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Alarming leg cramps, Ibex & Soothing Food

I was extremely tired this morning, I wanted to hit my snooze button.

6 am, my alarm clock began bleating out it’s annoying sound that is set to progressively get louder. I did a half roll and WHAM! Cramp in my calf.

morning leg cramp

So not only did I not get 10 minutes more sleep, my arse was out of the bed in record time … standing down hard flat-footed for some cramp relief.

Talk about a rude awakening.


I saw something that calmed me down after heating up a cup of coffee.  LOOK at these things!  LOOK at them!!!

alpine ibex climb

Those are Alpine Ibex and they’re licking the salt off the mountainside!!  How the hell did they get up there you ask?  I’m sure you know how to work YouTube.

alpine ibex smattering

Imagine seeing that one. LOL!  “Henry!!  There’s Ibex on the wall again!”  Henry’s response: “Dam”.

Anyway, so I’m giggling and sharing and making the comment that if coffee or cake deposits were on the mountainside, I might do that climb.

(Of course, we know I’d definitely NOT do that climb, not for love nor money.)

But the thought of coffee and cake now has me in food mode.

I decided to self sooth after my traumatic leg cramp and did something I haven’t done in years. (Ok, this also has a lot to do with the fact that I still haven’t gone grocery shopping.) I drove thru McDonald’s for breakfast on the way to work!

Did you know they have egg white mcmuffins now? Probably not that much healthier considering it came with the usual hash browns. No hash whites accompany them that’s for sure.

So that was breakfast … then I discovered this AMAZING lunch item (also due to the fact that I have not yet been grocery shopping.)

My original mission was: Fetch wrapping paper, grab a food item, return to work.

I entered Wal-Mart through the garden section and picked out my paper – along with some adorable bows and was sauntering down the gift tag aisle when I noticed the line.  Oh hell no.  Put bows back – left with nothing.  Time to grab food and get back.

Only restaurant with a drive through was Wienerschnitzel.

I’m not a big fan – but figured since I’d already blown eating healthy today, might as well sooth (not sure what I was soothing at this point) with a burger and fries.

There was this thing of beauty on the menu that I had never heard of before.


It is called: The Jalapeno Poppers Chili Burger!

I don’t do ‘wet’ bread – so I asked them to make it minus the chili …

When I got back to the office with my little delicious smelling paper bag of gluttony … I prepared.  Napkin.  Plate.

I could never have prepared for that first bite.  Mother of GAWD!!!!!!  The popper burst and released its cheesy innards – while the crunch of the pepper balanced out the bun and the meat …

It was probably the most delightful burger bite I’ve ever had.

And if it were on a steep mountain, I might actually pull an Ibex move on it.



Deep thoughts @ ‘too bloody early O’Clock’

SO I was thinking. (Uh-Oh). I’ll begin with why I’m up.  My alarm went off, I blatantly ignored it with a thump to the snooze button, then actually acknowledged the 2nd set of beeps. 

oh crap meme

PANIC!  Oh crap!  It’s 6:33!  I’ve got to wake Nic up!  Get his breakfast!  Get him out of the door in 7 minutes to make the bus!  Okay, if I hurry, I can get ready for work and drive him to school … (yes, he’s 17, get off me, I like our routine, besides, he sleeps like a log and doesn’t hear his alarm).

Oh.  That’s right.  It’s Saturday.  And he’s not even here. 

Ta-da.  I’m up.

I’m not one of those ‘go back to sleep’ types.  Dammit.  So I’m up.

Back to thinking.

I have a book someone loaned me called ‘The Big Book of If’s’.  Thought it would be fun to post one a day on my Facebook page and see what people had to say.

This morning was ‘If you could have God perform one miracle today, what would it be?’

Yesterdays was ‘If you could change one thing about your mother’s life, what would it be?’

Now – I recall every birthday as a girl, blowing out the candles, squeezing my eyes tight and (oh so originally) wishing for a pony. Actually, I wished for a horse.

birthday candles

Never got one – did go on to become quite a good rider in both English and Western.  But I digress.

What if *poof* there was suddenly a horse in the garden? 

When we’re little, we don’t think about the fact that the horse might actually need things.  Like, oh say, food.  Room to roam, medical care, new shoes, accessories, baths, being picked up after, etc. etc.

Had a similar thought when the Power Ball lottery here was up to half a billion dollars.  No, not that I would buy a pony, but about our initial gut response to what we would want, or want to do without considering the side effects. 

If you’re not a greedy, self-centered bastard, which describes no one I know thank goodness – one repeated answer to ‘what would you do if you won the lottery’ is usually ‘I would give a lot of it away, help people’.

Very noble.  Very kind.  Very.  However, (and this is how my mind works) what about the butterfly effect?!

What if you help (with all good intentions) someone out of their tough situation and they were supposed to be going through it? 

I can vouch for the fact that when things were really the darkest, I came out of it stronger, more self-aware, more spiritual and a hell of a lot more grateful. 

I’d have to carefully assess someone’s entire situation before giving them the ‘gift’ of money.  Money doesn’t make everything okay.

Are they working?  Are they trying?  Are they making the best of things? 

Bailing someone out is a lot different from helping someone up.  I’m not saying I wouldn’t be giving money away left and right, because I totally would – I’d just have to take time to know if it was the right thing to do in each situation. 

OK.  Onto the ‘If’. 

Thought long and hard about the mother question.  In some selfish way, I considered a lot of changes I could have wished for her, but then I probably wouldn’t have been born.  We can’t have that!  Good grief.

Even if I wished she knew her value – that could have deleted me right out of the picture.  If she knew her value at a younger age, she may never have slept with my dad!  She might have remained celibate for crying out loud.

Remember the monkeys paw people!! (What is it with the critters?  Butterfly effect, Monkeys paw)


So my answer ended up being ‘that she had her dad longer’.  He passed too soon.  And she has regrets that she didn’t get to say good-bye and they weren’t speaking at the time.   But, then again, who’s to say that didn’t teach her to be sure to tell everyone from that point forward that she loves them while they’re here? 

This is my point.  Everything has a ripple effect.  We may not see it.  We may not understand it.  We may not like it.  But it’s true.

If I hadn’t lived my ‘Debauchery’ bits, well, first, this blog would be called something else.  Secondly, there would be no Nic. 

Reminds me of that song by FUN – the last part:

“My heart is breaking for my sister and the con that she call “love”
When I look into my nephew’s eyes…
Man, you wouldn’t believe the most amazing things that can come from…
Some terrible {lies|nights}…ahhh…”

So we have to be careful what we wish for.  And as for today’s ‘if’.  Could wish the miracle would be ‘no war’.  ‘No sickness’.  But – if there werent’ sickness or disease, how soon until the Earth just spiraled right out of orbit with the intense weight of the mega-population?  We procreate faster than we die these days you know. (I have absolutely no facts to support that, and I’m not going to look it up either).

I shall answer today’s ‘if’ this way. 

‘If you could have God perform one miracle today, what would it be?’

I would ask that he fill everyone with compassion. (That or Serenity, I can NEVER just pick one thing!)

And then I would hope that one of the compassionate people would come by and give me a pony!