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Musings from the Laundromat: Moments, and how you can go home again

Checked the mail yesterday and came face to face, or rather, hood to face with a majestic peacock.

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I hear him all the time and in 6 years, he’s eluded me.

We regarded each other for a moment or two, then I slowly drove around him to complete my task.

Those few moments though – kept a smile on my lips all the way home.

It is in the moments.  I know that.  I also know I forget sometimes.

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Laundry lady just came all the way over to tell me the coffee was ready.    The coffee she makes for me.  There’s a moment.

Glaucoma man is here and has already chatted to me twice, excited to share his weekly news.  Another moment.

These people who I share one day a week with who have made such a task as rising early on a Sunday to do chores a pleasure.

Another moment was turning on my ipad after stuffing the washing machines and being surprised by the fact that the WIFI is actually working today.  (Obviously).

It hasn’t been working here for a while – to the point that I just stopped bringing my keyboard and pad.  I didn’t get to tell you about my trip, which I had planned to do last weekend.   I didn’t get to tell  you how I successfully flew.  Not just flew, but mustered the courage to peer out of the window.

I didn’t get to tell you how amazing it was to see my friends and marvel at the changes to a coast I used to call home.

They say “You can never go home.”  But ‘they’ are wrong.

Because it felt like ‘home’ … From the moment I stepped off the plane and felt the immediate comfort and ease of hugging someone special.

It felt like home when I saw friends that I love, friends I hadn’t seen in over a decade.  Held them tight – met children I had watched pregnancy announcements about and birth pictures on Facebook.

If felt like home on the water silently cruising the Elkhorn Slough thanks to my dear friend and Captain, Brian.

I laughed remembering how our dogs used to ‘escape’ our 3 and a half acres of romping room to seek out the slough mud – how my brothers and I had to fetch them and bring them back.

We always returned with the escapees excited and reeking of that mud, while we were exhausted climbing the final hill to home.

Home and memories.

And perhaps new beginnings.

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I’m returning on the 22nd of this month.  I overcame my fear of flying. And I want to make more memories.  To treasure.

 

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it is in the pause

 

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It is in the quiet moments

the noticing of shadows

Light

solitary mornings

starry skied nights

head tilted back

staring

 

It is in moments of pause

between a thought

and writing it down

It is while I swallow

Exhale

Sigh

 

When I smile without witness

Cry without agenda

Shiver at the beauty of a song

Close my heavy lids and yawn

It is when I lose myself in a thought

 

It is when I gaze upon my child

think of my love

and notice my blessings

that there is peace

silence

truth

2013

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Filled with moments I’ve learned to treasure

and to stay in as long as I could

I’ve laughed with my whole heart

lingered there until the last exhale

I learned to cry

to release – but not to wallow

let tears fall … tasted them on my lips

the salt remembered.

Felt with each tick of the clock, page of the calendar

my mortality

life’s frailty

urgency to live

To savor.

My brushes have been wet with color –  hands covered with clay

My fingers typed so many words!

some that made a difference

many that did not.

My arms have circled family

friends

felt the warmth of what is truly valuable.

I’ve tasted such wondrous things!

Felt my soul soar to crescendo with arias and duets in my ears

Read books I could not put down

been shown new worlds

new ideas

rhythmic sentences

paralyzing paragraphs

I mourned their completion.

I’ve been enchanted by new love

watched my son fall into it

… for the first time

waves of emotion ebbed and flowed – the mother in me releasing her grasp …

(but never letting go)

I’m allowing hope to spread its wings

bracing myself to be brave

to let change

to let love

to let God

I celebrate with my heart this New Years Eve

not with clinking glass

I celebrate all that was

all that was not

all that will be

I celebrate the student I’ve become

and the mystery that’s me.

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