Blog Archives

Musings from the Laundromat: Showers, Age Shockers and Speaker Phones edition

I haven’t showered yet. ¬†I’m late (by 12 minutes) and my little glaucoma man isn’t here. ūüė¶

There IS however, this guy in front of me having a conversation on speaker phone.  Really??

image

It wouldn’t be so awful, but he keeps looking at other patrons after he says something he must consider funny or clever – for affirmation. ¬†Stahhhp!! ¬†AND, he’s chewing on a straw.

_____________________

 

My alarm woke me from a dream about fairies and Eminem.  I had the delightful pleasure of turning the alarm off, and snuggling back into my covers.  Before I shut my eyes again I wondered why the hell I dreamt of Eminem.

In the dream, I was paid a visit by someone who said they’d received a complaint from my fairies. ¬†I wasn’t taking the best care of them. ¬†(Hey, I gave Nic’s hamster some apple last night – I care for things!)

As for Eminem – he and I were part of a group who were going somewhere. ¬†We were the last to leave as we were closest to the event. ¬†I was just about to get into the shower when he hijacked it. ¬†I ended up taking a cold one. ¬†Nice Eminem – nice. ¬†Slim Shady Shower Stealer. ¬†Anyway, it turns out he prefers baths … in, um … red stuff.

image

So I’m here.

It’s quiet. ¬†(Other than obnoxious speaker phone guy)

I figure after I clean the house I’ll bathe and be all fresh and clean for relaxing with a movie or two.

Speaking of movies – ever watch an oldie but a goodie and notice something you hadn’t before?

Yesterday I watched American Beauty. ¬†Now, the first time I saw it, my general thoughts were that he was going through a mid-life crisis. ¬†Yesterday, I was standing in the kitchen making a pie when he uttered the sentence in his opening monologue “I’m 42 …” ¬†Whaaat?! ¬†3 years younger than me now!

That’s the thing about watching old movies, we’ve aged and the characters haven’t. ¬†We get to see them in a new light. ¬†Sometimes even while squinting, because lets face it – our eyes aren’t what they used to be.

Here’s another fun fact for you.

George Bailey in “Its a Wonderful¬†Life”? 39!!!!

image

I am seriously feeling my age now.

Apparently so is Mr. obnoxious speaker phone guy because he just told the guy at the other end of the line “I’m too old for Hooters.” Followed by hearty laughter. ¬†Jeez.

C’mon dryers! ¬†Hurry up! ¬†I wanna go home!

 

Advertisements

Workin’ to the oldies

momrocks

Working away today at my desk with a top 40 station playing in the background.¬† The DJ announces it was time for¬†a song for all the hot moms out there – we’re going ALL the way back, they said.

“Yeah!” I’m thinking.¬† “Let’s go!¬† Let’s go all the way back!”

I was hoping for some Madness or Bon Jovi or Depeche Mode or something.

We went alllll the way back to 2003 with a Fountains of Wayne song.

WTH?!!!

In the past that sound bite has been followed by something from the 80’s maybe early 90’s.¬† I got to be part of the target audience!¬† I got to be ‘hot mom’.¬† Not today.

It then dawned on me as¬†I remembered my son turns 18 next month – ‘Holy Shit!¬† I’m ‘Grandma’ age!’¬† I mean, God forbid – but I could be!

Calm down grandma – I’m not saying this is a bad thing, I am merely pointing out that just yesterday I was ‘mom’ age and now …

When did this happen??

I took this question to a friend who works next door.  (Who, by the way, has nearly 15 years on me and is one hot babe and just this morning sent me a hilarious squirrel picture).

We pondered – have we really changed?¬† I mean, yeah – we’re wiser and worldlier (is that a word?¬† Apparently not, in edit mode it has a red line under it, but it’s staying) have a better grasp of what’s important in life and know more ‘stuff’ – but the essence of who we truly are, the things we like etc. have remained pretty constant.

For me at least.¬† I still laugh at the same things I laughed at in my 20’s, still cry over the same things I cried over in my 20’s.¬† I still love to read, love falling stars – I’m still terrified to break the rules (I even do a U-turn to collect my mail so I’m facing the flow of traffic).

So now of course, my tangent brain takes this ponderance (also not a word) to a new level with this charming thought.

Those old men I excused years ago with an¬† ‘Aw … he’s old, he’s harmless’¬† when they grabbed or spoke inappropriately, were doing those things with their 20-year-old essence in their older bodies.¬† Ewwwwww!

Shame on you!  Shame!

Back to the music thing.  You know, I took my son to his first concert, it was the Beach Boys.  Then to see Bret Michaels, total trip since I was his age when my friend Donna and I saw Poison (with Ratt funnily enough Рthe irony caught up to me later).  Then just this last summer to see the Summerland Tour.

So we’ll end this with the photo of the Gin Blossoms singer Robin Wilson and this old grandma aged woman.

robinwilson

Rock On! To all you moms out there – and rockin’ grandmas too.

Phase 1 of ‘cat lady’ … whiskers

I’m going there.¬† Yes I am.¬† I’m not afraid.¬† It’s a natural part of life.

We have reached a tender, special bonding milestone in my home. Mother and son both have to start tending to their facial hair!  Awwww!

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo! 

What the heck?¬† It seems like overnight!¬† My wake up call was the rear view mirror of my car.¬† The mirror in my bathroom is deceivingly dim.¬† I knew I had hair on my upper lip … but it was fine and blonde.¬† Damn rear view mirror.¬† Mirror of truth.¬† Mirror of age reveal.¬† Magic, stupid, daylight mirror!

So now the conundrum of which route to take for my beard and moustache! 

womanshaving

I’m still deciding.¬† Obviously I don’t want to shave!¬†¬† Do I want to be a waxing girl?¬† Tweeze?¬† Hair removal cream?¬†

I don’t want to do any of them!¬†

For this particular sign ‘o the times – I would wish the clock back.

I barely have eyebrows!  Never have had to groom them.  I guess my face was saving all its energy for my chin?

If I was already in my mumu calling my 15 cats to their dinner bowls, I’d just say f#@* it.¬† But I do still have to leave the house.

Was about to take Nic to a party when this little convo went down.

Nic: Mom … you have – um – a moustache thing here (Points to the right side of the corner of my mouth)

Me: Yeah – I know.¬† I haven’t decided how to handle it

Nic: (Laughing) Well go shave!!!

Me: NO!

I think it was probably the first time he was embarrassed at the idea of leaving the house with me.

Well get used to it baby – because I believe arm flaps are next – and I’m not wearing long sleeves in the Summer.

armflaps

I spy with my little eye … Me! Eek!

It has happened.  That next age leap acknowledgement. 

You know how other people notice more when someones child has grown, but the parents are pretty much oblivious to the minute changes as they see them on a daily basis?¬† It’s really not until a photo jolts you into acknowledging it, or you just suddenly catch sight of them in a different light.

It happened to me today.¬† But it wasn’t my son.¬†

I was suddenly OLD!  Well, old-er anyway.  I saw myself, not as some photos tell me I look, but as I really must look. 

There’s a HUGE mirror on the wall right before I turn left into my office.¬† I glanced up deep in thought and caught sight of me – as, well … me!

The videos on my ‘Debauchery in the Soup Aisle’ post were weird enough for me to watch, but to see ‘Amanda in her 40’s’ was quite sobering.¬† (And that’s saying a LOT considering I don’t drink).

I went from this:

To this: (I’m the one on the very right)

To this: (That’s my best friend on the left by the way – she’ll be dragged into the blog at a later date ;p)

To 43:

To THIS today! (At 43 1/2)

Have to admit, my hair is looking cute LOL! Loving the tendrils.

Now, I don’t spend a lot of time looking in the mirror, so the experience was jarring to say the least.

But! As my mom has always answered to “what do you want to be when you grow up?”

“A very old lady!”

Sure beats the alternative!!

Guess I really should rethink the whole waiting a while before entertaining the thought of finding a soul mate … before I prune completely away!