Blog Archives
Musings from the laundromat: Change edition
“If you need change, I can’t give it to you.”
Apropos.
My laundry lady went on to say, “The girl last night locked the vault.”
Made me start thinking about how much I DO need change. And not the break a twenty kind.
But I’m working on that. Vaults be damned.
I guess this is kind of a change … Sure not ginger ale.
And, thanks to our recent monsoon shenanigans, there are all these fun plants wrapped around mundane objects, really found this beautiful.
So, there’s a couple of changes.
But not the ones I had in mind.
There comes a day when you wake up, look around you and realize, “I am approaching 50 and I haven’t much to look forward to.”
There comes a day when you wake up and repeat your day like a pattern and loathe it.
I’m there.
I have an unchecked lottery ticket in my purse. A dream of what my life could be and health issues I want mended.
I have a bonkers sense of hope, and a realistic feeling of being ‘stuck’.
Those things coupled become completely frustrating.
It’s like ticking off days on a calendar, only, it’s the countdown to the end.
So, what do I want to change, and how to go about it?
I’ll know more about that soon.
Mostly though, I stay in the moment and appreciate my life.
But I can’t keep doing my pattern forever. I need more for myself.
I am capable of change, and open to it.
Now I just need to check that lottery ticket I suppose.
Musings from the Laundromat: Looking Forward edition.
It’s a beautiful morning.
I showered, tended to my dog and less than half an hour I sit at my laundromat table with almost dry hair. Got to love the desert – nature’s hair dryer.
OK, sometimes I love the desert.
But there are many other times that I feel too far away from something or someone.
(Side note: I’ve yet to tell the laundry lady that I’ve stopped drinking coffee, and after her smile and our little chat she put on a pot for me.
How do I tell her I don’t want it when she only makes it for me?
I don’t. I will be having a cup. Because it makes her feel good to make it for me.)
______________________________
My head has been in the clouds for the past week or so. It’s been hard to focus on the things I used to focus on.
Which, is a good thing, because left to my own devices and imagination, I’m usually not walking down quaint pathways, but dead-end alleys in my head.
Negative ‘what if’s’ have been brightened to hopeful ones.
I’m looking forward instead of backward and that is also a good thing, because I’m not the most graceful of creatures and tend to trip up when I’m not focused on today or tomorrow, but rather, yesterday.
“Do you think it’s because we’re older? That we know what we want sooner?”
“Yes. We already know what works and what doesn’t in our lives. We’re more confident and have experiences to draw upon.”
A conversation I had with someone I love.
______________________________
And now I sit, sipping the coffee I’ve given up, and one of my favorite songs, Killer Queen, plays in the background on the radio.
And there is a faint smile on my lips as I type.
And there is a calmness in my heart.
And there is much on my mind – but I’ll keep that to myself – for now.
Musings from the Laundromat: Fathers and Felons edition
First of all, Happy Father’s Day to all the great dad’s out there. And Happy Father’s Day also to all you moms that have done it alone. I’m raising an imaginary glass of champagne at the screen and cheering you all.
I’m sure the dad’s are thinking, “Great. Couldn’t you be raising an imaginary beer or single malt?”
No.
Onto felons.
(My segues are ingenious, she says sarcastically while moving the imaginary glass of champagne out of the way so it’s not knocked over by her writing prowess.)
Yesterday was a pajama day for me. Just me, the dog and Litchfield Penitentiary.
Well, almost. I have 3 episodes to go.
I’m definitely enjoying Season 4 over Season 3. No spoilers. I’ll review the show when you’ve all had a change to binge watch.
So after today’s Fathers Day brunch across the river, I’ll be returning to my Netflix nest and finishing up those remaining episodes … Then I’ll feel guilty about not having scrubbed the house – then either a) get over it or b) actually scrub the house. I’m thinking maybe a little of both.
Time to check on the machines … And drink my weekly cup of coffee (I still haven’t had the heart to tell the laundry lady I don’t drink it anymore. But since she’s so sweet to make it just for me – I must courteously caffeine.)
Once again, happy Father’s Day Soupers!!!
Musings from the Laundromat: Wagging and still breathing edition
Awoke to Butters wagging and breathing near me. I don’t think she gets the concept of ‘weekend’. That’s ok. I needed to be up early to get to the laundromat.
Waggy/breathy is now home and I am the only one here at the ‘place of laundry musings.’
I slept well. Much thanks to my bosses who bought me a pillow top mattress cover and uber comfy pillow for my birthday. I think maybe they were over my response to “How are you?” Asked each morning being – “Tired!”
Today, it is my birthday.
47.
Crazy.
Time has FLOWN!
Time has also dipped and swooped and sometimes hung comfortably riding a current.
I didn’t get that ‘It’s my birthday feeling’ today. You remember when we were kids and could barely sleep the day before? Like our own personal Christmas Eve? Long gone are those days. Or, ‘eves’ I should say.
And this morning – all I could think was that I didn’t want to get out of my comfy bed.
But out I am and will be joining my parents for brunch later.
Then grocery shopping.
I put everything off yesterday as I did a Netflix marathon of season 4 ”Call the Midwife’. I crawled out of my nest a couple of times to fetch sustenance – then back to my OH so comfy bed.
So here I sit and I’m sipping a cup of coffee, even though I’ve given coffee up, because my laundry lady makes a 1/2 pot just for me.
Bless her heart.
And feeling very grateful to still be on the planet.
Oh, on my way out … As I held the door for waggy/breathy, I spotted the sun shining on my sweet Nannie.
I think she was saying, “Happy Birthday ‘Manda”
Have a great day Soupers!
Musings from the day that no laundry was done.
Hello Soupers.
First of all, happy Mother’s Day to all those who mother. Whether it be their own child, another’s child – a fur baby. Happy Mother’s Day also to the truly single dads out there.
I spent today without my mother as she’s still in England.
I’m still house sitting.
My son arrived after noon and I was SO glad to see him.
He made a collage for me of notes I’ve left for him over the years, some over 7 years old.
I also received the traditional ‘hastily made card’.
But what meant so much more was him just showing up.
We went and ate Mexican food locally and then grabbed some chocolate canollis from the restaurant next door.
The canolli place had a very sad ‘grabby’ machine. It was out of order, but beyond that, had a very sad selection of ungrabbed prizes.
This poor pup stuck under the pile
Me and Nic, and what the heck is up with that owl???
We went to the local bar/gambling establishment after that for Nic to experience. He’s never been in there. I, however, since we lived here years ago have. We stayed maybe 10 minutes and, $50 later.
It was kind of cool – but in a dysfunctional odd sort of way.
He’s my baby. Very strange being in an adult environment with him, but very fun seeing him get carded and then ask for a water. LOL!
We came back to my parents home and ate the conollis. We watched Britains got talent on YouTube and we shared things.
How we were feeling – how life was going – where we wanted to be.
And I was so glad he was with me.
Thing is, I’ve been having DAILY panic/anxiety attacks daily now.
Thing is, I didn’t have one with him here.
I want to go home.
But, I also want to be here for my mother in her time of need.
I am physically, mentally, and definitely emotionally losing it.
And not wanting to add to my moms plate.
I need to see my cardiologist too.
Oh! That’s another thing. I found out that if you donate your body to science, your cremation is free – and whatever is left of you is returned to your loved one.
I’m considering this.
So – bittersweet. Today was bittersweet, but I was very glad to have a mother to say ‘Happy Mothers Day’ to, and a son that showed up.
Debauchery Soup 