Musings from the day that no laundry was done.
First of all, happy Mother’s Day to all those who mother. Whether it be their own child, another’s child – a fur baby. Happy Mother’s Day also to the truly single dads out there.
I spent today without my mother as she’s still in England.
I’m still house sitting.
My son arrived after noon and I was SO glad to see him.
He made a collage for me of notes I’ve left for him over the years, some over 7 years old.
I also received the traditional ‘hastily made card’.
But what meant so much more was him just showing up.
We went and ate Mexican food locally and then grabbed some chocolate canollis from the restaurant next door.
The canolli place had a very sad ‘grabby’ machine. It was out of order, but beyond that, had a very sad selection of ungrabbed prizes.
We went to the local bar/gambling establishment after that for Nic to experience. He’s never been in there. I, however, since we lived here years ago have. We stayed maybe 10 minutes and, $50 later.
It was kind of cool – but in a dysfunctional odd sort of way.
He’s my baby. Very strange being in an adult environment with him, but very fun seeing him get carded and then ask for a water. LOL!
We came back to my parents home and ate the conollis. We watched Britains got talent on YouTube and we shared things.
How we were feeling – how life was going – where we wanted to be.
And I was so glad he was with me.
Thing is, I’ve been having DAILY panic/anxiety attacks daily now.
Thing is, I didn’t have one with him here.
I want to go home.
But, I also want to be here for my mother in her time of need.
I am physically, mentally, and definitely emotionally losing it.
And not wanting to add to my moms plate.
I need to see my cardiologist too.
Oh! That’s another thing. I found out that if you donate your body to science, your cremation is free – and whatever is left of you is returned to your loved one.
I’m considering this.
So – bittersweet. Today was bittersweet, but I was very glad to have a mother to say ‘Happy Mothers Day’ to, and a son that showed up.