Last sentence I said out loud: “I don’t know what I’m doing, I have a shitload of stuff!”

Metaphor for my life lol.

But, in actuality, I was carrying my iPad, my phone, my keyboard and my coffee into my bedroom.

Lately, things have been pretty amazing as far as ‘amazing’ can go when you’re alone, your favorite person is terminal and you’re hundreds of miles away from your guy.

In a moment of vanity, may we acknowledge how insanely odd the ‘pause’ button makes us look?  LOL!  OK, done with that.

SO! (Other than the fact I need to get a haircut …)

Obviously the call was from my guy.  It’s getting harder and harder being in a long distance relationship.  But, also, think it suits both of us, and that’s kind of scary.

Am I going to be 70 waiting for his call?  Just happy to have my own space and look forward to a call?  OR, can we one day come together?  I know as much as you do.

As for my son.

They’re moving again in mid-July.  The love of his life is continuing her education to get her Masters.  I’m proud of them both, but, won’t lie (like I ever here) I wish he would find HIS niche.  His ‘thing’.  I didn’t for the longest time, and let’s face it, he’s been in a relationship longer than I ever have lol!  So I’ll just shut up about that.

Speaking of kids and futures, I discovered today I may be a grandma …

See the blobs?

I think eggs.  I was cleaning out the fish I inherited and didn’t scrub those.

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OK, so, now a big ‘reveal’.  The other night I posted a cryptic message on my Facebook.  I HATE when people do that!  But, I did it.  I mentioned I was giggling on the porch and couldn’t mention why.

Well, I’ll tell you now.

First, let’s look at this weed that grew outside my office – I wanted to capture it before the gardeners pulled it.  So beautiful.

AND we segue into … “One man’s weed is another man’s flower”.

Those that follow me know that I am fighting not only agoraphobia, but severe anxiety/panic disorder and a heart condition.

I do ok.

But, I was given some medical marijuana from someone with a card.

I was dubious and scared.  I mean, today’s pot is NOT what I used to use.

Back in the day I remember laughing until my belly hurt under the stars camping, having ingested pot brownies.

I remember what pot USED to be.

I had a bad time with it a year or so ago.   Too strong for me.  I couldn’t even move my limbs.

Well, THIS has made a difference.

It’s been about a month now.

I went from having 4+ attacks per week to maybe one every two weeks.

Able to not only drive to a shop (no, not while ON it – stays in the system I think) but go IN and do my shopping.

Also, sleeping a whole lot better.

Unfortunately, this is the last of it.  But, seriously, marijuana needs to be legal medicinally everywhere!

Much better than the 3 toxic pills I take twice a day!!!

I, personally, can’t afford to get approved or afford a card.  But, having experimented, I can say that it helped BIG time!

You know, with my “Shitload of stuff”.  Lol.