Blog Archives



Our Supreme Court declared legalization of nationwide same-sex marriage.

Which means, while States still can decide if they get married in their state, if you are married, you are married in THEIR state.

No more ‘same sex’ – only  ‘MARRIED’

I love that my son get’s this.

I’m not sure I totally get it – I’m reeling!  I THINK it means, no more ‘gay marriage’ and only ‘marriage’.

I love that my grandchildren will wonder why this was never a ‘thing’.

I love that we changed our profile pics to this:




I also love that it comes on the heels of  such intended hate – that resulted in such an unintentional positive change for our RACIST country.

But this says it all.


I am proud today to be ‘American’ (I immigrated here) – although, 5-4 is too pretty damn close.  But it is enough.

Enough is all you need.

In anything.



Today, I’m just proud that someone gets to love someone and have it count.

They get to show up at a hospital and not be turned away because ‘they’re not family’.

They get to share insurance, deeds, LIFE legitimately with their LIFE partner.

And be acknowledged.


My (too?) gay proud memo moment

Just had a very eye-opening experience.

I get memos all the time from lenders – I’m alerted when rates improve or worsen, when a new program is available and when there is a change in procedures with an existing program.

So I’m sitting and working and ‘ding!’ I have an email from a lender we use a lot.

Ever have a moment when you feel like you’re part of something important?  Historical?  When you know you won’t soon forget the moment you’re in and have a feeling your children might remember it too?

I was a student aid for the attendance office in high school.  On January 28, 1986, I was in that office when I had to deliver a note to each classroom advising the teachers and students that we lost 7 souls on Space Shuttle Challenger.  (It wouldn’t be until a few years later when the gravity of that task hit me.)

I still have the rate sheets from 9/11 – the alerts and market suspensions.

And today – a good moment.

I read the following memo and knew that I was part of a special moment:

“Effective immediately, on a case-by-case basis, VA will provide the home loan guaranty benefit to same-sex married couples in a manner consistent with the benefit currently in place for opposite-sex married couples.  After reviewing the following information, VA will determine whether a same-sex married couple can be qualified for a VA loan using the income of both spouses:

  • Date and State of marriage
  • State of residence at the time of marriage
  • State in which the subject property is located
  • State in which the couple currently resides
  • Estimated closing date of the VA loan”

(Etc.  I won’t type the whole email – I don’t need a plagiarism suit)

same sex benefits

So!  I’m reading this – and the grin on my face is getting bigger and bigger … The fact that it’s the VA loan is even more exciting to me.  From “Don’t ask don’t tell” to VA home loan benefit for same-sex couples?

Very cool.

Now – I ran with the ‘very cool’ sentiment, literally. 

Holding the memo that I printed, like Charlie held that golden ticket, I breathlessly shared the news with whomever would listen.  My eyes glistening with a shiny happy ‘very cool’ glaze.

Did not – for ONE second – occur to me that not everyone would share my excitement or my opinion.


I mean – seriously,  NEVER did the thought that perhaps not everyone would be as shiny eyed as me over it, enter my mind.  At all.  Ever. 


For sure.

I mentioned to the first person I told (after my eye-opening experience) that I needed to look at that.  I needed to look at the fact that I didn’t think anyone would have differing opinions.  He said, “Well … you wouldn’t.” 

That made me feel a little better  (but not less naïve).  I’m not comfortable that the thought wouldn’t occur to me that not everyone was open-minded and for equality.

And I’m still surprised.

Oh well,  years from now, when my great-grandchildren are thinking I’m pulling their leg about same-sexed couples being treated differently at one time – I’ll get to share with them the story of ‘the memo’.