‘Being Fuzzy’ Laundromat musings continue and unite!

It’s a revolution!  Laundromat musings are rampant!

So I’m still feeling fuzzy – and watching my Packers win – and my friend Krystal mentions that she too, is feeling fuzzy.

It turned into an IM fest. Spoiler alert to men – we talk about ‘Girl’ stuff.  Like, girly PERIOD stuff.  And quilting.  You have been warned.

Started out with my Facebook status:

And, you know me – after I edited out the names – I saw all KINDS of ‘stuff’ in the purple.  LOL!

imageFirst guy is in his sleeping bag.  Second guy is stretching out in his sleeping bag, 3rd guy had someone joining him (oh Myyyyyyyyyy) and 4th guy was makin’ it happen.  LOL!  I did not intend any of those pics.

So – Krystal took me seriously and we went covert – AKA – IM.

For the record, my post was:

“Feel BLAH! Never felt happier to get OUT of the laundromat. Blasted ‘Take me to Church’ on the way home, trying to shake some of the cobwebs loose and give me the energy to clean and put these clothes away. Then I’m putting as little clothing on as possible (no, not for sex appeal) and resting some more! I’m so hot.”

And here’s the back and forth:

Krystal:  I’ve got that weird hazy head, strange heart thumping thing going. I hate this.

Me: I seriously was ok with this being on the wall. I’m sorry … yeah bonkers huh??? Fuzzy – hot – cold – hot – ears ringing – teeth feel loose – SO tired.

Krystal:  I’m hoping its just indigestion or something. Doctors always blame it on panic attacks. However, I’m not panicking!

 

Me:  heart pounding  OMG!!!!!!! I had heartburn for the first time in YEARS on Friday and two days before that too!  I never get that!

Krystal:  I accidentally ate wheat the other day.  I hope that’s it.  It’s just odd.
 
Me: well, I hope it was that, but bizarre that we have the same symptoms. It is odd.
Krystal: I just hate the woozy thing.
Me:  Gawd, what if this is us going through ‘the change’
Krystal: Pre-menopause

Me:  Pre-menopause.  Yeah – ug. I wish when our eggs were useless, we could just *poof* be done!

Krystal: No kidding!
Me: I can assume you’re still having your period … can I ask you a question?
Krystal: Yea, but not so regularly.
Me: really??? wow. Although, I didn’t start until 16, I’m a late bloomer. I only seem to feel good for 1 week anymore. The rest of the month I’m either cramping or ON it or prepping for the next round – and it’s down to 3 days of intensity instead of 5-7
 
Krystal: read posts about vertigo being a symptom. Maybe that’s it
Me: Shit

Krystal:  Im like once every 2 months but she comes with a vengeance!

 

Aging blows
Me: Funny thing is, (Name withheld – mutual friend)  invited me to a perimenopause group, and I had to ungroup them. These women were blaming EVERYTHING on it … “I got a hang nail today, anyone else experience that during menopause ” lol

Krystal: I have a coworker who was on it fir 2 months straight. 

Lol.  Hang nail
Me: Seriously! Lol.
 

Krystal:  Well… I’m hoping it’s what causes “fuzzy.” Either that or I’m going to die young.

Brb. At the laundromat. Need to swap.

Me:  Oh you are not! I think we must both have a bug

You go to the laundromat too?!!

Krystal:  I’m washing a quilt.  One person smiled at me.

Me: LOL!

Krystal:   This is kind of a grungy place

Me: You should start a blog lol
Krystal: I thought about writing musings from the laundromat – guest edition
Me: Yes! Do it!!!
Krystal: But I just brought more quilting work instead
Me: Lol  I love quilts. I have so many pieces of material from clothing memories, but I suck at sewing 
Krystal: Of course I’m not actually doing it, but chatting is better
(Awwwwwwwwwwww!)
Me: Write! I’ll post it

Krystal:  I’m not fantastic. I learn from my mistakes.  Omg, life analogy.

Me: Doesn’t matter. I once bought a bear for Nic at goodwill that had one eye so much higher up than the other and it was charming
 
Krystal: Awww.
 

Me:  I think sewing mistakes at least showed you cared to try, and yeah, life analogy right?  Write!

Krystal: I only have my little phone. I’ll have to jot down thoughts when I get home
 
Me: Would be an awesome juxtaposition to my experience with no smiles today.
Krystal: Assuming I don’t just fall over before then

Me:  Right? I’m sorry sweetie. I’m lucky I get to chill right now. Oh, and butters is puking in the yard

Krystal: Nice!
Me:  Maybe she’s going through menopause lol
 
Krystal: Tis “the life” we lead.  Lol
 
Me:  Tis the life we lead, and I wouldn’t have it any other way… For all the ups and downs, and hopes and heart aches … I love being invited here
Krystal: I know what you mean.
Me: She’s coming in. Bless her little toes
Krystal:  I have a lot to be grateful for.  At least she goes outside.
Me:  Lol!  I may have to make this convo a post.
Krystal: Lol. “Being fuzzy”
 
Me: Yeah … Then intro yo your piece
*to
My ipad is dying on me.
Not the battery, but the functions. UG.
Krystal: I think my blanket is dry. I can’t wait to see it all clean and unmarked.
Me:  Yay! Grab it and get no Evidence!
I typed ‘home’
No evidence …. Really?!!
Lol
 
Krystal: Lol. Bad iPad.
Me:  That is fucking funny. Like it auto corrects as if I’m a serial killer
Me: Sweet!!!
Needs a few more minutes
(Surprised it didn’t auto correct to ‘sweet, we can roll a body into that’)
Lol
 
Krystal: Hell no…. it took me 3 years to quilt that damn thing
Me: Lol!
Yeah, this is now officially a post.
And you are the next guest writer
Krystal:  I’ll try when I get home.
Me: There is no try, only do. – Yoda
Krystal: Lol.
 
Me: Ok to call you by your real first name?
 
Krystal: Who eats the candy out of laundromat candy machines? And yes.
It looks like its been there for years?
 
Me: I don’t … Nic came with me the first two trips and went vending. Lol
 
Krystal: These are those little loose candies
Me: Ewwwww
Krystal: Right!
Me: For the record, I’d totally put a quarter in though. Lol
Krystal: Just to see how old they really are? Hmmmm
Me: No, because I have no restraint lol! I especially love those banana shaped candies.
Lol!
Krystal: And its locked to the table with a bike lock.
Me: Like some one is going to scurry away with it
 
Krystal: Somebody with full-on menopause symptoms!
 
Me: Lmao!
Krystal: Need candy!
Okay… I’m all dried.
Me: K.safe trip home, I’ll be writing this and you jot things down and let me know when you have a piece x
Chat Conversation End <—– yeah, it was like that. 😉

 

 

Musings from the Laundromat: Fuzzy, hot and mean pink edition

I do not want to be here.

I’m tired, fuzzy, hot …

I’m late – super late.  It’s after 10:30 and there is a strange vibe in the laundromat.  A group in which no one is smiling.

Creepy.

AND all the washers I like to use were taken.  I thought there were two, but a little old lady in pink said “These four are taken!”

She scared me a little. lol.

I stood in the middle of the tiled floor feeling all hot and fuzzy and lost.

Managed to cram my two loads into the “Triple Load Washers”.  What a bunch of crap.  I don’t know what they consider a ‘load’, but I know I was retrieving items from the floor and putting them back in at least 4 times.  Everything just kept spilling out from the stupid front load machine and wouldn’t stay put.

Yesterday I was tired and out of sorts and put it down to a long Friday night chat – I stayed up way past my bedtime, but was very okay with that.

But today when Butters stood over me at 6 in the flipping morning, I still felt out of sorts and knew I had plenty of rest Saturday.  Then I remembered I didn’t feel 100% on Friday.

Ringing in my ears, my teeth hurt and I had one of my spells.  And felt hot.

So I’m going out on a limb here and assuming I probably only felt good during my late night chat because of the late night chat and I may very well have a little cold or something.

All I know is after I get home, the most pathetic of ‘cleaning’ will be done and I’m hitting the couch.

Seriously – NO ONE is smiling in here today!  I tried smiling and peeking around to see if it was contagious … but no one was even looking.  Probably a good thing because if they saw me sitting here alone smiling – they might think me odd.

Which I am.

But they don’t know me well enough to know that’s a good thing.

image

Mean pink lady just came and sat across from me with her husband. She is hacking and scowling and now apparently fetching her glasses.  Doesn’t look like the husband cares what she’s gone to fetch.

 

 

 

Je suis ignorant

I guess you could classify this under social commentary, but I don’t think I’ve earned that right as I don’t participate enough in society.

If I’m ignorant when it comes to a topic, I admit it.  If I’m ignorant when it comes to a topic, I try not to have an opinion until I’ve educated myself.  And I mean IMMERSED and researched.  All sides.  All information I can find.

___________________________

My first reaction, as a writer,  to the horror that occurred in Paris was to post ‘Je suis Charlie’ on my Facebook along with R.I.P.

charlie

Afterall, ‘Freedom of Speech!’ right?

I know what I’m told.

I know what I read.

I don’t know where people who tell me things learned the ‘things’.

I don’t know what is true and what is false when I am reading something.

Unless I know the person a story is about personally, and they’ve confided in me their motives and I’ve seen how they not only talk, but walk in life – I can’t believe anything I read or hear.

My friend Jake posted something today that had me chiming in.  In lieu of screen shots, I’ll share the link, then the back and forth out of respect for keeping his full name and profile pic anonymous.

Here’s the link

Here’s the back and forth:

Me: (After not even reading the whole article) I love this comment:” #JeSuisAhmed, the policeman who died defending a magazine’s right to insult his religion and culture” Yeah. just horrible all around.

Jake: It’s so reactionary, so fucking ignorant

Jake: How is it that we can’t differentiate between martyring someone and enabling terrorist martyrs ?

Me: I’m lost now. I’m really not sure how I feel about any of this. I truly liked and agree with that comment.

Jake: It’s not easy – it’s so damn disturbing

Jake: Sorry I think I am not helping – I am angry at social media for simplifying this

Me: Bottom line for me – I’m torn. I think about the WWII cartoons of Jews … and how horrific that all turned out. Then I think of how radical the extremists are and no matter how offended they were, they still don’t get to come in and kill someone to edit them. They threatened, he stood his ground, they followed through. They don’t get to dictate that way. On the other hand, I think the press goes beyond freedom of speech sometimes and crosses over into the realm of ‘hate crime’ with their satire. Especially in the opinions of extreme believers. UG. It’s all so bonkers. Je suis Ahmed & Charlie. And open to hearing others opinions about it.

Jake: We have the luxury of witnessing violence without facing it often – I support everything you are saying here – and that’s exactly what i hoped for – intelligent thought, based in experience – and I know you have more than most

Me: wow. Thanks.

(I should clarify, this is a man who has traveled, whose opinion I value – who has, like me, experienced things outside of one country.  He’s an artist and a writer and an dear friend. So my ‘wow thanks’ was sincere.)

___________________________

But I don’t deserve it.

I have nothing much to add to this conversation but my own struggles with what is black, what is white, what is grey – and most of it is grey.  I can only share my confusion at the world.

My frustration with religion.  My awe that there are people out there that believe SO strongly in something they are willing to die for it – be it not heeding a death threat or blowing themselves up.

I do not have that kind of Faith in anything.

I don’t.

I could go on and on and on.  About almost envying that amount of Faith – about how there are extremists in ALL religions and beliefs.  Westboro Church, do they get freedom of speech?  Who decides what is appropriate and what is not appropriate?

If we’re against someone killing because they believe so strongly that they are right, does that mean we are against the death penalty?

I’m going to stop, because I’m ‘Tangent Queen’ as we know.

I know that I don’t know enough yet.  Not to feel confident in having faith in a response or an opinion.

But what IS the difference between:

This

germanprop

And this:

charliemag

My ‘social commentary’ final thoughts:

There are extremists in every genre of society.  I do not judge a belief system by the actions of a few.

I love life, liberty and humanity.

There still is SUCH good – Please watch this video filmed in Istanbul (grateful  to have visited there years ago) and let’s take a mental bath! (Ironically, this was posted on my wall today for a different reason by my dear friend Betty.  So glad I watched it.  Please watch to the end if you can – for reasons …)

I know I could use a hug right now.

#Je suis CharMed.

Pressing Mute (But still playing in my head)

For as many topics as I’ve shared that have a tinge of sadness, you should know that I have the exuberance of a goofy dog who just heard “walk?” when it comes to happy matters of the heart.

dog

It’s beyond exuberance – and after the initial high (compare it to that of a 4-year-old having consumed an entire pillow case full of Halloween candy) I have to remember that I live in the real world, and not everyone is on the same page as me.

I worry sometimes that my eagerness and energy might scare something precious away.

I take everything to the nth degree. I do.

I read too much into things people say – I chastise myself too much for things I say.

Constantly apologizing for not filtering or editing.

I just don’t play games you know?

If I’m in, I’m IN. Not just my feet. After having taken a dive, I’m up over my head and already finding new ways to move in the water.  Waving and yelling at those on the sidelines “Come in!!! It’s awesome!”

I’m a handful.

Seriously.

You say one thing to me and I’ve dissected it and run at least 20 scenarios from it.

Tangent QUEEN.

overthink

Friends that know me and start to say “Have you considered …” will stop, because of course they know I have.

Considered it, riffed off of it and have a Rolodex of other thoughts that spawned off of that one.

Yup.

But the great thing is they rein me in a bit and try to help me focus like a grown up.

I’m also a hopeless romantic, in spite of the fact that I am still sans Prince. And in spite of the fact that I will go to my grave saying “I don’t need anyone.” When really, we all need someone. It just has to be the right someone.

I’ve joked in the past about a poor clerk checking me out (yeah, both ways – at once) and I’ve already played our whole life out in the time it took him to scan my few items and before I’ve even paid, we’ve broken up. In my head.

But the thing of it is – I can trust my gut.

In the past, I let myself ride the high knowing it wasn’t going to work out – because damn it, sometimes you just need to FEEL that hope right?

Now I’m finding myself cautious and turning my volume down from an 11 to maybe a 4 … because my gut says I need to.

And Ms. No Filter is going to filter. And not say anything more about that.

For now.

Watcha waiting for??

Had the most vivid dream last night. No, really, it was an entire MOVIE!  With a title.

I usually dream I forgot my camera and see amazing things.  Last night, I had my camera, and everything no one else could see, I could see through my lens.  Which made me kind of  a super hero.

I solved crimes – creepy ass crimes, but crimes none the less.

I saw ghosts, and past crimes through my camera.

Normal eyes could not see what I saw.

The name of my dream movie was ‘Exposed’.

Go ahead – use it.  I’m not writing a screenplay anytime soon.  Just give me a credit somewhere. lol. Also dreamed about a dilapidated house that I was fixing.

Both of these things are awesome.

I used to analyze dreams – and when you dream of a house, it’s you.  Which room?  More about you.  Attic?  Your head – thoughts … bathroom … what needs cleansing, ridding of … bedroom – romantic life or rest, depending on your wake state.  Get it?

I was working on this house.

It was a seriously long night with an entire movie and fixing up my ‘house’.

Woke up with a positive attitude.

And a smile on my face.

And popped this song in the CD player of my car

SO how I’ve been feeling – from the writer’s block to not wanting to leave my home to realizing I have so much ahead of me.  What AM I waiting for???

I’m ready to take a chance.

I’m ready for my turn.