Had a squabble with my son today.
It was unpleasant.
It came on the heels of his 21st birthday.
I started this blog when he was still walking up a dirt road to catch his bus to school!
He was this little …
Our squabble? It was over a bird.
He wanted/wants a bird.
I said no.
We rent – they poop. We rent – they scratch their seeds. We rent – he doesn’t pay any of it.
Truth is, I’ve always wanted a bird too.
But, not a caged one.
One I could put to bed after it flew free in my (owned) home with interaction.
We don’t have that to give.
What he DID get for his birthday was semi-impulsive and it dawned on me today, he has more of me in him than I had thought.
What he didn’t DO on his birthday made me proud.
He thought he was driving later to a friends after his birthday dinner to do college homework – so, he didn’t have a drop of alcohol.
I SO appreciate that.
My son has common sense.
As for the tattoo (of which, I have four) I didn’t love it.
No, I’ll be honest.
I didn’t love the idea of it – because, he HAD a plan.
He wanted to integrate nature and technology and was going to be proud to have that imbedded in his flesh for eternity.
After consulting with a tattoo artist, he was told it would be 5-6 hours in a chair and perhaps he needed a pre-tattoo. (I’m sure that wasn’t the sentence the guy used – but hey, I’m paraphrasing.)
I felt like he was being coerced into an extra tat.
When Nic sent me a mock up of the tat – and I saw Alice –
I knew he didn’t have me in mind. (Although, I WAS hoping for his first to be “MOM” in a heart – just kidding.)
Because, this is what he brought me back from his big trip to England:
But, he had heard the story over and over of when I was in a bus in India as a child reading Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland and the bus hit a man.
No one really cared.
But, when we hit a chicken!!!! We had to pay for not only that chicken, but the chickens it would produce, the eggs those offspring would produce etc. etc.
One less mouth to feed in a 3rd world country is above food that feeds them – to a degree.
I kept reading on that bus – but did catch a glimpse of hamburger head.
It was horrible.
But, we took him somewhere good – and my mind stayed in that book.
Bottom line, I said:
And he is honest. Like me – to the point of discounting himself, if that’s even possible.
We try it, we do – but to lie – it doesn’t lay softly on our chests. I’m glad he got not only impulsiveness, but HONESTY from me.
And now we’ll both always have Alice.
I slept most of yesterday away – I feel guilty about that – like I’d wasted precious life time, then try to convince myself it’s a decadence I deserve occasionally.
As a result, after also going to bed early, I woke quite frequently in the night. But every time I did, I had that lovely sensation of ‘tomorrow is Sunday – go back to sleep’.
I haven’t been feeling well lately – for about a week I’ve been tired and have a strange goosebump thing going on. It only occurs on my left thigh. My vision has been blurry, my stomach upset and I’ve just been so tired!
I tried not to google – reached out to some friends and then yesterday, after the goosebump phenomena became more frequent, I flipping googled.
So now, I know, it could be anything from a B12 deficiency to a life threatening thing I can’t even pronounce.
I digress. So I slept a lot yesterday.
I awoke promptly at 6 a.m. Put the coffee on and grabbed Butter’s leash.
We ventured out into the yard and after stopping a few times to nibble on grass (her, not me) we headed to her spots.
“Hey! Let’s try to remember you have me on the other end of the leash.” This, after she tried to take me on an adventure.
It’s a gauntlet out there! She has mazes and pathways that I can’t join her in exploring. I end up quoting Star Wars’ Padme often, “You’re going down a path I cannot follow!”
There was the one time I tried and ended up in a Superman flight pose hung from a palm tree. No joke. It was like a scene out of Hellraiser.
Barbs dug into my skin suspending me while I tried to maintain hold of her leash. (She had just been spayed and I didn’t want her exerting herself.) Oh how I wish I had a picture of that for you – because looking back, it was VERY comical. Although, at the time, with blood exiting multiple puncture wounds, not so much.
Here’s one picture of her entering her maze. Look carefully, you can see her bum and tail.
And here she is on the other side.
The great thing about this morning was the fact that it’s overcast and we have rain in our imminent future.
As I drove to the laundromat, sparse sprinkles hit my windshield. Perfect weather for a Sunday.
And, perfect movie weather. I’ll get my chores done in record time and watch ‘Room’ which was finally available in the Redbox. And I will rest some more.
Because I’ve decided it’s not a waste of a day if you’re taking care of yourself.
Why I hate being here
Because my mom isn’t right now!!!
Why I hate cats!
I don’t … But OH my GOD! They are so needy!
What the actual post is about … Loving TINY and a broken tooth.
And how they have affected me.
Oh, let’s add ‘the dog’ and how I now experience the ‘in out, in out’ thingy that dog people do.
I HAVE a dog. She doesn’t do this – she also doesn’t cuddle, so I think I have a backfired dog that I love anyway lol.
I’m house sitting.
First 20 minutes I’m here – I break a tooth, no joke.
Left a message with my dentist and I’m PISSED! Because I JUST paid my credit card off and actually put money into savings!!!!!!!!
It takes a while.
Even when they’ve met you, they meet you all over again (the feral turned domestic ones. I actually had the ‘biter’ NOT bite me tonight!)
As for my Tiny Dancer … She is skin and bones.
I played this … Because she likes it when I sing it to her …
But, she didn’t like the ‘me not singing it’ version. 😦
I’m just so sad right now you guys.
Sad because the pets are sad.
Sad because my mum is sad.
Sad because my Nannie – who I love so much – is passing.
But! Glad my dad got a night off. Glad I could step up and step in.
Glad I could be here and that my son will be taking a turn.
THIS is what life is about.
And loving those who are still here – and doing all we can.
But it’s creepy too – because people you think WILL be there tomorrow maybe will not be – so appreciate!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Going to sleep, with my broken tooth, my broken heart and my hopefulness.
There’s something to be said about your child outgrowing you – I just don’t have the words.
But I’ll try.
I’m ‘house sitting’ right now and the first night had my son saying, “It’s too quiet”
Missing my presence.
Yeah. 😦 He’s starting to ‘adult’ and it was only one day until he was used to the ‘quiet’.
I miss him so much right now and miss Butters and miss home.
I feel as if I’m amongst ghosts. Not the dead – but what used to happen in this home.
Breakfast, for both family and pets.
Upkeep of the two tiered home – and the outside garden.
My mum is the epitome of a ‘stay at home mum’ with no equal. She keeps things going. Not just the home, not just the animals, but the outdoors and all her amazing ideas. And I’m sitting here, writing, seeing much of her work dead.
I thought her garden was on auto water timing.
THAT killed me when I finally saw her garden in daylight.
I want to soak everything “BRING IT BACK!!!!” Of course, that isn’t possible.
What have I learned.
Well … Other than the fact that I carry my sons heart …
Feral cat #1 has the most beautiful eyes. DEEP green around the pupil and a lighter shade of green around that.
The photo doesn’t capture that – but, I’ve paid enough attention.
I paid THAT much attention. I see beauty in what is around me.
My ‘bed’ lol. I can’t sleep in any bed here – I grabbed a quilt from the guest room – but the residents took it up.
Photo of the ONLY time Plucky wasn’t on my chest or in my nostrils. Not a cage – she was sitting under a stool.
Meesh. AKA: Sissy. And I know mum misses her and I know it’s reciprocated. THAT reunion, I’d love to be a fly on the wall for.
And – Tiny. Tiny Dancer
I had a moment with her
Also tonight, I spoke to my ex-fiancée and lept into a VERY cold pool. Then took the most amazing shower, ^_^ ?
So I’m clean, adventurous, feeling handy here … And minty fresh lol.