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Musings from the laundromat: Truth Edition
Inspiration comes when you least expect it.
Mine came approximately 20 minutes ago in the form of a friend’s status on Facebook.
She was considering authenticity and how not sharing every detail effects it.
I have the same issue when it comes to this blog – and it spills over into other areas of my life too.
The conclusion I came to was that the grey area would have to be. This is my journey and it is not fair to write about someone elses part in it.
But I loathe editing myself. I loathe it, and yet, I do it every day.
I know the following truths about myself:
I love with abandon.
I detest lying.
I have an artistic soul.
I am not as strong as people think I am.
There is so much you don’t know. Pieces of the puzzle that are necessary to make the picture clear are missing.
Omitted.
In the car, within a flood of thoughts and ideas, an image of a carnival came to mind.
I photograph everything. I love taking pictures. Snap shots – memories – art for art’s sake.. Whatever speaks to me is photographed.
Back at the carnival, I imagined lights and families – photographs of smiling children holding pink cotton candy. But that isn’t a fair representation of ‘the carnival’.
I would want gritty photos of the staff setting up the rides – dirt on their jeans, sweat running into their eyes. Pictures of parents with sad, tired faces – financial worry etched into their brows. The litter – the splitting seams of the cheap midway prizes.
All of it.
All.
This need drives me. I stumble upon something I know nothing about, and I have to research to understand it. A book ends in ambiguity and I’m annoyed. A movie or documentary touches me and I must see ‘behind the scenes’.
I’m on a constant quest to discover the why. What makes people tick? When I ask questions of a friend or a stranger for that matter – I’m genuinely interested in the answers.
I question myself all the time too. What was my motive? What is this feeling? Why am I doing what I’m doing?
Truth.
I need it like air and water, calories and sleep. I need it like dreams and love and knowledge.
I can respect the truth. No matter if I like the answer.
I’ve learned to call bullshit on myself. I am honest with me.
I had a thought this Summer that I wanted to bare it all – literally. I wanted to do a very tasteful nude photo session – somewhere out in the desert.
I was comfortable enough with my body and the place that my head and heart was in to strip down to nothing.
I was going to use some of the photos in a post about baring it all. But how can I? I withold information all the time. I haven’t earned the right to post modest nudes and speak about exposing every part of me (in writing, not the photos – that wouldn’t make them very postable would it?)
I used a photo in a post about ‘home’ that I edited. It was a topless photo I took myself. I wanted to capture the phase I was in of being free and naked – yet not completely there yet. The outside world was still … well, outside.
This is the original photo.
And it says so much about me.
I am comfortable in my skin, in comfortable environments.
And that’s not very brave. And it’s not very honest.
But it is my truth.
And if I can tell you that I’m not telling you everything, I think that puts me one step closer to baring it all.
I’ll keep searching.
Faux chocolat – métiers d’art
Sounds a lot fancier in French. ‘Fake chocolate – arts and crafts’ just doesn’t have the same ring to it.
I said I would be doing arts and crafts today … two people I am fond of are having birthdays next week. I thought it would be sweet to make their gifts.
Here’s what I did.
I like working with Sculpey – it doesn’t taste awful. No, you shouldn’t be eating it – but you’ll see why it was in my mouth in the next picture.
So, you start by kneading and molding and sculpting – then, since I think chocolates look more realistic if you take a bite out of them, you BITE ‘EM!
I decided one of the chocolates needed to have a coffee bean on top. Pushing the creative envelope lol.
Here’s a closer look at each:
You bake them when you’re satisfied. I had lost my instructions – so put them in the oven @ 275 degrees for half and hour – then checked on them every 5 or 10 minutes after that.
I was also painting boxes to put these in. The whole premise of my gift was ‘For a Sweet Friend’ but I couldn’t just hand them a fake chocolate.
So here’s the boxes rough painted and adorned with a small mirror. I figure they can use them for trinkets or jewelry afterwards.
And here are the boxes after a subtle paint job.
The hardest part about the process is waiting for the clay to cool down after baking it. I’m impatient. I want to paint immediately.
But, wait I did.
Then … the paint job.
Still have some touch up to do on the above ‘chocolate’ – but as impatient as I am, I had to blog too soon as well.
Now, today was REALLY REALLY windy. My initial thought was, I can acrylic seal these items and they’ll dry in no time!
*Do not gloss your crafts in gale force winds! * I had sealer in my eyes, on my hands, in my lungs. Probably not a good thing – but parts that were never shiny are now shiny.
As for ‘drying in no time’ – that also came along with a smattering of dust and local flora. (There may even have been an ant or two stuck to my ‘drying in no time’ boxes.) Nice extra ‘texture’ for my pieces. Live and learn. Live and learn.
I’m working on the cards – I’ll draw and paint tomorrow. And I really hope the recipients don’t read this post. I should have started with *SPOILER ALERT*. Oh well.
Here are the (almost) finished products.
I made a bracelet and the other box has a sentimental item in there too.
Homemade gifts say ‘Love’. I hope they do anyway. Just in case they didn’t, I made clay hearts too – they serve as gift tags
I’m so glad these ladies were born. Definitely worth inhaling acrylic sealer for. x
Now, I’m going to brush my teeth for the 10th time and finish getting the clay out of them 😉
Musings from the Laundromat: Saturday Edition
Yes, Saturday!
Insert dramatic music and shocked face here. Or, a dramatic chipmunk will do:
I am still determined to get two entire days in a row of pure movie-watching, snack-eating, guilt-free nap-if-I-want-to debauchery. But, since I’m the kind of person who can’t sit still – it’s doubtful that will happen even with the opportunity.
I was going to name this post: Random nonsense – until I realized that could be the title of all my other posts (except the interviews.)
First random thing – as I drove here, I did have my reservations about switching up my routine. Would my table be open? What about my washing machines I like to use? Would the place be mobbed? Then I chuckled at the last thought – it IS Saturday after all, and other people have things that they do – outside of the house – for fun.
The place is pretty empty – but my table is taken. I’m at the umbrella table. But, on the upside, the umbrella table is right next to the washing machines I like to use, and they were available. Color me … um … happy, but not as happy as this umbrella:
Actual view when I look up
There’s something I’ve been meaning to share (and this is when the men who read my blog might want to go do something else. Wait – there I go being sexist again! Men could want beautiful hair! Sorry guys.) I have been meaning to share it because us ladies know that when it comes to products that actually work and live up to their claims, they are few and far between.
I found something that exceeded my expectations – and it’s only fair to pass on the good news.
AND … it’s cheap.
Here’s the product:
No, I’m not being paid for this testimonial. (I wish – but I wouldn’t sell out on here) I would never endorse a product I hadn’t tried and loved. But try and love this pair I did. 🙂
The shampoo has little beads in it – they burst and lather and the smell is amazing. After I rinse, my hair is literally ‘squeaky-clean’. It’s prepped and ready for the conditioner. Usually when you don’t pay an insane amount of money on a conditioner – you can tell as soon as you squeeze some into your hand. Not this one. It’s thick – and rinses out leaving the hair feeling almost like you used a sulfate free, more expensive kind.
I have naturally wavy hair – so I straighten it quite a bit when I’m not in a curly mood. As a result, I have some split ends. The very first time I used the shampoo and conditioner – my hair looked amazing. And not weighted down. Light, soft, smooth. Here’s me being smug with my freshly washed hair:
Anyway – get it.
I’ll wrap this up with some Butters. With time on my hands, I’ve been annoying the hell out of her. Taking so many photos and chatting to her, expecting an answer. Here she was being adorable before I left with her ‘baby’:
And here she is giving me an increasingly common look. “Get out of my face with the camera.”
I say no. I’m staying in that wrinkly, adorable face.
But, lucky for her, I’ll be occupied after I get home indulging in some arts and crafts. I’ll be pulling out the clay and the paint today – I’ll share the results in another ‘Random nonsense’ post.
Until then Happy Saturday everyone!
Breaking News: My table just opened up. I shall be relocating. I sit with my back to the wall like a cop. Like to keep an eye on the place … never know when a sock might try to make a break for it.
A womans ‘day off’
A week or so ago, I realized I needed a break. My attitude was reflecting it and my body was shouting it.
I planned Monday and Tuesday off. I SO wanted three days in a row with nowhere I HAD to be!!
My time off was granted!!! My inner physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted woman summoned the energy for jazz hands and cartwheels as I read that email.
Then one of my bosses mentioned a presentation he was giving at a real estate office and that he wanted me to go with him. Tuesday.
Sigh.
So, three days in a row was not to be. I switched my days off to Friday and Monday.
That’s fine. Two days in a row is better than no days in a row. (I do my second job on Saturdays if the days aren’t adding up for you.)
The last three days, I worked sick. My body must have caught wind of the upcoming time off and gave the order: “Okay! Shut down! Head, stomach, ear, muscles – feel free to fall apart now. Fever, kick in! Let’s go! Let’s go!”
I kid you not, I was standing outside in 94 degree weather with goosebumps on my skin. Chills … dizziness – just generally unwell.
I was D-O-N-E!
So, let me tell you about my first day of ‘sickation’. Yes, we took the scenic view to get to my point. You’re welcome. 😉
I don’t know if it’s primarily a woman thing – (and I don’t want to be sexist, but from years of observation, I’m pretty sure it IS primarily a ‘woman thing’) but I can NOT relax until everything that needs doing has been done.
Seriously incapable of chilling out if there are dishes in the sink, dog hairs on the carpet, dust on the furniture, errands that need to be run.
I awoke at 5:30 am and wanted nothing more than to curl back into my sheets and close my eyes.
But, Butters had something urgent to attend to outside. A bird must have flown by the house, or a rabbit must have looked over at her yard. Those are the sort of emergencies that she tends to.
Far be it from me to deny her the feeling of accomplishment. And, she is a woman, probably she couldn’t relax knowing she hadn’t barked at an early morning passing car.
I feel you Butters – I get it.
So, up I got.
And up I stayed.
By 7:30, I decided to ‘just do it’. Nike my way through the morning and enjoy the afternoon.
Grocery shopping entailed 3 separate shops as they each had different items on sale. By 10:00 am I was home.
Of course, Nic was still sleeping, so I hauled in the goods and put them away.
I do try to carry all the bags at once – but this cold/flu thing has rendered my muscles into jelly. SO! Three trips later, I was done.
If you’re like me, this is also the moment you take to clear out the fridge of expired foods and uneaten leftovers.
I stood and looked around the kitchen. Whimpered a little. And sprung into action. Next was the living room – which extended into my bedroom, connected to my bathroom. Then when it became apparent that Nic’s bathroom wasn’t going to clean itself, I did his too.
In between cleaning (and placing this adorable pumpkin in my kitchen!)
I took advantage of the heavy winds outside. I washed my fake plants and put them outside to blow dry.
House done.
Check.
Next, the side job I took on. I finished the last 500 of thousands of envelopes I have been stamping, labeling, stuffing and sealing.
Finished with that, said goodbye to Nic and his girlfriend and vacuumed for the second time today. Wind + desert sand + shedding dog = multiple vacuum moments.
Finally got to sit down for a few moments after that … to pay bills at the computer.
I realized I had forgotten an item on my shopping list – and I would have just let it go if it was something I could do without. Went BACK to the store for dish liquid.
I didn’t leave with just dish liquid though – I decided to treat myself. I guiltily put a small bouquet of flowers in my cart.
Do you love my little art model? It’s like it’s saying “Whoa! Where did those come from?”
I think I deserve them.
And now, at 5:33 pm, 12 hours since my eyelids parted on this Friday – I am FINALLY on the couch. After a achingly wonderful, welcome shower, and baking some cookies.
I can now take some medicine and exhale.
Until it’s time to make dinner.
I know I’m not the only one – women, I salute you!
And as for Butters – I think I exhausted her with my whirlwind of determined activity. She actually rolled her eyes at me! I caught it on camera to share with you.
Wishing everyone a very happy weekend! And I hope you find time to recharge.
My (too?) gay proud memo moment
Just had a very eye-opening experience.
I get memos all the time from lenders – I’m alerted when rates improve or worsen, when a new program is available and when there is a change in procedures with an existing program.
So I’m sitting and working and ‘ding!’ I have an email from a lender we use a lot.
Ever have a moment when you feel like you’re part of something important? Historical? When you know you won’t soon forget the moment you’re in and have a feeling your children might remember it too?
I was a student aid for the attendance office in high school. On January 28, 1986, I was in that office when I had to deliver a note to each classroom advising the teachers and students that we lost 7 souls on Space Shuttle Challenger. (It wouldn’t be until a few years later when the gravity of that task hit me.)
I still have the rate sheets from 9/11 – the alerts and market suspensions.
And today – a good moment.
I read the following memo and knew that I was part of a special moment:
“Effective immediately, on a case-by-case basis, VA will provide the home loan guaranty benefit to same-sex married couples in a manner consistent with the benefit currently in place for opposite-sex married couples. After reviewing the following information, VA will determine whether a same-sex married couple can be qualified for a VA loan using the income of both spouses:
- Date and State of marriage
- State of residence at the time of marriage
- State in which the subject property is located
- State in which the couple currently resides
- Estimated closing date of the VA loan”
(Etc. I won’t type the whole email – I don’t need a plagiarism suit)
So! I’m reading this – and the grin on my face is getting bigger and bigger … The fact that it’s the VA loan is even more exciting to me. From “Don’t ask don’t tell” to VA home loan benefit for same-sex couples?
Very cool.
Now – I ran with the ‘very cool’ sentiment, literally.
Holding the memo that I printed, like Charlie held that golden ticket, I breathlessly shared the news with whomever would listen. My eyes glistening with a shiny happy ‘very cool’ glaze.
Did not – for ONE second – occur to me that not everyone would share my excitement or my opinion.
Oof.
I mean – seriously, NEVER did the thought that perhaps not everyone would be as shiny eyed as me over it, enter my mind. At all. Ever.
Naïve!
For sure.
I mentioned to the first person I told (after my eye-opening experience) that I needed to look at that. I needed to look at the fact that I didn’t think anyone would have differing opinions. He said, “Well … you wouldn’t.”
That made me feel a little better (but not less naïve). I’m not comfortable that the thought wouldn’t occur to me that not everyone was open-minded and for equality.
And I’m still surprised.
Oh well, years from now, when my great-grandchildren are thinking I’m pulling their leg about same-sexed couples being treated differently at one time – I’ll get to share with them the story of ‘the memo’.
Debauchery Soup 