charming showed up, with a box of Good and Plenty’s (my favorite) in one hand and a bouquet of flowers in the other – I’d find something wrong with him.

image

People keep saying, “when you meet the right guy, it will be different.”  But, I really think in this case: It’s not you, it’s me is the truth of the matter.

And I’m all for truth.

And hope.

And love.

Just better be EXACTLY the way the ever-changing image of it is in my head, or else.

image