Blog Archives

Musings from the Laundromat: Mens razors vs womens razors

image

I have always held the belief that the razor industry has been screwing us gals.

We shave more skin footage than men (is ‘skin footage’ a thing?  It is now) we also have curvier ‘bits’ than men (ie: ankle bone) … and don’t play the ‘but the face is more sensitive’ card with me either – we all know we women shave areas FAR more sensitive than a face.  And yeah, as we age, on occasion, we shave OUR faces too.

I remember a time women would get 2 blades versus men’s 3.  Then the razor companies stepped up their game and when men got 4, count ’em FOUR blades, we eventually got 3 – and so on.

The problem with the ‘ladies’ razors is – THEY DON’T BLOODY WORK!  Well, they DO bloody us.

And when we’re nicked, and that first spray of water hits our tiny wound, shower water suddenly transforms into lemon water.  This, I am certain, is a scientific fact.

image

So you try the ‘safety blades’.  You know the ones – they have those little vertical wires across the already ridiculously ineffective horizontal blades.

image

Look how happy this woman is shaving ….

image

She even drew a happy face into her shaving cream, you know why she was able to?  Because the blades are so dull there was no danger. And GAWD! Don’t get me started on shaving cream!  Too late.

I don’t WANT perfumed, expensive gels or foams on my leg.  Especially when a blade and skin is involved.  Who in their right mind wants fragrance involved in a skin nick?

image

Plain old $1 Barbasol works for me – never mind paying triple for gel that is going to leave my shaved parts itchy.

image

‘Designed for the way a woman shaves’.  What does that mean?

Men apparently shave WITH the grain of their facial hair growth, but not on the neck.

Well, I’m here to tell you that there are parts we shave with the grain, and parts we don’t.  So I really don’t know wha the big difference is.

I do know one difference.  The price of the flipping razors.

We’re screwed there too.

I just stopped buying women’s razors all together and got better results and less financial hemorrhaging to boot.

Won’t be long before they start selling tiny little squares of toilet paper geared toward women to put on their curvy cut bits.  And the crazy thing is – there are women who would buy them!

And they’d be twice as expensive as toilet paper!

Stop the maddness!  And give us ladies a razor that works – for the same price as a man’s one!

Advertisements

Phase 1 of ‘cat lady’ … whiskers

I’m going there.  Yes I am.  I’m not afraid.  It’s a natural part of life.

We have reached a tender, special bonding milestone in my home. Mother and son both have to start tending to their facial hair!  Awwww!

Nooooooooooooooooooooooo! 

What the heck?  It seems like overnight!  My wake up call was the rear view mirror of my car.  The mirror in my bathroom is deceivingly dim.  I knew I had hair on my upper lip … but it was fine and blonde.  Damn rear view mirror.  Mirror of truth.  Mirror of age reveal.  Magic, stupid, daylight mirror!

So now the conundrum of which route to take for my beard and moustache! 

womanshaving

I’m still deciding.  Obviously I don’t want to shave!   Do I want to be a waxing girl?  Tweeze?  Hair removal cream? 

I don’t want to do any of them! 

For this particular sign ‘o the times – I would wish the clock back.

I barely have eyebrows!  Never have had to groom them.  I guess my face was saving all its energy for my chin?

If I was already in my mumu calling my 15 cats to their dinner bowls, I’d just say f#@* it.  But I do still have to leave the house.

Was about to take Nic to a party when this little convo went down.

Nic: Mom … you have – um – a moustache thing here (Points to the right side of the corner of my mouth)

Me: Yeah – I know.  I haven’t decided how to handle it

Nic: (Laughing) Well go shave!!!

Me: NO!

I think it was probably the first time he was embarrassed at the idea of leaving the house with me.

Well get used to it baby – because I believe arm flaps are next – and I’m not wearing long sleeves in the Summer.

armflaps