Filled with moments I’ve learned to treasure

and to stay in as long as I could

I’ve laughed with my whole heart

lingered there until the last exhale

I learned to cry

to release – but not to wallow

let tears fall … tasted them on my lips

the salt remembered.

Felt with each tick of the clock, page of the calendar

my mortality

life’s frailty

urgency to live

To savor.

My brushes have been wet with color –  hands covered with clay

My fingers typed so many words!

some that made a difference

many that did not.

My arms have circled family

friends

felt the warmth of what is truly valuable.

I’ve tasted such wondrous things!

Felt my soul soar to crescendo with arias and duets in my ears

Read books I could not put down

been shown new worlds

new ideas

rhythmic sentences

paralyzing paragraphs

I mourned their completion.

I’ve been enchanted by new love

watched my son fall into it

… for the first time

waves of emotion ebbed and flowed – the mother in me releasing her grasp …

(but never letting go)

I’m allowing hope to spread its wings

bracing myself to be brave

to let change

to let love

to let God

I celebrate with my heart this New Years Eve

not with clinking glass

I celebrate all that was

all that was not

all that will be

I celebrate the student I’ve become

and the mystery that’s me.