Blog Archives
Alarming leg cramps, Ibex & Soothing Food
I was extremely tired this morning, I wanted to hit my snooze button.
6 am, my alarm clock began bleating out it’s annoying sound that is set to progressively get louder. I did a half roll and WHAM! Cramp in my calf.
So not only did I not get 10 minutes more sleep, my arse was out of the bed in record time … standing down hard flat-footed for some cramp relief.
Talk about a rude awakening.
I saw something that calmed me down after heating up a cup of coffee. LOOK at these things! LOOK at them!!!
Those are Alpine Ibex and they’re licking the salt off the mountainside!! How the hell did they get up there you ask? I’m sure you know how to work YouTube.
Imagine seeing that one. LOL! “Henry!! There’s Ibex on the wall again!” Henry’s response: “Dam”.
Anyway, so I’m giggling and sharing and making the comment that if coffee or cake deposits were on the mountainside, I might do that climb.
(Of course, we know I’d definitely NOT do that climb, not for love nor money.)
But the thought of coffee and cake now has me in food mode.
I decided to self sooth after my traumatic leg cramp and did something I haven’t done in years. (Ok, this also has a lot to do with the fact that I still haven’t gone grocery shopping.) I drove thru McDonald’s for breakfast on the way to work!
Did you know they have egg white mcmuffins now? Probably not that much healthier considering it came with the usual hash browns. No hash whites accompany them that’s for sure.
So that was breakfast … then I discovered this AMAZING lunch item (also due to the fact that I have not yet been grocery shopping.)
My original mission was: Fetch wrapping paper, grab a food item, return to work.
I entered Wal-Mart through the garden section and picked out my paper – along with some adorable bows and was sauntering down the gift tag aisle when I noticed the line. Oh hell no. Put bows back – left with nothing. Time to grab food and get back.
Only restaurant with a drive through was Wienerschnitzel.
I’m not a big fan – but figured since I’d already blown eating healthy today, might as well sooth (not sure what I was soothing at this point) with a burger and fries.
There was this thing of beauty on the menu that I had never heard of before.
It is called: The Jalapeno Poppers Chili Burger!
I don’t do ‘wet’ bread – so I asked them to make it minus the chili …
When I got back to the office with my little delicious smelling paper bag of gluttony … I prepared. Napkin. Plate.
I could never have prepared for that first bite. Mother of GAWD!!!!!! The popper burst and released its cheesy innards – while the crunch of the pepper balanced out the bun and the meat …
It was probably the most delightful burger bite I’ve ever had.
And if it were on a steep mountain, I might actually pull an Ibex move on it.
Musings from the laundromat – for ‘realsies’ this time
It was driving me bonkers that my laundry day was being delayed. I dug through my purse, broke open my gumball machine and sheepishly traded in some quarters and dimes at the laundromat counter.
“We like change …” she said.
She’s sweet like that. Took herself away from her ironing to accommodate my change.
So now I’m back on track – albeit, a little later than normal.
First thing I noticed was the lack of carts.
Seriously, where did they go?? On a group mission to search for missing socks? I don’t know. There are usually 4 carts to a table.
There’s a different clientele in here too.
I don’t know these people. And while I’m glad I don’t have to do laundry after work tomorrow, I’m feeling incredibly out of my element with this new crowd.
SUCH a creature of habit am I.
“We like change …” I remind myself.
Because you know as soon as she said that, and even while I was making little quarter and dime piles, I was off on a tangent in my head about that sentence.
I’m not big on change.
I’m like a wary woodland creature.
I can be coaxed into a different environment by a treat holding hand with accompanying coos of “c’mon, little fella, it’s ok … I won’t hurt you”. But all the while I’m peering around and ready to scamper off back to the comfort of what I know.
I’m reminded of this right now …
Only I would see the box. Yes I would. I may be easily led, but not captured.
Unless it’s by my own damn rituals – like having to do laundry on a Sunday.
I’m still concerned about the carts by the way … they haven’t made it back and I worry about them. Perhaps I need to put down a trail of cart treats and coax them back?
What the heck do carts like?
Little droplets of WD40 for their wheels perhaps?
I’ll stick with my original thought that they’re on that sock finding mission.
Good luck on your valiant quest you brave, brave carts!
Musings from the Laundromat: Showers, Age Shockers and Speaker Phones edition
I haven’t showered yet. I’m late (by 12 minutes) and my little glaucoma man isn’t here. 😦
There IS however, this guy in front of me having a conversation on speaker phone. Really??
It wouldn’t be so awful, but he keeps looking at other patrons after he says something he must consider funny or clever – for affirmation. Stahhhp!! AND, he’s chewing on a straw.
_____________________
My alarm woke me from a dream about fairies and Eminem. I had the delightful pleasure of turning the alarm off, and snuggling back into my covers. Before I shut my eyes again I wondered why the hell I dreamt of Eminem.
In the dream, I was paid a visit by someone who said they’d received a complaint from my fairies. I wasn’t taking the best care of them. (Hey, I gave Nic’s hamster some apple last night – I care for things!)
As for Eminem – he and I were part of a group who were going somewhere. We were the last to leave as we were closest to the event. I was just about to get into the shower when he hijacked it. I ended up taking a cold one. Nice Eminem – nice. Slim Shady Shower Stealer. Anyway, it turns out he prefers baths … in, um … red stuff.
So I’m here.
It’s quiet. (Other than obnoxious speaker phone guy)
I figure after I clean the house I’ll bathe and be all fresh and clean for relaxing with a movie or two.
Speaking of movies – ever watch an oldie but a goodie and notice something you hadn’t before?
Yesterday I watched American Beauty. Now, the first time I saw it, my general thoughts were that he was going through a mid-life crisis. Yesterday, I was standing in the kitchen making a pie when he uttered the sentence in his opening monologue “I’m 42 …” Whaaat?! 3 years younger than me now!
That’s the thing about watching old movies, we’ve aged and the characters haven’t. We get to see them in a new light. Sometimes even while squinting, because lets face it – our eyes aren’t what they used to be.
Here’s another fun fact for you.
George Bailey in “Its a Wonderful Life”? 39!!!!
I am seriously feeling my age now.
Apparently so is Mr. obnoxious speaker phone guy because he just told the guy at the other end of the line “I’m too old for Hooters.” Followed by hearty laughter. Jeez.
C’mon dryers! Hurry up! I wanna go home!
Musings from the Laundromat: Baby in the corner and Butters in the bath
Eek! Totally out of my comfort zone. I have been relegated to a free-standing table, not my usual one that is snuggled up close to a line of washers.
I feel like a deer standing in the middle of a meadow – no tree cover! Here is where I sit.
It’s official, baby is IN the corner.
(Do you know, I’ve never watched that entire movie? I’ve also never seen all of Top Gun nor any of the Matrix movies.)
I wanted to photograph some sheep on the Indian reservation for you today – I stopped by the area and asked which field they were in – but I guess they’re gone.
Then I pulled into the parking lot here and only 1 car! I was surprised to find a lot of people inside though. Is there a secret parking lot I’m not privy to?? Or were they all dropped off? Hmmm …
Here’s newspaper man.
‘
In MY spot. (lol)
Then I spied Santa folding his little washcloth. Or maybe it’s Rudolph’s – who knows..
Anyway, lots to do when I get home.
It’s Butters bath day today. Oh how I wish I could somehow capture that whole experience for you in photos/video. It starts with me giving off nonchalant ‘bath vibes’ that she picks up on immediately.
We proceed to play “C’mon!” and “Ok! I give up” for 5 minutes as I try to catch her. Then when I finally do, (and usually it’s in a part of the house the furthest FROM the damn tub) I scoop her up (Like a bag of unevenly packaged potatoes) and carry 70 pounds of manatee (very ungracefully) to the bathroom.
The actual bath is adorable. She rests her ginormous lips on the side of the tub, knowing mom isn’t going to get any water in her eyes or ears and looks up at me with gratitude.
By the time it’s “All done!” she’s sort of sad we are.
I clean her little ears out and rub her as dry as I can while she wiggles and tries to bite the towel.
After hopping out of the tub she’s happy. I wish she would remember that ‘happy’ and associate it with the word ‘bath’ – it would make things a LOT easier.
I mean, if someone said to me “Cake time!” I’d sure as hell remember how delightful cake was. I’d be following that person directly to the cake.
So why does my intelligent dog – who knows the words ‘hot dog’ ‘cookie’ and ‘outside’ very well – not put the word ‘bath’ together with the experience of being scrubbed and petted and clean and happy?! Canine mystery.
Time to fold – so I wish you a happy Sunday and may all your bath times be good ones!
Mirror Mirror on the Wall
What to say about this guest writer? I met this amazing woman when I was young – in my first real apartment working my first real full-time job – I think it’s safe to say where, as neither of us are near there anymore, Pebble Beach. (OMG, I was my sons age!) and my thoughts about her then were that she was a beautiful ‘broad’. Let me clarify. I think of ‘broad’ as a compliment. Someone who knows who she is, doesn’t take crap and knows where she wants to go. Spoke her mind, was amazing at her job and was someone I looked up to. I was blessed to get to be a part of her friend circle – I, to this day, have no clue why she let me in. I mean, I was seriously green – making all my first mistakes and was not anywhere close to being a ‘broad’. (Still not there yet lol).
I spent time with her and her husband Steve. House sat for them once and tended to their iguana? It was either a ginormous iguana or a wingless dragon that struck fear into my heart – but I did it because I felt honored to be asked.
I remember a military picnic of sorts with her and loved spending the time and loved that she invited me.
(Time plays tricks, did I house sit or just meet the dragon at that picnic??)
We lost touch, as people who carry on through life out of arms reach do – and found one another on Facebook years later.
Now we’re both moms and she’s still with her love. ( I LOVE that part)
A couple of years ago, she sent me a book and an essay she wrote. The deal was, I was to pay that forward, write my own essay, send it and the book to someone. I have greedily held onto the book – and the essay. I will forward it when I’m ready. When I feel I’m in a place to offer any kind of wisdom without feeling like I don’t even take my own advice.
I called her out on Facebook to be my next guest writer and she obliged. I give to you – Ann – (You can’t have all of her – just this for now. But trust me, she IS the sort of woman who would give you all of her. Kind, compassionate, generous, loving …. anyway – tangent)
Ok Here it is. Mirror Mirror On The Wall
I have always been aware of the mirrors on the wall. Big, small, ornate or simple I have greeted each mirror with the understanding that it is a true reflection of what is before it.
For many many years I have seen mirrors with both a true reflection and a “magnified” reflection. Assuming that the magnification was intended to witness blemishes and faults in the epidermis of us all I appreciated its purpose. Then suddenly the other day I realized its true purpose.
I am 50 and quite comfortable in my own skin and body and believe me it is not perfect. I was fortunate to have been at my best physically between the ages of 17 and 22. (thanks Mom & Dad for the good genes among other things).
So on to the mirror. It is two-faced; true and big. Going to apply simple eyeliner I threw on my “readers” as I can see virtually nothing without them, only to realize haha I cannot apply with them on.
Of course!
And then I know, it is an epiphany.
That is what the magnification side of the mirror is for, aging people applying make-up!
Just goes to prove viewing something from another perspective is always an opportunity for education. Different perspective, different answers. It is all in what you see and what you need.
Debauchery Soup 
