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Musings from the Laundromat: Cake, foot-in-mouth and Mr. Stare edition
Had to do some serious motivational speeches in my head this morning to get out of bed and to the laundromat. Mostly they consisted of: ‘when you get everything done, you can have cake.’
Some were more along the lines of ‘You get out of life what you put into it’ and ‘you’ll feel better after your chores are done and you can relax’ but, mostly they all ended with cake.
So here I am. Things weren’t looking good when I arrived.
Someone was at my table. (‘My’ table, lol)
Not just anybody – but a male who, I felt looking at me the whole time I was putting my items in the washing machines. I tried not to look up, but eventually had to and when I made eye contact, he didn’t break it!
Creeped me out. I felt his stare and could see his focus on me in my peripheral vision.
I hurried to the rainbow umbrella table and stared ahead. At this lovely sight.
Yes, the laundromat bathrooms are ready for Halloween. Good grief.
Normally this would please me – but sitting under the giant rainbow umbrella juxtaposed with staring at such a dank, yellowed, dismal view left me feeling uncomfortable.
Especially since Mr. Stare was still staring at me from MY table.
The view and the sensation were about as pleasant as finding a Band Aid in the dryer, after drying your clothes and knowing no one at your house injured themselves.
Yeah.
That kind of unpleasant.
Anyway – he’s gone now.
So back to motivation and cake.
My son’s girlfriend turned 19 yesterday and when they returned from a day at her house and dinner – they sat and we chatted and laughed AND … she had brought me a piece of saved cake.
It wasn’t until she left and Nic squirreled his way under my tin foiled treasure, that it was revealed in all it’s cakey glory that it came with candles.
How adorable is that? Who thinks to leave them in?
Well, it certainly had the appropriate number of candles because I behaved as if I were three yesterday.
I have this annoying habit of speaking my mind.
I really try not to! I do!
I sit myself down and explain why it is not a good time to bring something up, or why I should not say what’s on my mind. I nod at myself and agree – then proceed to do it anyway.
I infuriate me sometimes. But I can never stay mad at me long.
So the weekend has pretty much consisted of me behaving like a 3 year-old – being extra emotional – feeling insecure, crying at animal videos and craving cake.
Wonderful.
Even Butters has been in an odd mood. She took herself off to bed last night after giving up waiting on me and she’s doing her really good imitation one of those poor, unloved animals you see on those gut wrenching commercials.
Notice she’s being very ‘unloved’ from her spot on my bed. Which I’m allowing even though she’s shedding like crazy.
I’m hoping to cheer myself and the dog up by cleaning when I get home with the laundry and letting some light and fresh air into the house.
And! By removing the foot from my mouth and inserting cake.
A Mile in Gifted Shoes
I’m wearing someone elses shoes today. Literally.
The benefit to being one of only three people in my company with sized 10 feet, is getting new shoes that for whatever reason didn’t fit the other two (or would it technically be four?) sized 10 feet.
I’ve never been a shoe girl.
I don’t spend a lot of money on clothes or shiny things either.
I have to admit it’s been a treat having a choice of footwear.
I was thinking and taking my thoughts on a tangent walk (as I tend to do) about ‘walking in someone elses shoes’.
That old saying “Never judge someone until you’ve walked a mile in their shoes” – I really try to live that way.
(Of course, the researcher that I am, I had to find out where that quote came from, and it wasn’t easy! Rumor has it the original quote was Native American and more like: ‘Do not judge a man until you’ve walked two moons in his moccasins.’)
Well, moccasins, shoes, boots, slippers – no matter. I truly try to remind myself that I do not know why someone behaves, acts or thinks the way that they do.
I also find myself imagining the worst case scenario for them.
As if they need a really, really good reason for their poor choices or actions.
From the simple, ‘perhaps they’re late to work’ when someone cuts me off on the road, to ‘perhaps they were not loved’ when someone treats others cruelly.
I wonder though, at what point is a person simply responsible for changing their faults, big or small, and not get to excuse them with their past?
At some point, doesn’t somebody have the right to tell another, “your behavior is unacceptable and you need to decide to change it.”
Perhaps not.
(I hope it’s obvious I’m not referring to criminal behavior or a child that needs correcting.)
Perhaps the closest we get is telling someone, “Your behavior is unacceptable and I am no longer going to be subjected to it.”
It’s none of my business how others live their lives – but it is completely my business and my responsibility to decide what I am willing to allow in my life.
I have a hard time with that.
I have some toxic relationships that I should sever, but for many reasons, I have not.
Is this where I get to play the ‘don’t judge my decision until you’ve walked a mile in my shoes’ card?
Or is this the moment when I realize my cowardice is unacceptable and I have to make a change?
Maybe I’ll feel braver when one of my fellow tall, big footed friends passes on a pair of steel toed boots to me.
Until then – I’ll tread lightly.
My interview with Rainer Höss. Part I
**In honor of Rainer’s book release in Germany, I am reblogging this interview from May. Click on the Amazon link within the interview to purchase the book. There still WILL be a part II to the interview, Rainer has been very busy but things seem to be finding a chaotic rhythm for him lately. On a personal note, congratulations Rainy on the book – I’m so proud to see you holding it! 🙂 **
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It is 3:15 am in Germany as I begin my writing. My friend ‘Rainy’ is sleeping. I miss the ‘ding’ of the email as he shares more and more about his journey, his hopes and his fears.
He is a book I cannot put down – a person I have come to deeply respect and care for in a short time. I do not know what time or even what day it will be…
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This is why there is a stigma …
This story is all over the news here in the U.S. today CLICK HERE
I was instantly disgusted.
I agree that it was stealing, pure and simple.
You KNOW your benefit amount – you KNOW you’re exceeding it!
I’ve shared that my son and I struggled just a few years ago.
I had an amazing job at a well-known bank and made California wages in Arizona. That castle crumbled during the mortgage downfall … and in 2008 I was laid off. The bank eventually closed – which was incredibly sad. The founder lived locally and knowing him, and how hard he worked and how much he cared was heart breaking.
I had a nice severance that I used to try to keep my home – but it didn’t last long. I ended up losing my beautiful home, selling most everything I owned to keep a roof over our heads and food on the table.
I ended my 4 year marriage (for many reasons) made positive changes in my life and kept moving forward. Time went on and I was at the end of my financial rope. I did finally break down and apply for benefits. Medical and food. The basics.
I fought that decision – pride mostly. But, also because even though our cupboards were bare, I knew I was able-bodied and that others had it far worse than I did.
Friend after friend lectured me that I had paid into the system and I had my son to think of before my pride. They were right. I started working when I was 14, and have contributed to the system that is there to help people like me when the sea gets rough.
I continued to look for work, applying for anything – only to be told I was over qualified. And that food assistance was a life saver. Literally. I kept my head above water – ‘how’ is hard to recall right now. But I did.
When I did not only find a job, but a job in my field, it was a miracle in the market at the time. And as SOON as I did get my current job, I reported it to the State. My benefits ended, as they should have.
There were a few more months of struggle as I caught up on some bills that were behind, but catch up I did.
I was told that our health benefits would be stopped also – I made $39 per month too much.
That, I have to admit, was frustrating. I thought the goal was to ‘assist’. To help those who were helping themselves.
And by ‘helping themselves’ I don’t mean in a grabby, greedy, immoral way.
There’s already such a stigma to State benefits. When a group of people abuses the system it just makes it worse for those who don’t.











