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Musings from the Laundromat: Candy wrapper bug, crickets & car edition
I almost didn’t come today.
My son has been out-of-town the past week and so other than one stray sock I found of his, and Butter’s bath towel, laundry consisted of only my items – which wasn’t much.
I came when I realized I would need underwear.
Speaking of underwear, I got my morning off to a roaring start when I realized I put the pair I’m sporting today on inside-out. *sigh* I wondered if it was still ok to turn them – is it like food? Is there a 5 second rule with wayward underwear?
Since I’d just got out of the shower and am hygienic anyway, I did the switch.
The upside to only having my items in the washing machine, is that I didn’t have to check pockets for paper, thumb drives or money.
Money.
Groan.
I also almost didn’t ‘muse’ today – because as they say ‘if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.
But, here we go.
My car has had some issues and trust me when I say, nothing strikes fear into my anxiety ridden heart more than ‘car issues’.
The long and short of it is it broke, was fixed – broke again. I borrowed my son’s car which also managed to break on me. I am car cursed. No doubt. I shall go back to my broomstick soon if I have one more issue.
I won’t get into details – but suffice it to say, I’ve been subsiding on oatmeal, spinach and peanut and jelly sandwiches. Money doesn’t buy happiness, but it could sure as hell make having unexpected issues a little less painful on the pocket-book.
The second fix I could not afford and had to do what I’m REALLY not good at – accept help. Thanks mom.
Hate knowing I owe somebody something – but transportation is necessary.
Wishing this tow guy could just follow me around everywhere at this point.
Next topic – ‘Cute bug and Candy Wrapper’
Early in the week I went to fetch the office mail – it’s a small little walk to some cluster boxes. I take the opportunity to check on my pigeons (who I’m glad to announce, are rebuilding their nest. HA!)
Meandering back – I noticed a bug on a curb, nestled up against a Starburst candy wrapper. (my favorite flavor too – the pale pink – whatever the heck flavor that is)
“Awwww!”
I rushed in to grab my ipad and scurried back out to take a picture.
It wasn’t until closer inspection that I noticed things weren’t as they seemed. Instead of a bug being fond of a candy wrapper and snuggling up with it – it was a piece of litter and a dead bug.
Hey – to anyone that says I am a pessimist – remember this bug story! (Mom) I had such a great back story for the bug too! It was so freaking adorable in all its pink wrapper snuggling.
We did have a lovely bug story happen later that week at work though.
We’ve been hearing chirping. Cricket chirps and tried several times to find the source.
Last week we found it.
As an ‘Office Warming’ gift, we were given a plant. I’ve been caring for it and it’s thriving. (shocking considering my black thumb).
Anyway, one of the owners pulled the plant out of its basket and told me to come look.
The basket was sealed in plastic – and UNDER that, were at least a dozen little crickets!
They must have been born between the wicker and the layer of plastic.
“Let’s cut them free!”
We did – and as the owner let them outside I was overjoyed.
It was their first time out! The owner joked as we watched them head in different directions “I found a leaf!” voicing the one he was watching.
I named my cricket Mr. Nobbleheimer. I haven’t seen him since.
I’ll keep my eyes peeled for him though. I wonder what amazing outdoor things he’s discovered.
Probably by now he’s stumbled upon the candy wrapper bug – I hope he was momentarily charmed by it.
Jumping spiders and Buddha too!
Thursday at work, I noticed in my peripheral vision ‘something’ on the wall in front of my desk. I glanced up from being very busy and important to see a little spider. Okay. Little is good. Wall is good. Carry on.
He was industrious because not long after that my peripheral radar alerted me of an intruder on my desk. I laid eyes on him and decided it was time he went outside.
You may be thinking now that I am ‘bug brave’. I am not. I don’t do bugs. But I can’t just kill one either. So I do bugs when I have to. Even scorpions in the Summer get caught or vacuumed up in the bagless machine and placed outside.
Yes, my blood pressure rises to an unhealthy level, yes I have nightmares, yes I’m unreasonably itchy for hours afterward in some psychosomatic state – whilst my eyes dart around the room incase it was just one of one hundred, but I really do try not to kill them
Back to spider.
So I’ve decided he’s going out. (For all intents and purposes, it’s a ‘he’ apparently).
I get a slice of paper and put it in his path. Surely he’ll waltz right onto it and I’ll simply carry him out to the leafy bush outside.
He didn’t know how to waltz. But he had leaping down!
This is the part where I’m squealing like a little girl. Audibly.
A lot louder in my head – trust me, but my vocalizations finally get the attention of the loan officer at the desk across the room.
I explain that no conventional method of capture is going to work for this guy. “Help me! It jumps!” might have been the actual verbiage I used.
He meandered over. “Where is it?”
Good question – I’d taken my eyes off of it. Peripheral Powers Activate!
I focused in and there – on my desk – was the spider taking the last few steps to hide under the shadow of my shut-up Buddha. You remember him?
So he’s at the base of Buddha’s rock. Probably meditating on how much higher he could leap at me should I go through with my attempts of relocation. (The shut-up Buddha isn’t working by the way, I bite my tongue and look at him, but unedited words still fall out of my mouth all day long).
“Get an envelope” the loan officer says. Oooo! Good idea. Yeah – we can encase him safely for the trip!
Goes off without a hitch.
I scoop up the envelope.
“Don’t squish it”, he says – as I close the flap gently, just in case. No! I didn’t Close it close it – just put it down so there was no escape route.
Outside I go with him.
There. He’s happy. He’s free. I’m happy (a little itchy and looking around the room, but happy).
Back to work we go.
Fast forward to Friday.
Alone in the office – peripheral alarm starts to bleat out a warning.
What the heck?!?!
On my wall – a jumping spider.
I’m fairly certain the other guy didn’t find his way back in – so as I was telling my friend Betty, we’re left with the only reasonable, non-alarmist, sane answer – Jumping Spider Infestation!!!
(Okay, probably there might be a little family. But I’m sticking with infestation).
I emailed the loan officer something that could have passed for a telegram SOS.
“Help! Spider! Infestation! Should close office!”
He responded sometime later that yes, sounded like immediate closure was called for.
Followed by a damn winky emoticon. Pfft. Those ‘winky’ things mean someone is kidding right? I was left with the real danger.
I made it unscathed through the day. And this morning – my Betty puts this horror on my Facebook page.
It’s over four minutes long, you won’t need to watch for that long to be itchy and darty eyed the rest of the day.
Happy Spider! Saturday!
Debauchery Soup 