It is in the quiet moments
the noticing of shadows
starry skied nights
head tilted back
It is in moments of pause
between a thought
and writing it down
It is while I swallow
When I smile without witness
Cry without agenda
Shiver at the beauty of a song
Close my heavy lids and yawn
It is when I lose myself in a thought
It is when I gaze upon my child
think of my love
and notice my blessings
that there is peace
Filled with moments I’ve learned to treasure
and to stay in as long as I could
I’ve laughed with my whole heart
lingered there until the last exhale
I learned to cry
to release – but not to wallow
let tears fall … tasted them on my lips
the salt remembered.
Felt with each tick of the clock, page of the calendar
urgency to live
My brushes have been wet with color – hands covered with clay
My fingers typed so many words!
some that made a difference
many that did not.
My arms have circled family
felt the warmth of what is truly valuable.
I’ve tasted such wondrous things!
Felt my soul soar to crescendo with arias and duets in my ears
Read books I could not put down
been shown new worlds
I mourned their completion.
I’ve been enchanted by new love
watched my son fall into it
… for the first time
waves of emotion ebbed and flowed – the mother in me releasing her grasp …
(but never letting go)
I’m allowing hope to spread its wings
bracing myself to be brave
to let change
to let love
to let God
I celebrate with my heart this New Years Eve
not with clinking glass
I celebrate all that was
all that was not
all that will be
I celebrate the student I’ve become
and the mystery that’s me.